Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
I wonder what she'd say if you gave her butt sex spontaneously out of the blue...
BountyBass 13
the sex must be great
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Comments (102)
liquidfireKAN 0
how exactly is "hell" predictable?
mellb_fml 3
My boyfriend talks loads, i might try this :P
Beatlemaniac1964 9
same here xD
Alex94xela 0
to get your bf to stfu just unzip his pants and give him head or something.
patches85 0
that's seriously so weak
mzfoxy31 0
Says the guy with a pic of Spock!!!
nadhirah 4
opposites attract. I don't think you'd want to be with someone who's really quiet. assuming that you're really quiet.
poopydutchman 2
he never said he was quiet, he just wanted some quiet time. maybe she just talks all the time and he wants some time to talk.
sourgirl101 29
So don't tell her. It sounds like a win/win situation to me.(:
tstevenson 0
hahaha nice!
bluegoldfish 7
40- it's crotch, not crouch, if you're going to make a dumb nonsensical joke at least do it right. 37- hell is pretty predictable, there are a few unknowns like what colour tie satan's going to be wearing when you get there but by and large you can pretty much guess its going to be hot and burning and you'll get heatstroke pretty quickly, and then you'll get stuck there for eternity with all the murderers and paedophiles, it's not that hard to work out. 34- i agree with you, some guys (like #40) need to grow up. or just grow a pair for a start, then they might actually have half a chance of getting their sun-starved butts away from their computers so they can get laid like they say they do.
stevenmer3 0
typical woman haha
locacolloca 0
isnt that the reason we all do it??
colonel42 0
I do the same thing to my bf..