Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
This ain't working out
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Nice husband you've got there…
Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
No fun allowed
Today, my husband came home and groped my ass, so I tossed cold water into his face to make him back off. He's now acting like I sprayed him with toxic acid waste now. What a baby. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Explain this
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Cancel the wedding
Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML
Hit the road Jack
Today, my soon-to-be-ex husband threw an epic tantrum, with crying, snotty nose, throwing himself on the floor, grabbing me by my feet, begging me not to leave him, and that he’s “so sorry” after I confronted him about the sexts and nudes he’s been sending to another woman. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Top comments
Tempuser117 2
Rule #2 Double Tap. Might want to punch him again just in case.
redbluegreen 41
I have no idea on how to respong either.
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Comments (92)
Tacomuncher 5
Did you at least pick up a 2X points before punching him? Melee kills also give the most points.
fambrosio 0
Head shots!
Whydoyouask 11
or maybe an insta-kill. That would of knocked him out right there
DocBastard 40
MzDisturbedOne - I'm going to assume for the moment that you meant "respond," despite the fact that the "g" is two letters over from "d" on the keyboard. A simple typo is nothing particularly noteworthy. That aside, if you don't know how to respond, then don't. Don't feel that you HAVE to comment just because you're the first commenter. I guess I should thank you for not saying "FIRST LOLOLOL" but I almost feel that your comment is worse. These are the times when I wish I were a moderator so I could change your comment to "I love shoving candlesticks up my ass while listening to Beethoven's Fifth."
killabee 0
I've been known to break into hysterics when overwhelmed with a sudden flux of emotions, and I'm generally an extremely reserved person. Fear, suprise, anger, regret, tears. Once someone scared me, then yelled at me to get my ass in the house, then when I went inside my whole family yelled "Happy Birthday!" I cried for like 5 minutes. :) It's not unreasonable.
gomerturd 1
if he had hit you he'd be in jail. I hope he divorces you
InfiniteSecret 20
It could've been a reflex. When some people are startled with something rapidly moving towards them they hit whatever it is to get it away from them. The OP could've just reacted that way. By the sounds of it, it was a reflex hit rather than a domestic abuse hit
11jackson11 0
Double tap and it wouldn't have happened...
madgolden 0
Oh Zombieland . . . ;D Win !
Jewelofagal 2
Fan of The Walking Dead series, is he?
jltstephens 0
sounds like u meant to punch him and that was just an excuse to do it.
InfiniteSecret 20
Seriously, the husbands scared the living day lights out of his wife and you are blaming her for how she reacted.
starile 20
That's how I spend a relaxing evening at home!
tykiej 0
Tell your husband to pull the dick out of his ass and grow the **** up.
RedPillSucks 33
You too, I thought it was just me. Although Prekofiev makes things feel much better.