Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I came home from school and went upstairs to sit on the balcony. I walked past my mom and said hello. She then got mad at me because I didn't ask how her day was. She said I should stay in my room and that I don't deserve dinner because I don't value her tasks in the house. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, I decided I need help, so I confessed to my mother that I'm bulimic. After she looked it up online she started screaming at me for "Wasting food that I'm not paying for." FML
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Top comments
_Vamp_ 9
Well, you should've used a goddamn plate you wreckless hobo. You and your poptart-no-plate eating shenanigans. :)
s0m3guy2010 21
I've heard that can be punishable by death in Texas. Just be glad you're alive.
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Comments (138)
kombucha_fml 8
that's probably not the only thing you do wrong in her house.
mbot20 0
Your mom sounds like she may be undiagnosed....
buddyguyfriend 1
That's is just really really funny. Everyone picture urself chillin with a poptart and boom mom flips.
bubo_fml 11
If your Mum calls U a bastard, what does that say about her?!?
dubbadee123 5
run away to see her reaction
Neonnight 0
Lol that suck
hoonyer 17
you leave crumbs everywhere and still have the nerve to complain??!!? lol
clemcool_fml 0
$10 says she said that AFTER the OP reacted like a little shit when she told him to use a plate. Mom's can be crazy but I've seen different versions of this scenario in action many times.
structuredchaoz 4
She may have a thyriod problem.
sparten28 6
haha been there