Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML
Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
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Top comments
arela 0
give it away give it away give it away now
under_estimated 0
i would just give the turtle away
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Comments (366)
babybarb 0
My uncle gave away our turtles to a museum. Try that.
alwaysalady 0
Turtles aren't very clean. They carry salmonella. Please don't give it to a kid. Take it to an animal shelter, or force the girlfriend to take it back. She wanted to get it, not you. On the bright side, this is a pet. She could have left you with a child.
eliz3 0
Sell it then, stupid. Problem solved.
shadow_moses 0
FYL but its easily solvable, you can sell it to someone. you might even get some money out of the whole thing.
myrddraal_fml 0
turtles are cool though =( I want one.. Can you ship it to New Zealand??
wallythedolly 0
donate it to some pet shelter. or re-gift it to someone.
konstantdreamer8 0
so give it away I don't see the problem here.. You'll live
k10tree 0
Why can't you just give it away?
bullgetsmatador 0
Gotta agree with everyone else here; sell the turtle to someone who wants him.
wingedtoad 0
You deserved it for not researching your pet beforehand. If you're going to get a pet, even jointly, you should look up everything you can before you get it so you can be prepared. And don't release it into the wild! Chances are it's a red eared slider, which is considered an invasive species in some areas.