By Anonymous - United States - North Olmsted Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML I agree, your life sucks 4679 You deserved it 371 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By twinzies - United States - Chula Vista Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML I agree, your life sucks 21510 You deserved it 1822 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pantsareathing - Canada - Elliot Lake Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML I agree, your life sucks 24392 You deserved it 2440 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unsuccessful popping - United States - Tappan Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML I agree, your life sucks 32187 You deserved it 2827 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yeah hun i think insects arent animals too - Germany - Leipzig Today, I yet again had to pretend to be a dumb bimbo so that my boyfriend wouldn't get upset over the fact that, in some cases, I might be smarter than him. FML I agree, your life sucks 41519 You deserved it 23767 208 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By booo - United States - Minden Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 25111 You deserved it 3262 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Almost_Homeless - Canada - London Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML I agree, your life sucks 46888 You deserved it 3383 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By roidrager - United States - Clearwater Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML I agree, your life sucks 33350 You deserved it 3053 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bye Bye Toast Today, I came home from a funeral to find that my mother had cleaned my house. She thought it would be a good idea to put my toaster in the dishwasher to clean it. My toaster is fried, and she thinks everything's fine. FML I agree, your life sucks 1947 You deserved it 142 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By willywonks - United States Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML I agree, your life sucks 164683 You deserved it 8262 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sexychica - United States Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML I agree, your life sucks 58264 You deserved it 6328 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML I agree, your life sucks 13364 You deserved it 131711 321 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crunknasty - United States - El Cajon Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML I agree, your life sucks 16993 You deserved it 61620 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lemonchips - Norway Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML I agree, your life sucks 24335 You deserved it 2958 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I realised yesterday was my 30th birthday. What made it worse is that my parents forgot, along with my other relatives and friends. No cards, no texts, no calls, no Facebook messages. Nothing. Happy 30th to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 4528 You deserved it 597 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I pulled an all-nighter to finish rereading my set work for my English exam. I managed to finish earlier than expected and decided to get some sleep. I then promptly slept through my alarm and missed my exam. FML I agree, your life sucks 23394 You deserved it 4982 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mrjude Whiner! Today, my boss yelled at me, telling me that I can't answer the phone anymore. Not because I do a bad job, but because a co-worker whined about it being her job. People call her and complain about how rude she is and then ask to talk to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1653 You deserved it 96 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Germany - Kerpen Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 687 You deserved it 1610 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By evomadrid24 - United States Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML I agree, your life sucks 31086 You deserved it 2775 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FireoftheFuture - United States Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML I agree, your life sucks 30888 You deserved it 55780 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sodge - Australia Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML I agree, your life sucks 17362 You deserved it 45034 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By exnotwelcome19 - United States Today, my mom told my abusive ex-boyfriend, whom I broke up with 5 days ago, that he is always welcome at my house. She "misses him". FML I agree, your life sucks 52228 You deserved it 3706 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hollysofly - United States Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML I agree, your life sucks 36085 You deserved it 7905 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By misshb - United Kingdom Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line "There we go, that's your freebie." FML I agree, your life sucks 12148 You deserved it 22639 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Cockstepblocked Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML I agree, your life sucks 1962 You deserved it 421 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lizzie1833 - United States Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML I agree, your life sucks 32719 You deserved it 5478 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LexMarie12 Help, I'm stranded! Today, at work, it was so windy that it started taking the door off its hinges. The door now won't close all the way. I can't leave until someone comes to fix it. FML I agree, your life sucks 4648 You deserved it 328 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oops