Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, my husband came home and groped my ass, so I tossed cold water into his face to make him back off. He's now acting like I sprayed him with toxic acid waste now. What a baby. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML
Today, my soon-to-be-ex husband threw an epic tantrum, with crying, snotty nose, throwing himself on the floor, grabbing me by my feet, begging me not to leave him, and that he’s “so sorry” after I confronted him about the sexts and nudes he’s been sending to another woman. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
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Top comments
Tempuser117 2
Rule #2 Double Tap. Might want to punch him again just in case.
redbluegreen 41
I have no idea on how to respong either.
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Comments (92)
AceArctic 4
I always felt screamo was the best for that situation. FEEL THE BURN!!!
incomple 0
Well that BITES! Your relationships DEAD now.
MuchDance90s 0
don't get married at the age of eighteen
5t3ff1k4h 47
So, why was your first reaction to punch him?
gibson45 0
She was scared, so natural instinct dictates that we will ether fight when we are frightend or flight. Hince are fight or flight reflex.
Namenlos_fml 20
Well look at the bright side: in a zombie apocalypse, you'll do just fine. XD
NorfolkDude 2
This literally made me lol. He's just giving you the silence treatment for punching him. Ideally you can make it up by pretending to be a zombie and give him a tickle.
theannonymousone 0
She needs to woman up and stop being such a dick...
lola_94 0
your both puss's you for screaming, punching and then sobbing.... he was your husband, what did you think he was gonna rape you?? and him for giving you the silent treatment after getting punched.... seriously grow a pair
5t3ff1k4h 47
I wouldn't joke about rape, Miss Kardashian.
knibbsy 4
Why not? People joke about murder, genocide, torture, kidnapping, etc. all the time with no serious backlash.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I don't particularly agree with that, either. Some people are sensitive to certain topics.
Plaasmaa 4
Well unfortunately this is the Internet, so you should realize that if someone doesn't agree with your opinion, then they really don't give a **** about what you have to say.
abasio 1
My god you are both retarded. Him for overreacting to your punch and you for being so startled by a zombie impression. You two losers deserve each other.
Hughmadd 0
38, there was an FML where a man instinctively punched his wife, because she scared him in the dark, and all the comments were about the same as these...