By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 949
You deserved it 7 600

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In Sovjet russia, door slams you! anti flooooood


FreshSalad 1

mustve been an expensive microwave

god be careful the doors are fragile you monster

ramboman19 8

those microwave doors are expensive! you could break it!! :d

fucking poor timing made me 6th

lucky ur old enough to move out if I was old enough I would be outta here my mom is so fking annoying

Sigh both comments are fails. Guess I'll be putting my head down stare at a lake and try to find my soul throughout a life changing walk

Lucky_Adi 0

wow, sounds like I would've wrote this FML a few years ago.

ramboman19 8

this whole comment system is stupid and doesn't work

i agree with 22.

dsizzle52 0


FreshSalad 1

Rambo and I basically wrote the same thing haha

Well you should know your dad is like this by now, so be more careful.

stepheniscool 0

dam phyco lol

FreshSalad 1

where did my comment go ???? :(

YDI the micro wave could have been hurt!

oh the horror! poor microwave

Emofluffinzhehe 0

woooooo awkward turtle babies!!!!!

Emofluffinzhehe 0

*runs in circles*

Thats why I moved out at my mom's first threat to scare me. She did regret it, but sometimes its for the best.

32's picture is making me reeeeally hungry.

tehamericanboy94 0

^ picture makes me reeel hungry.

babyale760 0

ur dad is a drama queen. maybe wanted an excuse to get rid of you.

Lol, like sam needs another salad :]

FreshSalad 1

I'm glad I'm making you ladies hungry for a fresh salad... it's a good choice. @37 I hate it when it does that!!!

Notjustanother1 0

just say yeah yeah watever muthafucker !

The_grumpy_bear 0

I'm sure there is something going on that helped build up to that and the microwave just set him off. Maybe leave the house for a while for things to cool down. I am sure things may get better afterward.

this is a bullshit teen fml because you know OP is either 25 and at home or smoking crack and acting the fool. grow up OP and gtfo.

SourSourDiesel 0

76 likes little boys aparently

haha, sounds like my dadddd.

tjrocks1294 0

well you don't disrespect the burritos

Well don't slam the fucking door you savage! Pack your shit and lie in traffic

SeedlessMe 13

Hey Freshsalad- you never heard of acme's disappearing, reappearing ink? ;-)

jrkarikas 0

UFO got slamming the damn microwave door!

mcgugs 0

I rarely comment on FMLs, but I 100% know what you're foing through. I have the exact same issue. I'm 14. FML.

bballer55 0

so many oldiez here, 14 IS WHERE ITS AT Y'ALL

Sounds ur father is more like a monster a little bit... much. @[email protected]

bubbarific 0

in Soviet Russia, good boy turned to you!

93 - Shut up. My mom threw my computer across my room and a planner in my face on my 15th birthday. And I wasn't on crack. T.T

I'm sure it was many events leading up to that... Though it does seem a little harsh. Try actually getting a place of your own if you don't want to deal with him.

dude what the fuck hes an ass if he cares more about a damn microwave than his kid

I'm sure op isn't telling the whole story.

blindyblonde13 0

hi everyonee. im bored, threadjack with me?

is ur dad on steroids?

blindyblonde13 0

nice username? aha whats up?

degrassilovur 0

I LOST THE GAME :p...!!!

159 I like your name! :)

blindyblonde13 0

ooh jesse me too!

159- fuck you I hate the game.

degrassilovur 0

thanks Ms_Jessie. nice pic...!!

degrassilovur 0

159- :( sorry

heidelbergmeme 5

#14 ohalitsme: hey you have a cute profile pic... how old are you?

what's with this whole soviet Russia joke everyone is like "in soviet Russia....blah blah blah"

it's's just that I never seem to win :(

ispitflames 3

Jess! It won't let me unblock you hahaha

degrassilovur 0

172- If it makes u feel any better I nvr win either...!!

degrassilovur 0

170- I kno rite !! I don't get it either...

110, is your name Brendan white?

177, I've seen like 3 differen people comment something about that on this post

178 considering his name is Jimmy 007 I think his name is Jimmy but it's only a guess

Hulk angry! Hulk smash!

174- thanks...i'm glad to see that I'm not the only one.

degrassilovur 0

like #6 below ..!! ive seen It on other fml too...!!

yeah it's like everyone is saying it will someone please explain the soviet Russia joke or is it just something stupid that doesn't make sense

degrassilovur 0

I'm with 189 on this one...!! pleeasseeee explain it(:

ispitflames 3

in soviet russia, comments post people!

