By anonymous - 24/04/2012 18:18 - United States

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 160
You deserved it 3 319

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Thats when you slap him and take all his money.


thejewishfuhrer 17

Mama always told me that man was no good.

Tell him you can't because your busy with your boyfriend. After all, you're BOTH emotionally separated, right?

boxbrandon11 20

Skip the brother, sleep with his sister!

OhDearBetrayal 25

Hmm, I think it would be appropriate to play the song "Goodbye Earl" in OP's home for awhile to get her in the mood to...settle things.

Or use the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion. The hottest peppers in the world.

It's also known as the Trinidad Butch-T Pepper, which IS the hottest pepper in the world. But I suppose the Naga Jolokia (Ghost chili) would suffice as well.

Donat96 20

That man obviously excels at logic.

NiecyLuv365 1

Yuh dumb for still doing anything for him, he cud get the butter-finger and a Gud bye.

BeatifulPenguin 4

Do I hear a RESTRAINING ORDER getting signed!?!?

94 - you don't really understand the purpose and necessary circumstances behind a restraining order, do you?

I think my brain died for reading #91's butchered English.

TheElderTROLLZ 15

91 - Cud and gud? The ****? And why is "gud" capitalized?

29, if we're going to play dirty OP should just have a little orgy with his family! How do you like those apples Mr Be-My-Housewife?

That's "Ebonics"...Nobody else understands it, either.

138-Not even. Ebonics is at least remotely decipherable. I don't even know what the **** this is. I think they skipped the first grade...and second...and third....hell, they probably skipped elementary school entirely.

Your picture goes perfectly with your comment, good madam :)

Why the hell is everyone in FML obsessed with grammar ?? The ****.

itsame0987 18

24. Don't kill him just make him wish he was dead by adding laxatives to every meal. Good mood killer for when he goes to her place, and spends the night on the toilet.

Colonel_Lexi 18

Dafuq did I just read? (ಠ_ಠ)

Idonebeenhad 17

I wonder how the hell that went through his mind

TrollisMe 5

He ran into my knife...he ran into my knife 10 times.

204- I am no grammar nazi either, and I like to think that my grammar is at an average level. I just really do wonder why people on this website care about it so much. Like why is their life so deeply concentrated on the analysis of grammar. To me ( not trying to hurt anyones feelings), this is just a website. Get a life and stop criticizing others, and people should worry about their own personal problems. Just saying. Like really I want somebody to explain to me why is grammar so important to them on this website. I don't see people going around spell checking Facebook on people's wall. Why here and not there ??

Can't we all just love each other.... ;)

Cutieday101 0

Thats how she speaks dumb ass. Im pretty sure from reading her comment shed some type of west indies or carribean orginated person. Thats like telling someone they "speak wrong" when theyre talkingvin their native tongue. Tf?

It's done on a ton of websites. This one is just of many. My only issue with it are the people who call others 'stupid/dumb' and cannot even spell the insult right to begin with. That, and I have personally come across a few people who honestly believed they were doing it right, since their teachers never corrected their spelling in real life. Oh, and the infamous rage that is to be had when the ones who cannot spell or use decent grammar get mad when you do not take their arguments/replies seriously. Because eff grammar and spelling on the internet.

52, 66, or you know, regular ones, just a bunch of them.

*anyone's. You need an apostrophe there.

69 likes, I can't ruin that with another like. ;)

Nwthatzfunny 9

So what is the "something" you want her to do? Since the only way to not do nothing is to DO something,

No, do something for him. Cook all his food with cyanide. Once you go to the drugstore, tell the pharmacist you have a special prescription.

I bet that Nwthatzfunny was not aware of that. How kind and selfless of you to point it out to him. After all, who doesn't want to learn to use correct grammar at all times, even when posting a quick comment on an internet site?

TheDrifter 23

The selfless grammar Nazis, raising awareness of the mental decay of society, one post at a time.

TheElderTROLLZ 15

Have a sexy fight with his girlfriend where you rip each others clothes off piece by piece.

124- that would just benefit him by arousing him...

124 that was completely and totally useless advice but still made my day

Double negative = you're dumb "don't do nothing" = " do something"

74- are you Where Is Waldo's wife :o?

Thats when you slap him and take all his money.

Airman1988 9

I will agree that this particular guy sounds like an ass but too many women carry the mentality that when they get divorced the man owes them the world. They do the same crap with kids. I know too many guys working several jobs just to be able to survive in poverty and pay support, and too many women who purposely get several baby daddies and live if child support and welfare without even trying to work

siickman 7

The sad part is that he is telling the truth^ but no one wants to admit it...

gurly98 13

This is when you find someone else

#18 Although your comment has some truth to it, the men who are paying child support made a conscious decision to sleep with the woman who they're paying child support to. Therefore, if husband and wife gets divorced, then he NEEDS to pay child support no matter what. Or, if the husband gets custody of the children, then the wife needs to do it. No matter who's paying it, they need to do it by any means possible, even if it means getting two, three jobs.

