Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
I wonder what she'd say if you gave her butt sex spontaneously out of the blue...
BountyBass 13
the sex must be great
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Comments (102)
tenniscrazy2 6
I honestly think that this FML has the biggest YLS/YDI ratio out of all of the FML's on this website.
hahalaughing 0
aww!please dont tell her that.... i know if i was her i would be crushed!
ramband2009 0
You're a dick-hole. I hope she dumps your sorry ass.
Iellwen 12
Yeah, what an asshole! Him being nice about her being chatty, kissing her to distract her for a few seconde, that's just inhuman. He should just tell her to shut the **** up. That way, they'll get in a fight, she won't shut up and nobody will be happy.
Jakespeed207 4
#133 FTW!
luvfurevr 5
if u dont like her nonstop chattin y u datin her?
MellyLuck1484 7
a lot of girls think that being told to shut up with a kiss, or being stopped from hitting a guy with a strong hug while being told you're loved is extremely romantic. It's like one of those things where everything melts away in your love for this person. It doesn't matter why you do it. It can be a big turn on for some of us.
2kool4yew 5
You're a dick
VcZ91 2
well dobe
hudsonb 6
Q
classicnathan 8
That is messed up...but a good reason ;)
K410 18
Man screw you jackass she's a sweet girl and you're just being selfish. Asses like you get all the girlfriends while actual nice guys get stuck with the crazy bitches -.-