By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 00:21 - United States - Matteson

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks 65 304
You deserved it 4 456

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drayloon 50

So you cheated on her with her? Oh ok that makes sense

Well lock the door in case she does.


tootsie68 22

That's kind of bipolar on her part. FYL op

No, I know Bipolar people. Bipolar Is one thing, a severe case of stupidity is another.. Sorry, OP. Dodged a bullet. X.x

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100-you sir, sound like an idiot with that statement.

Stfu all girls go through their period and get mood swings so there for the are bipolar I didn't ask for your Opinion.

You may not have asked for her opinion but you're still an idiot. Bipolar disorder is more than just mood swings.

It pisses me off when people refer to bipolar disorder for every bitchy thing someone does. We are not like that at all.

drayloon 50

So you cheated on her with her? Oh ok that makes sense

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ArielTheMermaid 17

Kind of like that FML where he sent his girlfriend "anonymous" flowers and she dumped him for being less romantic than a stranger

Probably a little overused but "Bitches be Crazy" seems appropriate here..

SalviBarbie 15

I think OP's girlfriend is the one who has the dirty secret in this FML. I mean, cheaters accuse their partner of cheating because of guilt trips. Maybe this was her way of getting rid of you without admitting she's the cheater.

Well lock the door in case she does.

slickchrome 11

Crazy bitches don't use doors

They also don't use windows. Block the chimney and listen for someone trying to tunnel in the basement.

My girlfriend would find it unbelievably romantic if I kissed back. Who else would kiss me awake in my own bed?

they might not have been in his/her bed........

AbstraktThoughts 13

The same roommate who would stick their toe in your mouth while you're sleeping?

yousuck44 11

43- My own brother did that to me when I was sleeping but I repaid the favor with throwing up in his bed :)

umm... I think you may need to talk to your brother...

I would have told her I confirmed her identity already by the way she kisses. Nah, who am I kidding, I don't even have someone to kiss me in the morning

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perdix 29

#6, #12, aw, I'll kiss you both (if you are girls.) If you are not attractive, I might require that you buy me a meal ;)

#66 a drink or 10*

jem970 19

Perdix. Always so selfless.

perdix 29

#75, thank you. And don't forget "reasonably priced." ;)

66. I'm male, but you can still kiss me if you want. I'll buy you a beer.

leogachi 15

Will kiss for beer. Make yourself a sign.

awww that is too cute!!!

MsFML_ 16

Tell her you recognized her lips and kisses & you could never forget them! (;

Or he could let that crazy bitch leave

Barriaultcory 16

A man's logic, never to be understood

Well it's better to find out she's crazy sooner than later.