Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
I wonder what she'd say if you gave her butt sex spontaneously out of the blue...
BountyBass 13
the sex must be great
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Comments (102)
Kface_stain 0
and that is how relationships work. well done OP!
ToxicxKitten 9
This made my day. :D
ScuseMePrincess 2
So... Why are you dating her? Believe it or not, there are quiet girls out there.
CallMeHush 1
Either move on or buy a ball gag.
JustinThunder 8
45 - You shouldn't critique someone when you can't even use "it's" correctly. Also, you have no clue who these people are outside of FML, for all you know they could all be getting laid right now. I ******* hate when people insult someone on a personal level OVER A COMPUTER.
bodmonontheblock 0
45 see you wrote like a book, i bet guys run away from you cause you probably never shut up
unfortunate_13 5
thank you 45. if there's a FML about relationship, there's ALWAYS someone replying something like "dude, let her suck your dick!!!omg!1" i fail to see the humour in that.
mrducky5 0
Lol! Now that's funny.
Mitcha857 0
you also fail to see the enjoyment out of getting a *******
toxicmurder109 4
I wonder what she would say if u gave her surprise butt sex