Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
I wonder what she'd say if you gave her butt sex spontaneously out of the blue...
BountyBass 13
the sex must be great
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Comments (102)
jessxoxo28 5
LOL, im not gonna lie, but that's pretty good. a really sweet way to shut someone up :)
bluegoldfish 7
well this is awkward. seriously, where the **** is #34 to back me up?????? god i dont even remember what the original thing i was arguing over is now. oh yeah, jokes about bjs...meh, all i said was that theyre immature. and they kind of ARE, i mean talking about dicks is a thing little boys are meant to grow out of...but whatever. bye...
JustinThunder 8
So don't bash someone else's sense of humour. Just because you don't appreciate their seemingly childish jokes doesn't mean you should chime in and complain. Grow up and learn to respect other people.
leroy24 0
They would have very interesting stories to tell if that happened out of the blue ;)
spec2662 0
you rock I do the same thing with my gf.
chrisauh 4
But then the woman will get angry and take away his stuff.
imperialtl 12
don't tell her man!
Vampyr145 1
this is one of the times FML needs a like button
Skorne 5
It has a facebook like button
v4extreme 6
that's the best win-win in male-female relationships, duh.
effergirl 0
ew, sicko