Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
I wonder what she'd say if you gave her butt sex spontaneously out of the blue...
BountyBass 13
the sex must be great
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Comments (102)
mrahhhhh 21
The curse of being a good listener.
redbluegreen 41
A quality ball gag can go a long way. Just a suggestion.
JDT1020 0
Hahaha! I approve. If that means anything at all.
vrock 0
Taytay?
BountyBass 13
that's the style of it!
ryrywakaka 0
just tell her you want some alone time then lol
CitrusGirl 0
Some people say a whipped guy is cute. If you're so whipped you can't even express yourself, you need to grow a pair. That's just pathetic.
VulpesFidelis 0
Very true. Even guys with some submissive tendencies, usually can express themselves, and speak their minds.
ILike_Dancing123 19
But you must love her cos you've stayed with her, at least you'll never run out of things to say :L
jedielf 23
Hahah. This is what is known on TVTropes as The Shut Up Kiss. LMFAO
unfortunate_13 5
oh great, another macho sex joke that wasn't predictable as hell. thank you so much for your great contribution to this site!
nephilim241 19
OP = winning the game
Mitcha857 0
34, I get the sense your not a man because obviously you don't get it and the negative thumbs are the proof. It is a great contribution to the site by the way!