By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 18:08 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 345
You deserved it 41 566

Same thing different taste

Top comments

goldbugs 4

OP, Go get your dad back and explain the misunderstanding. It's better to be embarrassed than to have separated parents...


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This pun doesn't work for everything oh my

Just say it was a pop up and you couldn't exit it. **** your dad's life

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kingdutchhy it doesn't ;) better luck next time

Yeah OP's mom is kind of insane unless she thought that the father was cheating. Even then, investigating would be a better move than kicking him out.

Badkarma4u 17

Yeah, I'm thinking dad got the beter end of the deal. Free from your crazy mom.

#38 I'm sure the smooth jazz music and cheesy lines would help op's dad clear his name from cheating.

Today, my idiot son forgot to plug in his headphones before jerking off. My wife thought it was me and kicked me out. FML

More like **** your dad's life. You should have owned up to that.

goldbugs 4

OP, Go get your dad back and explain the misunderstanding. It's better to be embarrassed than to have separated parents...

I dunno, if his mother is crazy enough to kick his dad out for watching **** I understand why he wouldn't want to confess. Also, she might have wanted to kick his dad out and just use this as an excuse.

sir. she believed the dad was cheating not watching **** :/

leogachi 15

We don't really know that. Some women consider **** a relationship ender because they equate it to cheating.

#26, I completely agree and unless she owns the entire house, I don't think she can just kick the father out.

leogachi 15

I don't disagree, #105, I just wanted to point out that those people exist.

while I don't agree with the train of thought I think that some women think more along the lines of "they're thinking of/ getting off to someone else. Obviously I'm not enough for them"

While I believe **** is fine, I can think of a few situations where I would consider it understandable for the wife to get angry. For example, if her husband is downright addicted to **** and it is something that is negatively effecting the quality of their relationship. Or if prior to entering a serious relationship, she made it clear to him she was not ok with either of them watching **** and he agreed to those conditions. And so on so forth.

I don't agree with "banning" things either, but I think if they decided that together at an earlier point or if it's an addiction they have already addressed many times in the past and are struggling with, it's not "crazy" to get angry. Also I totally agree that there's nothing in the FML that suggests such problems, but there really isn't anything in the FML that suggests the opposite either. The focus of the FML is more of the kid's part in it, and if they were struggling with such things I doubt his parents would even let him in on the details. I'd agree with the "kicking him out of THEIR house" being an overreaction (separate rooms, if you don't want to sleep together, is enough imo) but many spouses kick each other out for multiple other reasons when angry, and I don't think that makes them "insane." Just makes them people who need to learn how to conflict-solve and handle their anger more effectively and respectively for the sake of their relationship.

Well my original comment was also simply to give alternate reasons as to why the wife might be upset. It was never addressed to you specifically. The second comment was in order to respond to you, which was why I quoted you on certain parts. Ie: the “kicking them out of the house” part. I was agreeing with you on a specific point, so the quotation was in order for you to know which part of your quote I was agreeing with. Also the reason I brought up the original FML's context (in my second comment) was because you said "I understand if he's an addict or he broke his word, but there's nothing in the FML that suggests that over her just being controlling." So while I was agreeing that you were right (that nothing suggests addiction), I was just pointing out that nothing suggested she was banning **** simply because she was controlling about his masturbation habits. I was just generally stating that the FML gives no context as to "why" it's a problem in their marriage. And I agreed with you that kicking him out of the house was a bad thing to do, so I don't know why you brought that up again?

Also I can think of many non “crazy” reasons (other than that the person watching is addicted) why someone could want **** to be banned from their house. For example they could both be in a religion in which it is not ok, but one spouse does it in secret and is trying to get the other spouse to lie about it to everyone. He could do what he wants, but if he is trying to implicate her in a lie or to do other things she is not ok with, that is bad imo. Or maybe the wife is the one who is a past addict and it makes it difficult for her not to relapse if it’s loud/he doesn’t clear browser history/he isn’t being careful and she keeps walking in on him (it’s not his fault she’s addicted, but just like how it would be if a husband was constantly drinking in front of his ex-alcoholic wife, it’s kinda douchy). Maybe it’s the type of **** being watched (child ****, real non-consensual rape ****, etc…) and the spouse feels that it is morally wrong to watch a person/child being raped for real. Maybe one spouse has traumatic past experiences and the **** being watched is insensitive to that: for example, a girl has a history of recent repeated rapes, and yet she keeps walking in on her husband watching fake-rape ****: of course it’s fake, but if it’s something she finds traumatic and is still dealing with, it can hurt her to know her husband is masturbating to the image of a woman getting fake-raped. Maybe he could just put her wants and needs before his own and watch a different type of ****, or if he absolutely cannot stop watching (fake)rape-****, to watch it elsewhere. Maybe the **** is not an addiction, but is still negatively impacting the relationship: like one spouse is pressuring the other to be more like the **** stars, or one of them is always getting their sexual gratification from **** and puts zero effort into having sex with their actual spouse and trying to satisfy their desires too. The list goes on… While I believe watching **** to satisfy yourself is fine, I also believe that when you love someone and they have explained how your **** habits are truly hurting them and the reasons are legitimate, it's not unreasonable or crazy to want to put their needs/desires before your own and make a compromise.

Is it possible that the father was kicked out because he was playing the noises loudly in a house with kids?

thatonetribute 31

Eff your dad's life! It's your own fault.

The first step to becoming a man is admitting your mistakes. Don't let your father take the fall for your actions.

AviKerensky 17

Make like Full Metal Jacket and sound off like you've got a pair.

giantsfan2010 23

That's pretty chicken shit of you letting your dad take the blame.