Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Add a comment
Top comments
COMMENTS
By
spamtastic404
| 0
lol maybe you shouldve asked her what she had to do?
Reply
v1kt4r
| 13
Ok wanted to be up, :D :D that said
what the fuck did u think she was going to do wen she sat on the toilet, what u think girls throw up from their ass????
what the fuck did u think she was going to do wen she sat on the toilet, what u think girls throw up from their ass????
Reply
Niiro13
| 0
He didn't say she sat on the toilet. Heck if she was drunk she might have leaned forward towards the toilet like she was about to throw up then, yeah.
Reply
Mirequetz
| 6
Gross, I'd never take a crap in front of my boyfriend and we live together. There are some things you just don't do with someone else in the room.
Reply
saviisneat
| 0
That's your problem. Eventually it gets to the point where you do everything in front of each other. I feel bad for all of yall who think this is gross. Just wait till your married and you walk in on your wife changing her tampon or something. Toughen up.
Reply
NumbaFour
| 3
I agree 187. Other than sex related tasks both sexs do the same thing.
By
protwtf
| 0
Girls poop?
Reply
bballboy91
| 0
Damn! You beat me to it!
Reply
configurator
| 0
No. Which is proof that this FML is fake.
Reply
MR_Anderson
| 4
apparently "Everybody Poops" its a book
Reply
ILIEKGIRLS
| 5
well there goes the 'stick it in her pooper' line.
Reply
turnedoffTVgrey
| 0
Girls poop, but we only poop rainbows and skittles and unicorns.
Reply
perdix
| 29
Just because "Everybody Poops" is a book doesn't make it true. It's just propaganda.
Come on, Sarah Palin wrote a book. She never mentions pooping once. Ipso facto, girls don't poop.
Come on, Sarah Palin wrote a book. She never mentions pooping once. Ipso facto, girls don't poop.
Reply
falconpunch125
| 0
I know pooping skittles comes in for a handy snack later
Reply
donkey_hang_down
| 2
I eat healthy, what about the corn/peanuts?
Reply
Coocumber
| 0
don't forget the glitter and strawberry icecream....but thats only on a good day =D
Reply
alexxpro
| 0
no shiet
Reply
yaikwhed
| 6
then who poops the gold at the end of the rainbow? I know girls poop. you'd have to if you ate as much as them :P
Reply
tpike1296
| 11
76: sarah palin is a girl???? WOW......I just learned something!
By
chottu
| 16
I pity you xD
Reply
TotalStar
| 0
YDI for having a gross girlfriend. Dump her.
Reply
xNephilim
| 18
She was drunk, meaning she had no control over her actions. I bet that if she'd been sober, she wouldn't have done it.
Plus, pooping ain't gross. It's natural. Sure, it's not exactly seductive, but come on. Stop being a pussy and grow a pair.
Plus, pooping ain't gross. It's natural. Sure, it's not exactly seductive, but come on. Stop being a pussy and grow a pair.
Reply
candyland13
| 6
And his horrible use of commas.
By
DameGreyWulf
| 0
I swear the last sentence said "I can't look at her vagina the same ever again"
[shakes head, blinks eyes several times]
Anyway, you're going to hear a lot of crap (haha) about how it's only natural and girls do poop etc etc
But really, I understand. Nobody wants to think about their significant other defecating, or anyone at all for that matter, unless they're into that kind of thing. It's a rather awkward situation to stand and watch, especially when it's smelly.
Now, this could be a plus though... she is comfortable enough to let you... er, witness that?
Obviously it could also be the booze though.
[shakes head, blinks eyes several times]
Anyway, you're going to hear a lot of crap (haha) about how it's only natural and girls do poop etc etc
But really, I understand. Nobody wants to think about their significant other defecating, or anyone at all for that matter, unless they're into that kind of thing. It's a rather awkward situation to stand and watch, especially when it's smelly.
Now, this could be a plus though... she is comfortable enough to let you... er, witness that?
Obviously it could also be the booze though.
Reply
LilaBear
| 1
...are you serious? "Nobody wants to think about their significant other defecating... unless they're into that kind of thing."
Um, when you're married and/or living with someone, you get over it. Hubby and I walk in on each other on the toilet all the time to get something out of the bathroom or whatever. Really no big deal. Especially if the other person is sick or drunk and you know they can't control whatever's going on.
Um, when you're married and/or living with someone, you get over it. Hubby and I walk in on each other on the toilet all the time to get something out of the bathroom or whatever. Really no big deal. Especially if the other person is sick or drunk and you know they can't control whatever's going on.
Reply
DDDennis
| 0
that is..gross. It kills the attraction to see the other person taking a "monstrous dump". That's gross. I don't want to see ANYONE take a dump, especially not my girlfriend.
Reply
wiener_lover
| 0
There are some things you should never do in front of your significant other. I don't care if you've been together 50 years. There is a such thing as being too comfortable. First you start crapping in front of each other. Next thing you know, you're wearing tapered sweatpants and a snuggie every day, you've got crumbs all over your snuggie, no makeup, haven't showered or done your hair, etc
Reply
Lawlipop
| 3
I agree with the being too comfortable part... but what's wrong with not wearing makeup? |:
Reply
amazingkate
| 0
yeah, it's funny that wearing a snuggie and not wearing makeup is the same level of deterioration. i also think it's funny that the guy thinks vomit is cute but poo is detestable.
Reply
RufusCade
| 7
#86, that was worst load of BS I've read today. I agree that it is not the most satisfying moment of my life when I was in the shower and my wife enters the bathroom in urgent need due to severe diarreah, but that is not something that comes into mind when I'm with her. This must be the first time I think of it in 10 yrs.
