Intimacy: Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to...

By Evra - 16/04/2015 05:04 - United States

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 248

You deserved it 6 119

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Same thing different taste

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 20:01

Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 426

You deserved it 184

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 545

You deserved it 3 800

It's a gas gas gas

By Anonymous - 12/05/2021 10:01 - United States - Schertz

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 277

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 831

You deserved it 4 379

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 900

You deserved it 3 081

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 488

You deserved it 11 066

Starfish

By WhyBother - 21/02/2021 05:02

Today, while having sex with my husband, I was tired so a lot more of a starfish than I usually am. My husband came sooner and harder than he ever had, and declared it the best sex we've had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 323

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 763

You deserved it 5 146

By naughtymommy0317 - 20/06/2013 08:47 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 101

You deserved it 5 915

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 140

You deserved it 5 965

Charles900 16

Thursday 16 April 2015 15:07

I'd give him an "A" for effort.

tehman117 21

Thursday 16 April 2015 15:06

it's the tbought that counts.

Comments

dkrueges 9

Thursday 16 April 2015 19:41

Atalia 17

Thursday 16 April 2015 19:53

Hey at least he tried...

vlad79 9

Thursday 16 April 2015 19:56

hell, at least he kept at it. most would have just rolled off and went to sleep

DragonWolf16000 17

Thursday 16 April 2015 20:16

At least he tried. Some don't continue after.

yosico22 16

Thursday 16 April 2015 21:39

Why'd to take so long? And do you have timer by your bed because "7 minutes" is such a precise number.

96isntassexyas69 20

Thursday 16 April 2015 22:36

Aww, sorry OP. At least he tried.

TwiztedYuri 9

Thursday 16 April 2015 22:39

I think you tried to hard to make a funny

TheBelt 19

Thursday 16 April 2015 22:49

At least he was satisfied.

MadJessTic 29

Thursday 16 April 2015 23:05

At least he tried...

rinnybell210 16

Thursday 16 April 2015 23:13

You let him keep going for seven minutes? Was that not uncomfortable for him?

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The Top

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 800

You deserved it 21 260

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 107 047

The Top

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 837

You deserved it 2 279

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 232

You deserved it 2 462

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 863

You deserved it 13 758

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 991

You deserved it 68 570

Today, I got accepted to the North America Scholar Consortium as a Member of the Highest Honor, which I had applied for a few weeks ago. Happy to be able to add something good to my resume, I called my mom excitedly, and then Googled it to ascertain the level of prestige. Turns out it's a scam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 352

You deserved it 28 533

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 999

You deserved it 2 009