Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I took a picture of my knob on my girlfriend's cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
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Top comments
IAmzephyr 22
Your girlfriend is satan.
ukeandfoodislife 19
I don't understand why she would do that... Like I understand that was a joke, but it's just asking for trouble.
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Comments (126)
talking_toilet 19
Well what did your mom say?
earljonez 22
That'd be embarrassing as a mother ******
ukeandfoodislife 19
I know you were trying to be punny, but please, for your own good, just stop.
alfalfalaffa 17
I rather enjoyed it. The war against internet puns is futile, you might have to learn to accept it.
venterd 13
Sooooooo? What did she say?
WOTAN1488 24
That wasn't even funny. Maybe if it was with your sister or your friend or something, but your mom? That could like kill her.
allimarcy 23
I don't think it would be appropriate at all to swap contact names with his sister either lol
Al3xv3l92 24
So did your mom replied must've been embarrassing.
ladyg228 15
Lol what was your moms response to that?
ijulez 14
she replied back probably haha
Zebediabolical 45
Yet another FML that shows how important it is to lock up your phones and computers.
ZombieSazza 34
Amen.
Anonypus 20
I wouldn't be able to look my mom in the eyes anymore.
Capitan 15
Imagine if you swapped your number with her dads. Wait.. Don't. Nobody wins in that situation.
Jiigaaboo 12
It should be fine, nothing your dad hasn't already said