Today, I submitted some honest negative feedback to the customer service team of all my favourite games, Today is also the day all my accounts got permanently banned from my console and I have lost all my progress. Bye bye 22 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 2684 You deserved it 923 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thalassophobic - United States Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML I agree, your life sucks 10631 You deserved it 51756 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML I agree, your life sucks 10942 You deserved it 41056 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Broderick - United States Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML I agree, your life sucks 29977 You deserved it 6932 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stuckhome - United Kingdom Today, my husband told me that he can't find his passport. We're supposed to be leaving for Prague in two days. He's known about the trip for months. It was the anniversary vacation that was going to help our frayed relationship. Now my money is going to a hotel in Prague, but I'm not. FML I agree, your life sucks 31701 You deserved it 4276 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yeaokay - United States Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and I. It started with, "I love you", and ended with, "You and your brother were mistakes." FML I agree, your life sucks 30034 You deserved it 2819 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poop - United States Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML I agree, your life sucks 69872 You deserved it 22037 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trying2breathe - United States Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. They also took the inhaler that fell out of my bag the night before. The one I needed to stop the asthma attack I had from the stress of having my car broken into. FML I agree, your life sucks 39226 You deserved it 2828 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML I agree, your life sucks 2389 You deserved it 904 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML I agree, your life sucks 48572 You deserved it 6369 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tgd4444 - Malaysia Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML I agree, your life sucks 42294 You deserved it 8437 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By We're still popping them - United States - Fremont Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML I agree, your life sucks 33560 You deserved it 2867 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/1/2021 23:01 Whoops Today, I had a very important video call for my job. I hadn’t used the particular app in a long time so I hadn’t checked my screen name. Turns out the last time I used it was in March with my friends, and my name was "Euro Slut." My employers saw it. FML I agree, your life sucks 224 You deserved it 790 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Broke as hell - 7/4/2020 23:00 Hangry Today, after being robbed last week, I had no money to go to the store for food. Instead, my dinner consisted of two Tums chewables in tropical fruit flavors. After not eating all day, I thought they actually tasted pretty good. FML I agree, your life sucks 1910 You deserved it 136 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By katluvr | 22 #7471183 - Friday 16 June 2017 12:04 Don't put up with that crap. Being someone's mother does not give one carte blanche to dictate. And just in case you're wondering: I am a mother of five adults. Send a private message 50 0 Reply
By ThongWarrior | 17 #7471184 - Friday 16 June 2017 12:05 How does that even work Send a private message 32 0 Reply
By katluvr | 22 #7471183 - Friday 16 June 2017 12:04 Don't put up with that crap. Being someone's mother does not give one carte blanche to dictate. And just in case you're wondering: I am a mother of five adults. Send a private message 50 0 Reply
By ThongWarrior | 17 #7471184 - Friday 16 June 2017 12:05 How does that even work Send a private message 32 0 Reply
Reply Nova Solarius | 10 #7471240 - Friday 16 June 2017 13:46 It doesn't. That's kind of the point, I think. Send a private message 6 0 Reply
Reply Starlight8 | 14 #7471585 - Friday 16 June 2017 23:40 I grew up with a very controlling grandmother and that is something she would tried to do. Her way or the highway. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By sunshine1421 | 14 #7471268 - Friday 16 June 2017 14:21 ahh moms... it never ends... pretty funny though Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Lobby_Bee | 17 #7471384 - Friday 16 June 2017 17:32 Moms will be moms. Send a private message 0 4 Reply
By AKchic | 7 #7471418 - Friday 16 June 2017 18:20 "Mom, in case you haven't noticed - I'm an adult in my own home. If you want to be a dictator, get your own country." Send a private message 23 0 Reply
By missyfiona89 | 28 #7471601 - Saturday 17 June 2017 0:29 North Olmsted, OH? Tell her you're running away from home to a friend's place. I'm on Columbia and brookpark. ? Send a private message 0 6 Reply
By wmayrhofer | 18 #7471636 - Saturday 17 June 2017 3:19 early onset dementia maybe Send a private message 0 1 Reply
By ProperPengTing | 15 #7471655 - Saturday 17 June 2017 5:08 Omfgg! Lmao Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By tolkien897 | 15 #7472122 - Saturday 17 June 2017 20:39 My dad tries to tell me I can't have piercings or tattoos even though I'm 19, married, and live with my husband. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By R_L_Jack | 11 #7473021 - Monday 19 June 2017 5:12 Really, don't invite her over, especially around meal time. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 622 You deserved it 182 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 1099 You deserved it 169 11 Comments
And just in case you're wondering: I am a mother of five adults.