Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, my husband came home and groped my ass, so I tossed cold water into his face to make him back off. He's now acting like I sprayed him with toxic acid waste now. What a baby. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML
Today, my soon-to-be-ex husband threw an epic tantrum, with crying, snotty nose, throwing himself on the floor, grabbing me by my feet, begging me not to leave him, and that he’s “so sorry” after I confronted him about the sexts and nudes he’s been sending to another woman. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
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Top comments
Tempuser117 2
Rule #2 Double Tap. Might want to punch him again just in case.
redbluegreen 41
I have no idea on how to respong either.
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Comments (92)
savvy_suzy 0
What a dysfunctional relationship. You for sobbing, being startled by your husband, and punching him??? And him for responding with the domestic abuse bollocks. I hope you don't have children together because it does not sound like this is a keeper relationship. And hey, him not talking to you eliminates the whole scaring you acting like a zombie weird behaviour. Look on the bright side.
skittle68 0
Sounds like they are perfect for each other- HUGE overreactions on both parts
oneyedcat 0
well, trying to scare someone is also abusive, so you can tell him he started it.
Turkelton_fml 1
You are both *******
richmonsoon 3
Tell him you were defending yourself against what you thought was an apparent case of T-Virus infection, and next time it'll be project Alice kicking his ass.
5t3ff1k4h 47
80 - I suppose you don't express emotion then, eh? Another common situation I've seen with almost everyone I know: people tend to hold in their emotions longer than they should, thus building the emotions up so much so that they all come out at once, at the most inopportune times.
drptLife 0
Awesome... This is so funny I'm going to try it with my gf
homiezz 0
Really? Why did you punch him?
chetchatter 5
lmfao but FYL
perez758 2
lol