By fmylife7721 - 03/07/2011 05:51 - Canada

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 846
You deserved it 47 795

Same thing different taste

Top comments

iAmScrubs 19

At least you can start your own business now. Proactiv 2: Ingredients Unknown.


I think they're talking about masturbation here not ********

jmtmxer 0

really ? first comment and you put that ? how original....

your girlfreind just owned your ass. I like her, you make a dumb comment and she got you. sucks to be you aha. and it doesn't kill acne so stop rubbing it on your face OP. however it does help whiten teeth.. for those of you who care

tpreston 0

stop rating on the first commenter we all know you're envy him

well at least you don't have acne ..right? o.o

you got owned. and it doesn't help with acne but it does help whiten teeth and loosen plaque. my dentist told me this. he applies some to my teeth after every check up and he says once daily will make your teeth super white :)

i think its time to sue your dentist lol

flockz 19

ya my orthodontist once gave me sperm flavored rubber bands. it made all my food a little saltier.


Sure sounds like a STICKY situation! that was nasty...

KingGeorgeGal 12
tootsie5790 0

Woah ! Now U Kno Who Nt To Joke Around With

Look on the bright side, all of her friends will give blow jobs to you if they get a pimple!

why would I sue my dentist for whitening my teeth for free? it's a valid method. and hey, if you can't find any you could always use your own!

103- or i could always use yours. . . .

JokinglySerious 0

WTF?!? I didn't know it does that?!?

that's a little disturbing but cool, I do hope it's not his though

Jammy01jams 2

You all do realize someone has read all of this and did not get the joke... what this means is thy someone is now rubbing their own sperm on both their face and teeth... -_- Excellent... :D

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

103- are u being serious about that ur dentist does that?...

...And she jokingly texted all her friends about your failed attempt to get a *******,right?

cenax27 0

that bitch should be introduced to the back hand, good ol 40's

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

220- well the way she says it makes me believe it -.- and u never know might be some ****** up dentist out there

226 - No. There is no "****** up dentist" who gives his customers facials.

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

231- secret **** star dentist :L

iluvboobies 9

What goes around, cums around.

It burns if it gets in your eyes though dude.

flockz 19

hey jesus u got a beard right? wouldnt it get stuck in that? cumbeard.

hook_em 0

it's ok guys I didn't think of that ever I still do the same thing. it does help really well with oily skin it clears them zits right up. it also has those scrubin beads that get into the pores for blackheads it does wonders ooooo

Flockz, I'm Jesus. I found a way to keep my beard from getting sticky. I turn the **** that touches my beard into shampoo.

flockz 19

i would love to tussle that beard.

It's waiting for you man. And it's horny.

Carefull, your beard might get pink eye.

pinkeye is from getting bacteria from the anus in your eye, most commonly from someone sitting or farting on a pillow. also, last time I checked beards don't have eyes :/ maybe jesus' does tho

70 then how come you didn't find out about closing your eyes.

122-Because I was enjoying a nice Kids Cuisine at the time.

PsychoNinjaDuck 0

No, that's Chucks Norris. =]

TheRealBruce 12

um heyy 67 why does y'all have a picture of me as your picture and I'm sorry y'all I got off subject anyways this fml is just nasty!

hook_em 0

hey 216 why don't you come up with someone not in use I've had him for a while so your out of luck

englishhottiexx 0

Yeah OP can come on mine instead ;) haha

TheRealBruce 12

well 230 I have been on this site for a long time but I just finally verified this account and you please don't start anything cause I don't like to fight well I'm going to go cause jeffrey just got here

hook_em 0

ok 243 we already have the family guys personnel taken care of I'm on the thing where mr Herbert announced the official guys so have a nice day and please pick a new guy

TheRealBruce 12

I'm not going to fight with you I don't like to fight with y'all I've been here for a long long time and I'm more official than you I'm sorry you can pick a new account I'm sorry for the inconvenience thank you goodbye.

ImaWiseGuy 5

should of told her regardless of how I got rid of mine, it's how we're going to get rid of your...

"see? works wonders! your turn now..."

kennyisboss 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

that wasn't funny at all. that was more of an insult towards the person dating her aswell then

Yeah man, you tell her friends that she's anorexic!

Lmfao! Damn. Guess you have a story to tell now.

samanthanicolee 0

haha yeah that will be interesting when you try to explain it to other people

iAmScrubs 19

At least you can start your own business now. Proactiv 2: Ingredients Unknown.

sourgirl101 28

Will there be a market for that? I'm sure girls wouldn't have trouble getting that stuff for free.(:

sourgirl101 28

Oops, I missed the ingredients "known" part. Very wise!

Can I be your first customer? Or I can work for the company and help make it. I'll enjoy making it more than buying it. 8)

sourgirl101 28

Are you sure you want to work for that company? It sounds like hard work! *** I see you fixed your name.(:

iAmScrubs 19

Our motto is "a little bit of excitement in every bottle". We are hiring now at 1-800-DirectSperm. The product is actually endorsed by Justin Bieber if you can believe it!

sourgirl101 28

I thought balls needed to drop in order to product sperm. Dammit! Now, I understand why my bottle only had peach fuzz ball sweat!

... Sometimes, only my picture can explain hiw I feel. Other times, it's the exact opposite. This is one of those times.

jewknowit710 2

not that bieber helps produce it but loves working it into his skin! and hands.. and well you get the picture.

Sassy, how'd you change your name man? I'd like to know if it didn't involve making a new profile.

156 Sirin asked if I wanted it changed and she changed it. That's why I don't **** with admin.

Thanks for the crate of vodka and fine cigars, MrSassypants. Very considerate of you indeed.

Sure and if you need help with drinking the vodka we would drink together! I promise if I get a little tipsy I will not under any circumstance take advantage of myself. Oh how I love lying. They say my pants will catch on fire but my pants are to sassy. 8)

why not? he was just kidding around. I've had a boy friend try to convince me swallowing is healthy for your skin it keeps wrinkles away.

MetalSparks138 0

cuz at first glance its funny then it spirals down into a deppressing void of death and anguish :D

My impression was that he told her that in an effort to persuade her to let him (how to put this delicately...) finish on her face. "Hey, there are proven scientific benefits! It'll help with your acne problem!"

kidding... yea telling people putting cum on their face is hilarious

what a bitch you should break up with her because she could do more stuff like that which could hurt you in the future and get you in trouble just sayin

or you could not make a dumb joke and set her up to get you back? it's funny and he deserves it

Struggs 2
guitargoddess89 3

you probably don't have a boyfriend can't take a joke like that. guys joke like that all the time. lighten up a little will ya?

taticalnNinja 5

you maam have no common sense

wow if I were a guy I would hate to be your boyfriend can you take a joke

shybear15 0
iEatGuppies 0

wtf? that made no sense. wrong FML?

KiddNYC1O 20

Spare #12 guys, she's just 14.

cindayy77 0

Well I'm 14 and #12 is mindless to me :P I don't even think they read the FML correctly or something..