Miscellaneous: Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine"... - FML

By Username - 06/07/2011 02:54 - United States

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 389

You deserved it 4 094

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Same thing different taste

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 408

You deserved it 2 463

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 864

You deserved it 2 991

By karmaquestionmark - 20/11/2012 02:04 - United States - Silverton

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 125

You deserved it 36 898

Delusional

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 02:01

Today, my mom is 100% positive that she saw me meeting up with a stranger and buying some kind of drug from "him." I didn't even pass by anyone on my walk. I went to get dollar store pizza, because I can't afford to buy any decent food this week, let alone drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 102

By anti-drugs - 21/03/2011 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 270

You deserved it 4 267

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 261

You deserved it 1 724

By a critically injured shitehawk - 25/04/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 199

You deserved it 3 019

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 783

You deserved it 2 732

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 650

You deserved it 1 564

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 18:33 - Sweden

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 483

You deserved it 2 709

Next

Top comments

ilovecookies83 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:42

Get her help :|

Doortje 29

Wednesday 6 July 2011 8:43

Sounds like a great deal.

Comments

ham25 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 17:34

I know this great counsellor... if u want I could give you the number.. :)

captainsaltyball 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 17:45

that's awesome, if it was weed

jezombie 22

Wednesday 6 July 2011 17:52

lol I wish my mom was that cool.

Shleebs 12

Wednesday 6 July 2011 17:55

I'm guessing she was trying to make up a scenario in which someone tries to sell you drugs. Even though it was a little extreme, my guess is you won't forget it. ;)

theotherguy89 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 18:20

i beleive it was a metaphor ppl

JokerJohn7 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 18:27

she must have snorted it all

Upyous 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 18:40

WTF JUST HAPPENED!

trellz17 19

Wednesday 6 July 2011 18:58

umm come again...

GoneClubbin 9

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:08

OOOOOOH Good deal I would take it but I don't have a soul, yep same thing happened to me

mrsvickybear 9

Wednesday 6 July 2011 19:13

lmao

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The Top

Today, while riding to the skate park, I noticed a gorgeous blonde walking towards me. She gave me a smile as I passed so I turned and looked behind me to get a second glance. I rode my BMX straight into a light pole in front of a pub patio full of people. She saw it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 3 541

Today, I don't know why I bothered taking my family to the beach. All my wife wants to do is shop at the same crappy cheap chains she always goes to, and all my son wants to do is watch cartoons. Whenever I suggest anything different, they both throw tantrums. FML

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You deserved it 92

The Top

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 078

You deserved it 7 313

Today, someone asked me a question and I responded with, “What?” They said, “Are you deaf as well as stupid!?” then punched me in the throat. I’m actually hard of hearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 88

Today, I dropped my camera down 4 flights of circular stairs from the top of a lighthouse. Everything worked, it just had a few dents. Then, as I went to put it in my pocket, I missed. It fell 3 feet and hit the floor. Now it won't turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 926

You deserved it 17 298

Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 035

You deserved it 3 017

Today, I was visiting California with a friend. I saw a lot of palm trees by the road and asked my friend, "Wouldn't that be dangerous when there are coconuts...?" My friend gave me weird look and told me that those are two different trees. Turns out I thought palm trees and coconut trees are the same tree for 20+ years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 453

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 754

You deserved it 4 732