Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
She sniffed your sweaty crotch to see if you cheated? She took that chance? That's seriously psychotic. Nothing grosser than sweaty junk. Run, dude. Run before she picks up your scent! You'll never lose her once she does!
GingerFro 0
fyl she's got issues
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Comments (459)
mintcar 10
Either she's a psychotic botch or you've cheated many times before to the point where she's incredibly paranoid. Whatever the case, if the situation doesn't get fixed soon, your relationship might deteriorate.
mintcar 10
bitch* -_-
prettyinpink03 11
safe to say the relationship *has* deteriorated.
rostron71 3
I liked "botch" better lol!
kangaru1 0
your opinion/reply is the fairest of all.
shali14 0
or she is both ??
Mjwnenrjs 17
While she's sniffing it, stick it in her mouth and say "Suck it bitch!"
GingerFro 0
^WIN
lionandthelamb61 9
Hey Ginger, that's a pretty sweet fro.
apegirl907 0
haha do it
hollysterT 0
LOL
Kenneth14 0
haha just like that song Smell Yo dick
LindseyLeasure 1
Haha, Exactly what I was thinking! love that song! XD
MakeAScene 4
I was thinking the same exact thing, haha.
b0redom 0
i was looking for a comment like this
Free_Candy 0
Completely.
Monii_Harlz 11
ok then, either something has made her think that you cheat or she likes the smell of sweaty ball sack!!!
Jamialia 5
Either she is an insecure bitch or you've cheated before.
BWill9014 4
If she's going to go through all the trouble to annoy you over her stupid insecurities... she better be sucking some dick after shes done sniffing
shaniecerb 0
uhhh maybe he cheated on her b4..i mean she shouldve left him if that was the case but.this could all b his fault
DeLpHe3zY 7
thats like me.. she has a legit fear.. I think my gf cheats on me when she goes to the gym talking to 30 year old men
cutie1322003 1
wow... you new to get over it or get out of te relationship.
KLern 0
for some reason that just screams statutory... nevertheless, once she starts smelling your dick you'll know it's time to move on.
DeLpHe3zY 7
haha okay :)
cjgqsmooth 0
what else does she want a polygraph test? lhh
SilentTreatment 7
Give her a mushroom stamp on the forehead for approval!
kittycatman2 3
To be even more certain, next time ask her to smell your butt hole. So she won't think you've switched teams because she drove you to it.
sillylolo 6
lol
karagarren 8
LOL