Raleigh_bruh 7

You guys talking about The Game as in the show? Sorry, I'm kind of slow.. Today..

the only person who is good at soviet Russia jokes on this site is imbatman...just sayin

ispitflames y does everyone say that

the game that if you think about you you just lost.

ispitflames 3

in soviet russia, soviet Russia jokes explain them selfs

degrassilovur 0

192- the gane is a universal game that eeryone plays... the only way to wi is to not think about it ad when I think about it u have to gy as many other ppl to think about it so they lose also(:

btw, some of you "kids" are not guilty. I'm sorry to imply all of the kids deserve that.

Raleigh_bruh 7

#199 - Ah, I see. I think I'll like the show better (: but I guess I'll still play if I can?

degrassilovur 0

srry for all the misspellings. I'm using my bros keyboard :/..!! and I think I get the soviet Russian jokes but it seems kind of racial... (?!)

ispitflames 3

in soviet russia, my mom licks a apple while juggling seven apples at seven thirty seven in the A to the M

in soviet russia, the fuck up you shut soviet jokes russia about!

so no one is gonna answer me about this soviet Russia thing in a way that makes sense

14's right. Ignore them. If you retaliate, you're giving them a reason to play the roll like a gay chimp.

telle_16 0

i think theres more to this story...i cant imagine someone doing all that over a microwave..

degrassilovur 0

heyy 200(: I'm guessing ur board ...?? :p and 203- totally(: the more the merrier send me a message about te soveit russi jokes and I'll explain but I won't do it overthr comments, Kay ?

You just switch up the words like yoda and put "in soviet Russia" in front.

ohhhhh ok thanks Sean

Raleigh_bruh 7

They aren't called Soviet Russia jokes, they're called "Russian Reversals". Hence you REVERSE the intended joke and add "In Soviet Russia". Oh yeah.. I'm that smart.

thanks I was sooo confused when I saw those comments I had mo idea why they were posting comments like that

skaterkid1995 0

#159 noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! I hate the game

ispitflames 3

I [email protected] 211's stupidity

So it'd be like in soviet russia taco eats you instead of you eat taco.

degrassilovur 0

oh; i was thinkig that since during soviet russia it was still backwards and the slowest to modernize you chage the order of the joke to make fun if it but nvr mindddddd.....

Raleigh_bruh 7

#223 - You made me chuckle (:

degrassilovur 0

218- srry :p 219- I'm stupid, how exactly ?

bballer55 0

yea erm no im 14 and like 5ft10/11in not sure which soo....

degrassilovur 0

227- what?! no I didn't...!!

41 if I did tht I would immediatly get baqq handed but then agen I'm not old enuff 2 du much

redsox4021 0

Today, I was hung over and a little high. My whore of a daughter slammed the microwave door I threatened to throw her fat ass out.

ur like 90 lbs. I grow vegetables n my garden bigger than u

redsox4021 0

stfu Asian ^^^ Asians average height is 4'11

Vanessaxx 0

woohoo! I'm watchingg georgee lopezzzzz(: it's the funniest shoowwwww!<3

nooo scrubs is the funniest

Vanessaxx 0

nott evenn! that's a show about doctorss. this Is a show about mexicannsss(:

Raleigh_bruh 7

You're both wrong. The Office is funnier than both of those.

degrassilovur 0

ur all wrong. Degrassi es el mejor (:

Vanessaxx 0

whatss the office...?

yeah fricken hilarious doctors!! best doctors ever I must say. the office is okay...very weird though.

Raleigh_bruh 7

Degrassi es mayor cojo (: The Office.. You've never heard of this show Vanessa?? With Steve Carrell.

hubbabubbba 0

wow wat a biatch.

degrassi isn't funny. it's a dama right? idk only seen like one episode.

Raleigh_bruh 7

I don't know, Illmatic. I've only seen 1 episode also, and it bored the hell out of me. Plus, Drake has brittle bones so yah :P.

Vanessaxx 0

nooooo Raaa. :p

blindyblonde13 0

i love degrassi!!!

degrassilovur 0

225- I nvr said it was funny... I said it was the best(: ¿hables espanol? no es cojo, es una telenova para adolescentes..!! y no me gusta drake en degrasssi, el es feo y stupido,.!!

I'm pretty sure it is a drama. haha I laughed when I found out drake is on degrassi...never looked at him the same way again.

Raleigh_bruh 7

Gah, Vanessa :P. From now on I want you to promise me that you'll change the channel on your tv to NBC every thursday night at 8pm so you can watch new episodes of The Office. Can you do this for me (: ?

DRAKE WAS ON DEGRASSI! I suck his dick in my mind. don't tell Colin tho!!

Vanessaxx 0

you hablo español pequeño. porque no te gusta drake en dagrassi? dagrassilovr

pahaha 123 does look 11! sad sad little boy lol

Degrassi sucks. In fact, anything, other than Invader Zim, that has ever existed on Nickelodeon sucks. Bunch of bullshit whiny teen drama. Boring.

