By AnnoyedByFriends - 08/08/2013 04:43

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 717
You deserved it 9 699

Same thing different taste

Top comments

What about standing in line to buy groceries puts you in the mood


HowAreYouToday 34

is it just me or does the wording make it seem like the girlfriend got the erotic text meant for the dad?

I got it wrong at first, but makes sense. Dad received an erotic message from him, not from her

But he should have said they changed his father's name for his girlfriend's, not the contrary

I had to read it like a couple of times because of the same reason #4. I was so confused haha.

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Getting horny at the grocery store. .. those bananas will do that to you op.

Why would OP take an erotic picture at the grocery store.

B_CeouL 12
hcollins1 18

62, if it was an erotic picture, OP could have taken it at home before they left and just then had the chance to send it.

braceany 11

Such a good idea. Will have to try this one out. Hahah

Bahahaha!! That's hilarious! I agree , I'm gonna try it too!

CaiDog 20


sure you read Oedipus Rex there 5? might want to re-read it

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Ya I dont do twitter so I was confused..

CaiDog 20

Why do everyone on this site misuse Oedipus?!

Oedipus was a ************, not a fatherfucker. Fatherfucker should be a word.

Oedipus: son loves his mother and is jealous of his father. Electra: daughter loves her father and is jealous of her mother.... That's as basic as it can get (there is more to Freud's theory, but I'm not going to be a punctilious know-it-all).

What about standing in line to buy groceries puts you in the mood

I think it might've been how close they were standing

you can turn almost anything into something sexual...."oh look at these thick meaty corndogs. they're so big. I bet they dip these bad boys in warm gooey batter and the way they trust the stick into them.... oh my! just makes me want to shove one down my throat" .....what shall I do next ? a tomatoe? dinner rolls? perhaps a can of beans?

Do the beans pls! I am so curious right now! Haha

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Good god 20... so descriptive.

Dawnstempest 17

@52 Hungry for a hunk of burning love?

cans of beans it is ... " ooohhh these beans are so messy and sticky. as the can opener penetrated the can, it squirted some of the juice into my eye and all over my hair. I should have had a better firm grip on the can but it was just so slippery. " any other requests ?

There was actually no way I would have thought of it, you kinky bad girl. But still the imagination of red coloured juice isn't the best to think about when it comes to intercourse.

assassinbanana0 20

I would love to see you write a book

I can already see it becoming a best seller. " '50 Shades of Food' is a powerful, compelling novel that displays a unique perspective of the average kitchen. Jam packed with stories of provocative potatoes and naughty noodles, this book is a must read for all ages." ~ New York Times

Well, just smile and wave at him, smile and wave. Or prove that your phone composes and sends texts to random people automatically. I'm sure there is an app for that.

This kind of fml is why I'm never loaning my phone to my friends again...

Wait, You send erotic text messages to your dad?

alshygirl 14

It's almost as if you didn't read the FML at all

hcollins1 18

Yes 9, OP likes sending erotic texts to his dad while standing next to him at a grocery store. It's not like he has cruel but funny friends that changes the names in his phone!

Wouldn't that be the result of your friends changing your dad's name on your phone to your girlfriend's?

CharresBarkrey 15

In other words, exactly what the FML stated. Ah, never mind. I see now that the FML mods fixed the error.

I really want to know what happened after!

Him and his dad totally made out in the grocery store

Dawnstempest 17

And then it turned out they weren't really father and son. The grocery store wasn't a grocery story. Instead it was the set of a porno.

Then the pizza guy, cable guy, phone guy, and dude with a sweet mustache show up, and they make a mansagna That's a lasagna made out of dudes. Sausage included

I wonder how his girlfriend felt after the mansagna... Or maybe she showed up and got herself a piece