Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
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Top comments
goldbugs 4
OP, Go get your dad back and explain the misunderstanding. It's better to be embarrassed than to have separated parents...
taymichele16 15
More like f your father's life
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Comments (137)
YFOS_fml 17
you're a horrible person!
amileah13 26
Not good op, you could destroy your parents marriage because you didn't fess up. If you don't do it for yourself, at least do it for the sake of your parents. They deserve to know the truth
AnonymousZOMBIE 12
man up.
MandieL 27
You know how parents will tell their kids "it's not your fault" when they get a divorce? Well this time it would be a very false statement.
kudwafuuu 15
That's pretty low of you not to admit it, as embarassing as it might be to admit to your parents you watch **** it's not as bad as your parents seemingly having a serious fight over this. At the same time though I don't know why watching **** means he should be kicked out of the house? A lot of men and women who are in relationships still watch ****, it's extremely common and normal. Your mom sounds like she might have issues if it makes her that upset over it. Maybe she was having a bad day but still..
Sophia94 9
You could have atleast made up an excuse and say it was some advertisement from watching an illegal movie online or something, at least she will know it wasn't your dad. Or just own up to it. I know it is embarrassing but better than you causing a rift between your parents. By the way, I think your mom overreacted
ForeverAlive 1
Coward... that is all
sayhisoph 26
You rather want separated parents? Man the **** up!
nekminnet 13
Man up you little weasel
jeffreyl0ve_2011 14
that's f'ked up especially because it's your DAD!