Raleigh_bruh 7

#260 -Si, hablo espanol: P. Ah, asi que usted no quiere drake en el degrassi? Lol usted es la primera chica que he visto que piensa que es feo. Hace musica buena aunque (:

Vanessaxx 0

I cantt. I never ever watch tv. pluss I go out everyynighttt Raleigh :p

your watching tv right now!!! you just said it!

Raleigh_bruh 7

Well thanks a lot, Vanessa :/

Vanessaxx 0

yeah . this is the first time I have in like 2 monthss.

Vanessaxx 0

sorry Raleigh :

Raleigh_bruh 7

I guess I can forgive you.

Vanessaxx 0

woohoo!(: thankssss

Raleigh_bruh 7

I foresee all the Spanish talk up there getting modded in the next 45 minutes.

Vanessaxx 0

agreed Jimmy, it's also good for the NY giantess<3333 and the NY yankeess<3333

Did RaIeigh get banned?

Raleigh_bruh 7

Raleigh sure did get banned.

email them and they might un-ban you

Raleigh_bruh 7

It's not a big deal.

All of you are wrong, the show The Game is the best. 

degrassilovur 0

hockey es aburrido. todos los deportes son aburridos..!!!

301 girl I watch the show everyday at 11am and 4pm lol. and everybody hates Chris. those are my fav shows

degrassilovur 0

Vanessa- lo siento. no veo que has esbribido. pienso que drake no era un bueno actor

dad- YOU MONSTER!!! WE don't treat microwaves like that in THIS house. now I'm gonna move to china where microwaves are ALL treated equally!!!! kid- WTF dad?!?!?

KiddNYC1O 20

king of queens is the best

Raleigh_bruh 7

Kidd - Yes! King of Queens is awesome :P.

Woh! hockey is boring??? No other sport allows players to beat the shit out of each other

I'll say it again: English only. Also, just a friendly tip: If you want to be unbanned or keep from being rebanned, not breaking the same rules would be step 1.

degrassilovur 0

yea I'm not that much of a sports person;; except cross-country and track tho...!!!(:

soty- try wrestling mma boxing football rugby etc.

KiddNYC1O 20

please, if anything sister sister is better than the game Raleigh- yep, so is Leah remini lol

Vanni, if you're refering to me being re-banned, I actually have followed the rules so far and haven't posted any more "antiflood comments, and no homophobic slurs, insults or stuff like that".

degrassilovur 0

sorry 312- I'm so used to flipflopping back from Spanish to English all the time..!!! I'll stop tho and if I do it again it's not on purpose, it's just a habit... :/...!!

I never knew there were rules for this site. lol

anlhawks 5

heellll yeahh

Except maybe a few well-deserved insults, and the "stuff like that" is kinda vague but I'm trying! Anyways I'm off to bed so g'night y'all!

Oh not you, sean. I'm actually really happy to see people want to be on the site enough to bother coming back or getting unbanned. As long as you're following the rules, it's all good. I wasn't really referring to anyone in particular. Just warning people that the chatting under 1st comment is being watched. &gt;:)

Okay cool. Are you gonna start moderating the thread-jackers again?

degrassilovur 0

did anyone hear that Meagan fox won't be in the next transformers ?? ^^ random I kno but I'm getting bored...

if that is true I refuse to watch it.

Raleigh_bruh 7

Yeh, she won't be in it because she talked bad about Michael Bay or something.. Who cares though, the last one wasn't even that good. And she has weird thumbs :P.


degrassilovur 0


degrassilovur 0

I meant 329

what's wrong with her thumbs?

Raleigh_bruh 7

Google her thumbs, bruh. You'll see (:

FreshSalad 1

@ SeedlessMe No I haven't... care sending me a link?

KiddNYC1O 20

lmao at Megan fox thumbs

yeahh some new actress, i cant remember her name is replacing megan fox in the next transformers. But thats good because I didnt think she was a very good actress, she just stood around and looked pretty haha.

ehhh she does have weird thumbs...oh well she is still bangin.

I'm sure there is more to this story then we know

Ths gy snds rlly Stupierd to me. Y te fk ds he gt bnt ot of shpe ovr nthng?

It's called Herodactyly or something like that, I just did a project on something like that, and when I typed it in on google to get pictures I got like 5 full pages of Megan fox -.- I'm like WTF?

P.S. Don't mess with Vanni

EllyH 0

I'm sure it's about many small diffrent things that are annoying.. And if you're of age to live on your own, you should really either be really greatful to be in his roof and be more or less the perfect roommate, pick up after yourself, clean and help out in the household. OR you should look for your own place and live as you please. Good luck. oh, if you're not of age.. well, then it sucks, for both of you. But you should still try to be a better kid. :)

93 looks like Jesse pinkman!

