Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
I wonder what she'd say if you gave her butt sex spontaneously out of the blue...
BountyBass 13
the sex must be great
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Comments (102)
shnipe 4
are you dating Jackie berkhart?
nikki9tails 3
lots of people do that don't feel bad lol
pardonski 0
who needs T.V when you have FML?? hold on just a sec while I make some popcorn
Fortitudine 3
Do it more often and you'll get more peace and quiet!
unfortunate_13 5
79, most of my friends are guys, i make a lot of guy jokes myself, but this isn't a guy joke, this is a joke from sex obsessed teenagers who wank every night to random **** they find on the internet. it's overused and predictable. and i'm sorry you don't understand us if we say we want guys to love us for our brain/personality. beauty doesn't stay forever, but atleast we'll still be having a great time with our boyfriends when we're old and not that fresh anymore. but hey, hanging around the mall in mini skirts with your boobs hanging out of your shirt is a lot of fun too! now excuse me, i'm going to have some fun with my boyfriend now, who happens to love the great ******** i give him. he also happens to be not so sexually frustrated that he has to make those childish ******** remarks all the time. if you're going to make a ******* remark, atleast make it funny, as we grown ups do.
bkaneshiro14 0
thanks for that, 90. still, it's important to remember that not ALL people will share your viewpoint. I, for one fully agree with you, (I'm a guy) but other poeple on the Internet might find it humerous to mock whatever you say. oh, and 79? you're using the terms "somewhat mature" and "absolute pussy" interchangably. trust me when I say, they AREN'T.
mzfoxy31 0
Awww, that's a really sweet way of doing that!!! Some guys r asses and just say stfu!
mpclaw 3
you and millions of other guys
fromthesuck 8
your sense of humor is... dare I say it?... unfortunate
kittykat1497 7
wow guys it was just a joke, if you don't like it don't look at it no need to whine about it