Love and School: Today, after he fought tooth and nail to win me back, my boyfriend... - FML

By Anonymous - Canada - Markham

Today, after he fought tooth and nail to win me back, my boyfriend had to break up with me. His parents found out he was dating while he was studying abroad, and are bringing him home. He told me that his parents knew about me and were really fond of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2335

You deserved it

194

Tweet

Share

Triage

But was he cute though?

Bottom of the list

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the landscaping job I started three weeks ago is actually for an illicit business run by a hippie who pissed away the entire payroll to fund his drug habit. He has no way of coughing up the $900 he owes me. I'm broke as hell, and my electricity is now going to get cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40986

You deserved it

4558

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions

Today, my best female friend got dumped. Seeing how I was alone when I got dumped, I didn't want her to feel the same, so I was nice to her and tried to help her as much as I could. I've now been getting constant messages from our mutual friends, telling me to stop hitting on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4877

You deserved it

501

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/9/2020 13:32 - India - Vijayawada

Dreams Never End

Today, I finally convinced my mother to allow me pursue my dream job after months of begging. I logged in to the college's website to register for the course and found that the final seat had been filled in today and I need to wait one more year for admission. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1250

You deserved it

313

Tweet

Share

By StrandedWhale - United Kingdom

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73674

You deserved it

5136

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Peoria

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38293

You deserved it

3184

Tweet

Share

By Infested Girlfriend - 30/4/2020 05:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Sharing is caring

Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1353

You deserved it

258

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I proudly gave my grandma a picture I had drawn for her. She didn't seem thrilled with it, and afterwards the rest of my family seemed upset. Nobody could fathom why I drew grandma a picture of a graveyard for her 85th birthday. It was suppose to be a bridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29879

You deserved it

6856

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19391

You deserved it

1490

Tweet

Share

By WhatJustHappened - 9/10/2020 14:02 - United States

Some people just never learn

Today, as a millennial, I had to explain to a baby boomer why he needs to use condoms when having sex with his 25-year-old girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1140

You deserved it

167

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my husband when we heard a baby coo. This would have been adorable, if we had a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20680

You deserved it

1452

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Iola

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40258

You deserved it

5470

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Too much of a good thing

Today, I finally found a job as a secretary for a small film studio. The sets are in a soundproofed part of the building, but not for the typical reasons. Right through the wall is a pornography studio. It's all I'll hear from 8 to 5 every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1450

You deserved it

241

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10401

You deserved it

45841

Tweet

Share

By kdriver - Canada - Oakville

Today, I'm fostering a very shy cat who doesn't like to be held. I had to move the litter box to another room, but when I picked him up to show him where I'd moved it to, he peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11340

You deserved it

1711

Tweet

Share

By Terri-Lynn - Canada - Calgary

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24682

You deserved it

4394

Tweet

Share

By LLP - 15/10/2020 17:01 - United States

Freudian slip

Today, I found out there's nothing like getting dumped and then receiving an inadvertent Snapchat sext from your ex-girlfriend that was intended for her new boyfriend, on what would have been your anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1405

You deserved it

114

Tweet

Share

By married an old man - United States - Rancho Mirage

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47913

You deserved it

6685

Tweet

Share

By Jess - United States

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9669

You deserved it

74826

Tweet

Share

By owmyhead - South Africa

Today, I woke up with a fever and a migraine. I work at an audiology clinic and my day consists of being shouted at down the phone by practically deaf people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30272

You deserved it

3129

Tweet

Share

By Betty - United States

Today, I went in for a doctors appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26405

You deserved it

9246

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 02:04 - United States - White Plains

Bad day

Today, I woke up feeling like I was on top of the world, until I got to work and I was demoted. Then I ordered Uber Eats for lunch, the driver was late and gave me the wrong meal. The worst part was when I got home and was dumped by my girlfriend via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1241

You deserved it

64

Tweet

Share

By - France

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up with her clothes, with wig and makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38105

You deserved it

5498

Tweet

Share

By billjoebob424 - Canada - Erin

Today, I walked in on my younger cousin trying to find Minecraft porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20566

You deserved it

1770

Tweet

Share

By bad boss

Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4760

You deserved it

263

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26676

You deserved it

2085

Tweet

Share

By mudy247

Today, it took me longer than it should have with a bit of calculations to remember how old I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3365

You deserved it

840

Tweet

Share

By broke

Today, I got better sleep in my 30-year-old compact car with it being 40 degrees outside than I did in my bed. Got something to look forward to, as I'll be homeless soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4339

You deserved it

313

Tweet

Share

By single - United States - Houston

Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29641

You deserved it

1987

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36361

You deserved it

5376

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51752

You deserved it

3027

Tweet

Share

By sexualpopcorn - United States - San Diego

Today, as I was saying bye to my girlfriend, I said "see ya later, alligator." She took offense because she thought I called her ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34648

You deserved it

4375

Tweet

Share

By Need Clothes Now - United States - Pendleton

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39619

You deserved it

3343

Tweet

Share

By "Forevor_a_potato"

Today, I have to reschedule the vacation I had planned for eight months because I have the flu, and feel too sick to go and enjoy myself at a waterpark. This vacation is the only thing that's kept me sane these last two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1851

You deserved it

206

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Chester

Keep your secrets, do your own laundry

Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1468

You deserved it

240

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my stepmother proved once again that she likes to play favourites. She has no job, so anything she gifts comes from my dad’s account. On my last birthday, I got £5 on a cheap card. Today, my step-brother's birthday, he got £400 and an iPad. He’s 4 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4371

You deserved it

221

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45568

You deserved it

3153

Tweet

Share

By jkass - Australia

Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36288

You deserved it

4466

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/11/2020 20:02 - United States - Onancock

How? Why?

Today, after getting in bed after a long day, I decided I would relieve some tension. Just as I'm ready to pop, in walks my grandma. I explode. My grandma, without missing a beat, just says, "Get cleaned up and go to bed. It's after twelve o'clock, you have to work in the morning." FML

I agree, your life sucks

897

You deserved it

306

Tweet

Share

By Aliiiice - France - Offranville

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48601

You deserved it

35825

Tweet

Share

By d - United States

Today, when I was trying to break up with my boyfriend, I told him how I needed space and time to think. His response was, "Ok, we're out of condoms anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30945

You deserved it

9445

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By interesting33 | 36

#7673147 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 10:53

they are bringing him home because he is dating?? what!? how old is he?

By ARISKomuniszt | 24

#7679880 - Monday 20 August 2018 21:01

"Studying abroad" or "studying a broad" (sorry guys I had to do that *dab*)

COMMENTS

By interesting33 | 36

#7673147 - Wednesday 8 August 2018 10:53

they are bringing him home because he is dating?? what!? how old is he?

By ARISKomuniszt | 24

#7679880 - Monday 20 August 2018 21:01

"Studying abroad" or "studying a broad" (sorry guys I had to do that *dab*)

By RichardPencil | 30

#7679884 - Monday 20 August 2018 21:07

Yay! Someone turned “Crazy Rich Asians” into an FML.

Reply

Glowworm56 | 25

#7679899 - Monday 20 August 2018 21:55

More like "Crazy Rich Canadians", eh?

By TyrionLannister | 17

#7679896 - Monday 20 August 2018 21:42

A lying child is not worth your time, my dear.

By purplepixie23 | 16

#7680322 - Tuesday 21 August 2018 19:18

Not fond enough

By soulreaper12296 | 28

#7680904 - Wednesday 22 August 2018 20:08

Honestly, you probably dodged a bullet there if his parents are that much in control of his life.