Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
She sniffed your sweaty crotch to see if you cheated? She took that chance? That's seriously psychotic. Nothing grosser than sweaty junk. Run, dude. Run before she picks up your scent! You'll never lose her once she does!
GingerFro 0
fyl she's got issues
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Comments (459)
jess6blondie9 3
Well, obviously you did something to make her not trust you.
goshpeople 4
Some people are just extremely insecure, or she may have had a bad experience with a previous relationship which is affecting her ability to trust her boyfriend. Or she is cheating herself (or is very tempted to cheat) and that makes her not trust the OP since she herself isn't trustworthy. There's nothing "obviously" about it; there are many possibilities in this situation where the OP is entirely blameless.
jess6blondie9 3
I guess that could be true also.
kindlystfupls 0
61 I couldn't have said it better myself!
kingfin88 0
cuch lady no one wants to read your bs
sabrinahusic 0
46 OP obviously did something to make her not trust him.
Michigan_Girl 0
Gross
collinp89 1
epic win. i wouldnt have let her get a second sniff lol
GuidoCheese 0
Question is, have you ever cheated on her to make her insecure or is she just insecure? Details Op, it changes everything.
lizgoesrawr 0
what's a relationship without trust?
OneRepublic10 0
I fell sorry for you. ur own girlfriend doesn't believe in you
jess6blondie9 3
*into
jess6blondie9 3
Ha wow that was supposed to go to 38, sorry.
lrr11 0
you've probably cheated before and deserve this
goawaynowbye 1
If there is a reason (like your past cheating) that she is that paranoid, break up with her now because neither of you need that stress and she will never trust you again. If there is not a reason, explain to her how awful her behavior is and then break up with her DIRECTLY after the explanation because she is too immature for a relationship and may never grow up. If she sucked your dick after smelling it, it could have just been an excuse to suck your dick... a bad one... but an excuse none the less and in that case ignore it unless it happens again without sucking or it gets to be so frequent and is so much of a turn off (and she knows that) that it's abusive. She may also be paranoid about you cheating because she is cheating on you.
dreamering 16
**** me for reading this long ass comment. I'm going to post my FML story about how I spent my time reading this.
ReynshineCutting 10
Having trust issues does not make someone too immature for a relationship. People fail to understand that everyone has issues, and you can't break up with someone over them (unless they're harming someone) or you'll never be with anyone. What ever happened to working things out? To supporting your significant other when they're trying to work on their own issues? And if you think you'll ever find a stress free relationship, think again. Relationships take work. If you think otherwise you're the one too immature to be in a relationship.