Miscellaneous: Roommates from hell

Roommates from hell

By NotEnoughBleach - 14/03/2016 03:58 - United States - Englewood

Today, while trying to sleep, my roommates were shouting in the next room. When I poked my head out to tell them to shut up, I was greeted by the sight of one of them with his knob duct-taped inside a gun holster, and the other one trying to rip it off. And they wonder why I'm not more social. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 1 334

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 572

You deserved it 6 325

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 042

You deserved it 6 552

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 781

You deserved it 6 163

We're all in hell

By Looking4AnApartment - 16/02/2021 15:30 - United States - Bellmore

Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 15/02/2015 17:57 - Denmark

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 409

You deserved it 3 268

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 982

You deserved it 2 992

By anthony512 - 24/05/2013 16:08 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 022

You deserved it 12 763

By soon to have a fist shaped hole in my ass - 23/01/2016 07:49 - Canada - Cornwall

Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 995

You deserved it 8 662

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 551

You deserved it 3 739

Wakey wakey

By DanJames24 - 24/05/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Southsea

Today, my flatmate woke me up early, saying there was a fire and we had to evacuate. Barely awake, she practically dragged me downstairs and got to the front door. Once we got there, she opened the front door, kneed me in the nuts, and pushed me out, locking it behind her. I was only in boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 150

MidnaLink 33

Monday 14 March 2016 16:31

What the hell? Why was a gun holster on his dick?

nemouisu 22

Monday 14 March 2016 16:32

They were having a blast

Comments

proudspanishgirl 10

Monday 14 March 2016 16:31

Some people are so weird lol

MidnaLink 33

Monday 14 March 2016 16:31

What the hell? Why was a gun holster on his dick?

grigri75 35

Monday 14 March 2016 16:40

^ asking the real questions

Welshite 39

Monday 14 March 2016 17:02

#2: He was trying to determine whether he was shooting blanks. It's a legitimate medical test.

killmenow03 21

Monday 14 March 2016 17:41

College.

andrmac 25

Tuesday 15 March 2016 5:48

He wanted to have a duel... Pistols at high noon!

PhantomUSA 3

Tuesday 15 March 2016 11:57

why not?

nemouisu 22

Monday 14 March 2016 16:32

They were having a blast

tehman117 21

Monday 14 March 2016 16:33

....DRAW!

Phantom425 11

Monday 14 March 2016 16:34

Fetushes are getting weirder and weirder.

SpyroMello 29

Monday 14 March 2016 18:46

More like people are getting stupider.

kaithewhiteguy 12

Tuesday 15 March 2016 0:24

More stupid* :)

Youtube_Troll 12

Monday 14 March 2016 16:35

If they are both guys... Well this FML just got weird AF.

HarleyBlues 24

Monday 14 March 2016 17:05

Really? Both of them being men is what would make this weird to you?

Tripartita 44

Monday 14 March 2016 17:35

This would be so much less weird if they were both gals.

sparkledoge 29

Monday 14 March 2016 18:16

Yeah #6, them being guy makes it so weird because everyone knows it would be less weird if a girl was trying to rip a gun holster off a guy's dick. Or if a girl had a dick, and a gun holster stuck on it. Makes sense.