My dad is refusing to pay child support. And he's trying to take all my moms money. Kinda runs with both genders.

Airman1988 9

Hey 65 I know several fathers who have custody and get no support including myself, the court simply doesn't enforce it when the tables are turned. I am in no way against child support, and I agree that becoming a father has responsiblities. It's a two way street tho, and it takes 2 to conceive a child. I was more refering to the mothers that purposely live off support with no effort to work, happy to live off the guy working to death, who never sees his kids because he works to death. Yes it does happen, our system has flaws and more of them work in favor of mothers. only the good fathers discover that tho and usually when they themselves are dealing with a bad mother.

Airman1988 9

Also I think in cases where the father sees the kid as much as the mother, takes care of them just as much, cases where physical custody could be either parent. Cases where both parents pay for clothes, food, bills, etc that child support should wash out, too often that's not the case tho. Sadly I know a guy who's daughter lives with him full time, through court and everything, and he still pays the mother child support! Things like that quite simply should never happen.

107, you sound like a massive woman hater. Your 23, chill out you've got your whole life ahead of you, just because you got jerked over doesn't make all women money stealing devils. I think you should be picking this bone with your ex, not the FML community.

#127 I don't think he sounds "like a massive woman hater." He's just saying that the court system is biased in favor of women when it comes to custody and child support, and he's right. But women get screwed in far worse ways in cases of rape or domestic violence where the perp gets off completely.

...or with just a slap on the wrist, even when there's physical evidence but no witness.

the point seems to be that people get screwed all the time. Drop some acid in his food and make a video of the consequence. Have a laugh!

#107 Oh, I agree with you. It's definitely a two way street. It's sad that the same laws aren't enforced with both men and women. I wasn't in anyway disagreeing with you; I was just saying that no matter who the child stays with, whether it be the mother or the father, the other should pay child support no matter what because the child didn't ask to be there, and doesn't deserve any kind of...negativity. Understand what I'm getting at? And 127, how does he sound like a "massive woman hater"? He's just putting in his experience and saying how he thinks our system is a little unjust. That doesn't make him a woman hater, it makes him opinionated, which is perfectly fine.

Airman1988 9

I'm not a woman hater, more a hater of the system. I guess it just sucks when you grow up learning about the perfect American justice system and grow up and learn how flawed it is. I agree in most cases that support should go to the parent the child lives with, there are a few cases where custody is equaly split as well as support costs and time etc, becomes harder when they are in school or someone moves. I guess in the end seperation with kids involved makes for some sad sacrifices. I comment on FMLs as I see fit and if you don't like it you don't read it or reply but hey the same privelage extends to you its called freedom of speech.

Yeah 3 you were right except for the part about taking his money he may be an ass but everyone's feelings matter even if the guy is a MASSIVE DOUCHE.

Sadly, all this is true. It also sucks because women are the only ones that can do this. We're using a gift, and turning it into a money making machine. Guys can't do that. They can just face the after math.

And how long did it take from that moment until your hand met his face?

4-Not too long because it sounds like his face really wanted to hit her fist.

Redoxx_fml 22

If they have kids I hope they didn't inherit their father's brains

OhDearBetrayal 25

I would suggest getting divorced, but he sounds like such a swell guy. Poison it is.

Or kick him in the junk so hard he can't get it up for his new girlfriend. And then divorce him taking all his money. No girl will want him then.

jojimugo 20

Am thinking more like sleeping with his brother then poison

Say sure, and when he's on a date with her, pack up, take half his shit, and leave

Lauren10102 3

Take his money, poke holes in his condoms, leave all his shit.

Are you HAL now? I'm afraid there can be only one, jasonf6

How does he not see what's wrong with this situation? Clearly he's not worth it...

TheElderTROLLZ 15

He has the mind of a twelve-year-old.

He always needs a woman to mother him. His next ***** will take on that role when OP kicks him to the curb. This is why I'll ensure my man shares house duties; I'm mothering nobody, but my kids.

You must make good food! Take it as a compliment.

So, the husband who wants to keep his wife just to serve him, should be considered a compliment? You're wrong, bro.

No her husbands just a dick seeing how much his now ex-wife is a push over , hes takeing the piss outta u op dont let him !!!

while youre cleaning, take all his stuff and throw it in a dumpster. tell him you were just spring cleaning. :)

This comment lacks 'logic and common sense'.

Torva_fml 16

No, it doesn't. It makes perfect sense.

And after that, you put him in the garbage to support your point. :)

195- what? that comment doesn't even make sense. 229- oh definitely didn't think of that, hopefully OP's husband is light or she's strong enough to lift him and throw him in, men can be heavy. :)

I read your bio about you saying your comments have logic and common sense THUS the quotation marks. And 196 or 'torva' or whatever, how does it make perfect sense? I'm oh so eager to find out.