Congratulations! And hopefully your husband sees things differently than your father

commenting on an fml doesn't make you famous, if this is the case i'm now famous!

Omg it's you! Can i get your autograph?

Who would've thought that fml would make me famous :O I'm only signing for the first 45 minutes, better hurry

let the outside know

Did your husband's grandma try to start a fist fight with you?...

OP, did your husband's grandmother try to start a fight with you?

I bet he'll be sleeping on the couch tonight for that one lol. Don't take it too hard OP. Dads will be dads. And congrats by the way

Why would OP be sleeping on the couch? Would the dad be if anyone?

Maybe you need to reread what I said... The OPs dad is the one who will be sleeping on the couch for the shitty remark...

I just reread it. My bad.

It's all good

Could of been worse, could have been "The first person the police investigate in murder is the spouse. Tells you something about marriage."

I can tell that this will be my favorite comment.

#3, I believe I see a fellow Ifunny user

Woo Ifunny ftw

#24 ???

How do you use "could of" and "could have" in the same post???

That line is practically quoted straight out of a recent ifunny feature, I was under the impression that there was a direct correlation between the two

As for number #68, I am very talented and felt like showing off my skill. As for #71, I was unaware, I have known this joke for years as my dad told it to me once younger. Suppose it did differ from normal dad jokes.

Ahh I see, and I've had some pretty odd dad jokes told to me too so I definitely get it haha

Congrats on getting married, OP!

Was he drinking? Because I'd hate to think he said this sober.

Why does this have so many down votes?

Because OP would clearly state that he was drunk, if he was.

The OP doesn't necessarily have to include that information. If OP posts a follow up, she may say if he was or wasn't drunk.

And I mean he really could have been joking also. I have a lot of family members like that. @52

Hey, at least it wasn't "when the red river flows, take the dirt road"

Yea that kind of just grossed me out.

Yeah, a true sailor also sails the red sea

Just don't forget to "share the load"

Gold wedding bands get heavier over time?? I need to get married and stay loyal for 100 years so that I can make a fortune!

You'd probably be dead in 100 hundred years' time.

I'd say there's a statistical certainty of death within 10,000 years. No "probably" about it.

Well we were talking about 100 and not 10,000. And I wouldn't make bets either way for the next 10,000 years as maybe in 50 years we'll discover immortality ;)

8 I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or if you're really that dim

No, he was being dead serious. Just to be clear, I'm not being sarcastic either.

All replies to my comment are prime examples of why many people have lost faith in humanity. The first half of my comment was overly obvious sarcasm, and the second half was advice. Please use your brain and think before you reply.

Argument overruled for use of "lost faith in humanity". I sentence you to live burial (of thumbs)!!

Could of been worse, could of been "Fuck her right in the pussy"

Why the absolute complete fuck would a dad even say that about his daughter

judging by the FMLs I've read in the past, some fathers might actually do that.

I'm sorry #9 (and everyone else), I know no one here is too much of a stickler for language and I do bite my tongue often as the down votes damage my sense of self worth. It's "could have", "would have" or "could've", "would've" in the contracted form. I let #3 slide on by but my tongue was about to start bleeding.

Someone needs to have a word with their father.