Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
She sniffed your sweaty crotch to see if you cheated? She took that chance? That's seriously psychotic. Nothing grosser than sweaty junk. Run, dude. Run before she picks up your scent! You'll never lose her once she does!
GingerFro 0
fyl she's got issues
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Comments (459)
sillylolo 6
lol man that sucks 4 u
franceska 0
so what you need to do is lemme smell yo dick
dianadiane 0
You should have said: "Is useless, I didn't use a condom pyscho"
tony1234 0
did she at least give you a ******** after she smelt it?
Livinia 11
She seems like a paranoid bitch, and smelling sweaty genitals?! Sounds as if there's something wrong with her.
jess6blondie9 3
Or she's just in to sweaty genitals. Who knows.
WordSmyth 2
She's a nut who likes nuts, go figure. A brave woman she is to inhale sweaty speedbag.
swittig 0
come in her face next time she smells it
lilyisfly 0
u spelled cum wrong
Radek18 0
you spelled 'you wrong'
head2133 12
u should break up. she obviously doesnt trust you at all. if you don't break up dont tell her to stop smelling your junk or shell think your cheating on her.
ReynshineCutting 10
Yes because there's nothing else you can do like, I don't know, work it out?
premiumJones 3
why you comin home at 5 in the morn somethings going on let me smell yo dick
kingkaneer_fml 0
lol
kkrriissy 2
lmao
stayawakee 0
Wow seriously? Your girlfriend is an over protective, self conscious, worrying bitch. She's probably cheating herself and wants you to so she can blame you for ruining the relationship. I hope you forgot to add the "ex" in front of girlfriend when posting this.
ReynshineCutting 10
Or maybe he's cheated before so she's worried he'll do it again. We don't know why she is the way she is. It doesn't make her a bitch and there's no reason to dump her over this. All you people saying "dump her" on any relationship fmls are never going to be able to stay married because you'll get divorced as soon as you have a problem.