Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
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Top comments
goldbugs 4
OP, Go get your dad back and explain the misunderstanding. It's better to be embarrassed than to have separated parents...
taymichele16 15
More like f your father's life
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Comments (137)
daddysgirl243 21
that's really ****** up
ILikeKoalas 24
So why didn't your dad say it was you, not him ?
xXAHXx112 13
this is the best thing i have read today! even if you did tell your mum do you think she would believe you? bit overkill kicking him out though, your mum sounds harsh
ally8 21
You'd break your parents up just to save face? Harsh
helveeta 11
Your mom kicked your dad out for watching ****? He's better off imo!
mattrd_fml 31
what the hell? you just sat there and allowed your dad to get kicked out of the house? F your dad's life. :-(
goozeo 11
There is no excuse for doing any of that lol you totally deserved it
Dr_Lily_fml 17
As much as I don't care if my partner watches **** (since I watch some too), I would clearly mind if he was doing it in the house while me and the kid were there. I assume she just kicked him out temporarily because she's upset, I don't think she threw all his stuff out of the window and called a lawyer :p Own your shit, dick, by the way.
Fmlsea 28
you should tell your mum the truth ! you dad is coping the blame for something he didn't even do , how is that fair. be a man and tell your mum!
jet223 20
For some reason I do not think this FML is real.