By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 778
You deserved it 5 451

Same thing different taste

Top comments

skip_m 6

It's not the size of your penis that matters. It's how you thrust in and out during sexual intercourse. I'm bad at puns..


skip_m 6
Telescope 1

It's not the size of the ship. It's the motion of the ocean. Don't worry about it OP

But it's hard to get to England in a rowboat.

It's not about the size, it's about sending a message.

Hard but not impossible. There are other methods of transportation. Lol.

It's not how deep you fish, it's how you wiggle your worm.

It's not the size of your penis that matters. It's how you thrust in and out during sexual intercourse. I'm bad at puns..

#72 I'll give you an A for effort. And You don't have to hit the bottom, just destroy the sides.

FFML_314 11

I'm still waiting to find out what the message is, 24 is talking about!

Am I the only person seeing double copies of 17?

It's not about how deep you can dig, but how well you plough.

Wizardo 33

Size is important sometimes, but how you use your fingers matters more, however how you use you tongue matters the most.

I feel like a lot of guys have big dicks and just sort of stab, but not that many actually know how to use it at all. So, good job OP! A and ydi because this isn't an FML.

GoodLookingGeese 10

Lion King reference number 106?! Yeah. I caught that shit. I'm obsessed with that movie. Whatcha gonna do 'bout it? :3

senor_awesome 14

This is just a guess, but 99 might have been answering 85's question.

glowing praise. you should feel ok about this OP.

iOceanus 18

It's one of those "happy, yet sad," moments.

It is definitely an up and down moment. But keep in mind she is still with you so you have to be doing something right.

a happy sad moment like the joke where the guys wife says he has the biggest penis out of all of his friends?

iOceanus 18

116: The joke is that the wife/girlfriend is attempting to make her man happy and sad at the same time, so she says to him, "out of all of your friends, you have the biggest penis." It goes something like that.

Thatguy334 7

That sucks, but truth can hurt

I don't think it's ever appropriate to tell a guy he has a small penis. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to tell me I have small boobs. :/

iOceanus 18

44: I agree, in both cases, although, boobs are enjoyable no matter the size! At least, in my opinion they are.

I agree with you 44. I was saying that when I read this to my husband. I could never imagine being this mean to someone.

Oh please! He knows if its small just like a woman knows if her boobs are small!

Some people have insecurities and see certain body parts differently than they really are. And people's personals can look smaller from their own point of view.

Hey 44, im wierd, but I actually prefer small boobs

You don't have the best tools, but you can still use them! Think about it, you won't be included in the people who aren't good at it

wlddog 14

I am confused how it even came up. Him;"Greetings and Salutations my girlfriend. What shall we discuss today?" Her;"Well, lets just keep it to a casual conversation today." Him;"No-problemo. We have the option to converse about weather, local sports, or my dick. You choose."

108, no. If you're anything like a normal person (I consider normal like me and ADHD) to talk about anything and if something popped in our head we would say it. Maybe it wasn't her who brought it up, and she was being honest. One of my buddies girlfriend told me he's hung like a horse but don't know how to use it..don't really know why she even thought to tell me that though -_-

wlddog 14

I used to be ADHD. But now I am no longer hyper. I still find time to read and start hobbies, but I never really know if she loves me. I tried to be nice but her pants just kept falling off. That is when I invented belts. They went from place to place.... And uh.... Did stuff together. Did you know I like pie? We have kids together now but they hate to eat their veggies.

138, teach me your ways. I cannot sit still :/ always moving yet so lazy haha bad legs so I can't really run everywhere like I used to haha. Pies are really good, but nothing can come close to pizza, damn that stuff is good haha

So you've got a teeny weenie. You've got the Ocean Motion!

Teenie weenie haha, OP, if you're ever feeling down, go the the Guinness book of world records and look up worlds smallest dick, that should make you feel monstrous, or at least "manly-er". And as long as you don't have premature ejaculation to go along with that, your good OP, your good.

A girl should NEVER criticise a guys penis, this sounds like an offhanded compliment though. You should just be happy she thinks that you do a good job!

Exactly, after all, why can't we criticise their fannies?

There are enough women out there who get told that their 'fannies' aren't pretty enough. Why do you think labiaplasty and vaginaplasty are a thing?

Labiaplasty is not purely esthetic, I like to think that essentially the was a practical one, because people get discomfort and pinching during certain activities if they have enlarged labia. I know of a few people who had to get it done because of the pain experienced during horseback riding. So the procedures don't exist just for that reason.

I was wondering where this conversation was coming from because "fanny" means buttock in the USA not the female genitalia.

In the UK, at least, fanny means ******.

Yep, and rubbers means erasers, right? I keep forgetting you're all the way over there. And not 'cause I'm self centered. :P

Yep, rubbers means erasers ;) And saying "I could care less" doesn't mean anything over here, and irregardless isn't a word either ;)

It's "couldn't" care less. If you could care less that means there's room to care more. We all have stupid pet peeves.That's one of mine. Lol But it means nothing to you "over there".

Quote: "A 2008 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that 32 per cent of women who underwent the procedure did so to correct a functional impairment; 31 per cent to correct a functional impairment and for aesthetic reasons; and 37 per cent for aesthetic reasons alone." I think that leaves enough women who undergo a risky procedure because they feel self conscious about it.

Yes, but they generally don't enlarge them.

63, I like to view "I could care less" as meaning that I could care less, but I don't care enough to care less. Typically used as an insulting sort of thing.

Yeah. Only through repeatedly mistaken usage has "irregardless" forced its way into our dictionaries.

The_F3rris 11

We wont criticize your penises if you stop criticizing our boobs. Fair trade.

Irregardless IS a word which has been used since the early 20th century, it appears in multiple dictionaries and the fact that its origins may or may not have been due to repeated misuse is irrelevant as that's likely to be how any number of words got started.. language evolves.

Bad news: your penis is small. Good news: you're semi-competent at using it. I think the good outweighs the bad here. Kinda.

Well he could also been TOO big, which is also bad.

Yeah, but I don't think being "to big" would make any guy sad about his manhood.

8: That "kinda" looks to be loaded. I recommend you lock up your wit before some innocent man stumbles upon it and hurts himself.

She probably meant that in the nicest way possible. A small penis isn't something to be ashamed off, it's just genetics after all. Bad sex however is just not putting in enough effort. So yes, you really are ok.

perdix 29

Just pretend that the guys with the big dicks don't know how to use them.

He can never watch **** again if he does that. Except maybe girl girl action and that is only sans big toys.

sxychik 4

**** is all about acting.. they could completely suck at sex.

This is true. There are no fluffers in real life. Shame though. :(