Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I came home from school and went upstairs to sit on the balcony. I walked past my mom and said hello. She then got mad at me because I didn't ask how her day was. She said I should stay in my room and that I don't deserve dinner because I don't value her tasks in the house. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, I decided I need help, so I confessed to my mother that I'm bulimic. After she looked it up online she started screaming at me for "Wasting food that I'm not paying for." FML
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Top comments
_Vamp_ 9
Well, you should've used a goddamn plate you wreckless hobo. You and your poptart-no-plate eating shenanigans. :)
s0m3guy2010 21
I've heard that can be punishable by death in Texas. Just be glad you're alive.
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Comments (138)
FarSide 23
If I were you I would find a course in remedial spelling and grammar.
Btreasure 8
Oh the joys of menopause
mrmerino 0
Oh you rebel.
frankwolf86 0
looks like someone is the mayor of crazy town...
skyeyez9 25
my brother does this and leaves poptart crumbs all over his bed.
floatguy 2
I think mommy needs to chill out!!!!!
CiaranPM 0
Woman logic.
sxdryv 14
Anyone else see the irony in your "mother" calling u a bastard?
perdix 31
A pop tart is all it took to find out that your Dad is not your real dad. One can only wonder what deep, dark secret you will uncover if you eat a [JimGaffigan] Hot Pocket! [/JimGaffigan]
BloodyMary666 24
Talking about aggressive...