Sex and Intimacy: You've tried this before, right? - FML

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 537

You deserved it 3 798

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 974

You deserved it 5 500

By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 653

You deserved it 15 179

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 538

You deserved it 4 560

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 346

You deserved it 328

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 935

You deserved it 5 418

By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Spicy

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 489

You deserved it 11 353

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 384

You deserved it 6 023

Not feeling it

By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Spicy

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 770

You deserved it 1 350

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Spicy

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 907

You deserved it 10 178

By Evra - 16/04/2015 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 246

You deserved it 6 118

Next

Top comments

xGet_Over_It 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 5:38

what the hell is this? 16 year olds talking about their "boyfriends" erected penis?

wags883 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:29

my boyfriend tries that too. by the time the tips in he's hard as a rock :)

Comments

mcal2013 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

budsmoker 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 3:23

The man cant be blamed in this situation, he was obviously "unerected" for a reason...hes just a dumbass for trying to put it in.....terrible couple.

LoudAsThunder 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 23:36

Your name itself is an epic win.

whoisthisgirl 4

Monday 17 January 2011 2:27

it's epically stupid.

GanjAxZermA 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:10

wow..

alisonyankee 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:11

omg lol

dangletsbang21 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:14

epic failllll

LemonMan 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:14

Lmafo

KingDingALing 9

Wednesday 27 January 2010 3:17

how exactly do u "Lmafo"? do u "laugh my ass ******* off"?

jayhv 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:17

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Shenannigoats 16

Monday 9 July 2012 3:08

Im not sure I quite understand your logic, there..

SeeBrendenBurn 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:20

Seventh, and I do that with my girlfriend all of the time. It's quite fun.

furderer 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:25

what happened after , do tell o.0

Starfire22 5

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:27

I think you may need to have a heart to heart with him, asap!

wags883 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:29

my boyfriend tries that too. by the time the tips in he's hard as a rock :)

alicia_was_here 3

Sunday 3 January 2010 2:48

lol he has to have contact to get hard? does he have a problem or is he just not attracted to you? my (ex) would get hard the minute he realized whats comming(:

butterflyhearts 0

Monday 4 January 2010 0:26

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

xGet_Over_It 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 5:38

what the hell is this? 16 year olds talking about their "boyfriends" erected penis?

__doge__ 15

Thursday 28 July 2016 11:42

Bitch alert...

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 513

You deserved it 7 847

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 649

You deserved it 4 740

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 320

You deserved it 268 825

Today, I found out that a new coworker was spreading false rumours about me. I confronted her. and she basically ran to management and said I intimidated her even though other colleagues discredited her claims. She now continues spreading the rumours with her fake intimidation charges on top of it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 85

Today, upon being asked to name all the planets, I had to sing along to a Lady Gaga song in my head to remember them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 239

You deserved it 12 533

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 560

You deserved it 4 475

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 055

You deserved it 3 747