Sex and Intimacy: You've tried this before, right? - FML

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 3 808

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Same thing different taste

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 043

You deserved it 5 523

By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 712

You deserved it 15 192

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 572

You deserved it 4 582

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 334

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 953

You deserved it 5 421

By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Spicy

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 513

You deserved it 11 371

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 410

You deserved it 6 032

Not feeling it

By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Spicy

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 835

You deserved it 1 365

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Spicy

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 933

You deserved it 10 195

By Evra - 16/04/2015 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 269

You deserved it 6 124

Next

Top comments

xGet_Over_It 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 5:38

what the hell is this? 16 year olds talking about their "boyfriends" erected penis?

wags883 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:29

my boyfriend tries that too. by the time the tips in he's hard as a rock :)

Comments

mcal2013 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

budsmoker 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 3:23

The man cant be blamed in this situation, he was obviously "unerected" for a reason...hes just a dumbass for trying to put it in.....terrible couple.

LoudAsThunder 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 23:36

Your name itself is an epic win.

whoisthisgirl 4

Monday 17 January 2011 2:27

it's epically stupid.

GanjAxZermA 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:10

wow..

alisonyankee 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:11

omg lol

dangletsbang21 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:14

epic failllll

LemonMan 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:14

Lmafo

KingDingALing 9

Wednesday 27 January 2010 3:17

how exactly do u "Lmafo"? do u "laugh my ass ******* off"?

jayhv 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:17

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Shenannigoats 16

Monday 9 July 2012 3:08

Im not sure I quite understand your logic, there..

SeeBrendenBurn 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:20

Seventh, and I do that with my girlfriend all of the time. It's quite fun.

furderer 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:25

what happened after , do tell o.0

Starfire22 5

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:27

I think you may need to have a heart to heart with him, asap!

wags883 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:29

my boyfriend tries that too. by the time the tips in he's hard as a rock :)

alicia_was_here 3

Sunday 3 January 2010 2:48

lol he has to have contact to get hard? does he have a problem or is he just not attracted to you? my (ex) would get hard the minute he realized whats comming(:

butterflyhearts 0

Monday 4 January 2010 0:26

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

xGet_Over_It 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 5:38

what the hell is this? 16 year olds talking about their "boyfriends" erected penis?

__doge__ 15

Thursday 28 July 2016 11:42

Bitch alert...

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 097

You deserved it 7 572

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 327

You deserved it 41 013

The Top

Today, I was the best man at my longtime friend’s wedding. I got so into talking about our shared memories over the years that I accidentally called his bride by his ex-girlfriend’s name at the end of my toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 536

Today, my Facebook account is deactivated and I don't think they are going to give me my account balance of $855 on Marketplace. So, I'm out my items, shipping costs and the profit I would have made. Facebook Marketplace is a scam. I'm so depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 226

Today, I ran into one of my exes, and she seemed straight up shocked to see me. She said, "OH MY GOD! You're alive?" like I was a suicide risk or something. Nope, turns out her last 3 boyfriends before me were so unstable that when she cheated on them, they killed themselves shortly after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 97

Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 948

You deserved it 7 006

Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 189

You deserved it 33 636

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 254

You deserved it 7 144