Freeze, wasn't Doug on Nick back in the day? I was a Quailman fan. Also: Venture Bros. > Boondocks. Just sayin'.

*BANG* and that door came off it's fucking hinges! :P

yeah he looks 11 not 14 nuff said:D

@jimmym007: because its ANNOYING

373- there are a lot of annoying things, but you don't see my complaining about it 

Alpha35 4

wow what an asshole why would you slam the microwave door

Raleigh_bruh 7

I have an odd question. Why don't mods ever actually have pics of themselves up?

@Storyoftheyear(?):fml isn't a social networking site, if you want to chat or catchup with someone, inbox them or ask for their information, such as YIM, facebook, myspace ect. and talk to them there. It's pretty obvious that they are cracking down on thread jacking with people getting banned or warnings in their inboxs, so if you want to deter from getting banned,then take the hint and stick to the rules of the site... its really not that dificult

301- I love Spongebob- what makes it sad is I'm 29 y/o. Oh well. :)

lillylove_fml 6

what no one understands is the value a nmorcowave is to a father. obviously the son is old enough to move out, and in case the father was a small boy when he got someone pregnant, over 40. mircowaves were new when he was growin up, and he still treasure them and treats them with respect. it's so rude to slams a door of anything, and peole need to realize animals have feelings too. stop abusing them, its was so mean of you to slam a puppy into a wall and I would say the same thing. YDI.

sheckyisbatman 0

Dude I wish I could high five you.... INVADER ZIM!!! FTW!!

DeadMoose 0

ydi for slamming the helpless microwave door. those things break easily you know.

islandjew247 0

YDI for slamming the microwave door and not making him a sammich!

SmileForMee 0

# SIX - You fail, epically. x)

haha xD umm ne 1 else think this is fake nd gay?

nood_fml 0

gahh you made me lose the game!!!

nood_fml 0

189, the soviet russia joke was started by a comedian (don't know name) who simply liked Russia. he pretty much meant with it that Russia was different than America. the original i think was "in socialist america, but in soviet Russia law breaks you!!" if imma wrong then I pronounce mahselv a fail

this pic makes me hungery

you did what!?!?!?

you have no idea.

//hat a dick.

lol never slam any door

his dad needs a smoke .

No, OP needs to learn to not slam doors that aren't his.

In Sovjet russia, door slams you! anti flooooood

in soviet russia, bad joke tells you! ilafp

in soviet Russia you guys are dirty pirate hookers

wow .. better startvlooking for a new place then xD nah!

Hmm. Someone was in a bad mood. Sorry OP.

blindyblonde13 0

sean you shoulda joined the convo under comment #10.

No I felt like being different.

ispitflames 3

Agreeed 8 is bangin' !

#8 lookin good :) just sayin

blindyblonde13 0

haha well, sean, congrats! you were special! emphasis on the WERE haha two other people commented about her lookss.

blindyblonde13 0

sorry sean:( and lmao @ jimmy:D

honeybee366 0

sounds like my mom.

ispitflames 3

oh mannn #8 looksss goood

bballer55 0

dude i disagree u must be gay O-o

#38 Agreed. #8 is really pretty. :)

bballer55 0

oops srry thought u said she looks bad. she is pretty.... * smacks forehead * coulda had a V8

ispitflames 3

you trippinnn

blindyblonde13 0

you guys had this whole convo about her and it wasnt even under her original comment.. hahaha

ispitflames 3

Hahah yea I just noticed that

blindyblonde13 0

oh well haha its okay(: although she probally will never knoww... q

ispitflames 3

Woooooo I'm on her list of hotties! Suckkkk it bitchsss ( I hope your not a old man mows)

eehizle 0

^ pfft. what are you, 12? fail.

407 pfft you are a dirty pirate hooker

AbcAbcAbcAbcAbcA 0


blindyblonde13 0

mother fucker yous a pussy ass hoe you son of a bitch!! am i cool now too?.... cursing makes you sound stupid #11.

Yes you're cool now!

blindyblonde13 0

yes!!! success! be jealous all you fucking mothaaaaa fuckaaaaaas hahaha jk.. cursing is bad..

well I guess u deserve it

Awwwww, are your cycles synced? I know a good solution. You and your dad sit down with a bucket of ice cream and a Lifetime movie. Cry it out, man, cry it out.

I always heart your comments Intoxicunt!

RedPillSucks 31

Toxi, Is that what it takes? Who's been hiding this info? *whips out the $30 bucket of Cherry Garcia*

TCB12 0

lol my dad held a knife upto my throat for slamming the microwave door too

blindyblonde13 0

zoutie, i am a little worried about this too...