Too comfortable? My ass! Being comfortable with someone has nothing to do with what your wear. It is a state of mind where you can be your own self. Well, of course, if you're sloppy, I guess that what you talk about could happen, but I couldn't say really. I don't know you. But it is still not "too comfortable", just "comfortable".
Too comfortable? My ass! Being comfortable with someone has nothing to do with what your wear. It is a state of mind where you can be your own self. Well, of course, if you're sloppy, I guess that what you talk about could happen, but I couldn't say really. I don't know you. But it is still not "too comfortable", just "comfortable".
Reply
DameGreyWulf
| 0
Lila, nobody wants to THINK ABOUT creating waste products, not that nobody wants it to ever happen. How often do you think about the people about you, and yourself even, pooping, unless you have to go? It's gross to poop in front of other people in general. Yes, you can reach a level of comfort that you don't mind, and you know what? That's great, that's fine, but don't go bitching at someone because they don't want to watch people poop (not sit in the shower, mind you, but actually stand and watch).
And I know she's drunk and can't help it. I never said anything to the contrary.
As for the "too comfortable" thing, I actually agree with it in /a certain degree/. It goes hand-in-hand with the "letting yourself go" thing that some people do in marriage. They think "okay, I love this person, they love me, we're together, so it's okay if I don't take a shower today/if I eat this whole cake myself" - I would call that a sort of "too comfortable."
And I know she's drunk and can't help it. I never said anything to the contrary.
As for the "too comfortable" thing, I actually agree with it in /a certain degree/. It goes hand-in-hand with the "letting yourself go" thing that some people do in marriage. They think "okay, I love this person, they love me, we're together, so it's okay if I don't take a shower today/if I eat this whole cake myself" - I would call that a sort of "too comfortable."
Reply
moonshine_bek
| 2
Pooping in front of each other completely kills the mistique, along with farting, peeing, nose picking etc. Some things should be just left to when you are alone, no matter how much the other person loves you and is comfortable with you.
By
theanonymoose
| 3
YDI for not being able to handle it. People crap. It's no big deal. Get a grip and get over it.
Reply
HP_22_fml
| 0
yeah you're a jerk
Reply
No_Heart
| 0
Yeah I agree with these people, enless your some kind of shallow jerk this should make you at least twice as attracted her.
By
TastyCookieJar
| 0
Suck it up.
But your life sucks anyways.
But your life sucks anyways.
Reply
derschadenfreude
| 5
6, I really hope that pun was intentional. If it was, you have a heap big plate of win.
By
Ray_Scott
| 0
It's not love until you know she poops and you still want to have sex with her.
By
kile88
| 2
or maybe you couldve jst gotten the fuck over it she's your gf eventually you'll be able to do that in front of each other not drunk. she needed help it can only come out two ways and they're both gross and stink so you're sad.
By
protwtf
| 0
If my gf ever made any referance to defacation she would be dumped on the spot. Girls don't poop, or fart, it's a proven scientific fact. Dr. Rameriz Estaban Gonzalez the famed Gastoenterologist studied this topic in depth many years ago. His hypothesis being that a females body does not support defacation; therefore they rather piss shit out of their vagina. This is ofcourse how the female body operates, and any other person who says otherwise is completely ignorant.
Reply
FerrariCake
| 2
"studied this topic in depth"
how deep were his studies exactly?
how deep were his studies exactly?
Reply
protwtf
| 0
very deep........
Reply
DameGreyWulf
| 0
You forgot queefing.
Reply
LeCielNousAide
| 7
any anatomy or biology class would tell you otherwise. i'm a girl (as much as guys like to think i'm one of them) and i happen to know that yes, we do shit. i don't get why guys think girls doing something natural is revolting (or refuse to believe it) but yet you expect us to put our mouths on something you piss out of. stop being so immature and get the fuck over it.
Reply
thank you!!
Reply
audreyfotc
| 0
he's...joking
Reply
greengrass12
| 0
bahahaha do you take this guy seriously
Reply
capricaz
| 0
dude he's joking calm down ;)
Reply
wiener_lover
| 0
so....you'd rather girls poop out their vag?
Reply
8trickster8
| 0
The gullibility of people on the internet never ceases to amaze me. Unless of course the people who took his comment seriously actually knew he was joking and are really just messing with the people who think they're being serious. OH FUCK
Reply
blondeONblonde13
| 0
OMG. total hero. ahaha
Reply
bakayaro_fml
| 0
how did you get blowjobs out of poop?? guess what... girls also want us to put our mouths onto something they pee out of too. (or at least near it)
By
protwtf
| 0
With that said, a girls asshole is purely an instrument for which men like to fuck.
Reply
bringtheheat22
| 0
anal FTW
Reply
StaticDown
| 0
And you sound like an asshole... Girls shit too... It's very normal and natural... idk about your 'source' but it's VERY wrong. Get used to it. I won't make a guy watch me shit, what I think the above poster was trying to say that he'll be alone cause he'll never find a girl that doesn't shit unless she's extremely unhealthy. I'm most certainly not going to be with a guy that finds it gross that at some point in the day I have to shit even if it's not around him.
Reply
protwtf
| 0
Ever heard of sarcasm lol?
Reply
Skull_300
| 0
You should have gotten out a glass plate and had her serve it up while you held the plate!!! Is her name "Dirty Sanchez?"
[shakes head, blinks eyes several times]
Anyway, you're going to hear a lot of crap (haha) about how it's only natural and girls do poop etc etc
But really, I understand. Nobody wants to think about their significant other defecating, or anyone at all for that matter, unless they're into that kind of thing. It's a rather awkward situation to stand and watch, especially when it's smelly.
Now, this could be a plus though... she is comfortable enough to let you... er, witness that?
Obviously it could also be the booze though.