Today, I went with my friends to see a movie. I handed my student...

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went with my friends to see a movie. I handed my student card over to the cashier as proof I was old enough to see it, and he started laughing hysterically at my picture. Then he called over a colleague, who also started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30960

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2997

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Miscellaneous

Where are you?

Persona non grata

Phantom pooper

By Anon - United States

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

79351

You deserved it

5979

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By gingerbread - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1947

You deserved it

3581

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By Noname - United States

Today, I rode in the cab on the way back to my dorm from the airport. The taxi driver was on the phone and not really paying attention. I paid him and got out of the cab, but he drove away before I could get my luggage out of the trunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74854

You deserved it

5357

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By Anonyme - France

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12946

You deserved it

83671

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By Ihaveaheadache - United States

Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26861

You deserved it

2150

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Uddingston

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47897

You deserved it

3938

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By womanoski - United States - Fishers

Today, while taking a bus full of loud, rambunctious elementary children to school, the bus slowly slid off the road into a ditch. After waiting 30 minutes that felt like hours, I saw the tow truck arriving from the opposite direction also slide slowly off the roadway into the opposite ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22366

You deserved it

1449

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By Anonymous

Today, I went to a cute frog-themed frozen yogurt shop that was surprisingly realistic. So realistic, in fact, that there was a dead fly in my yogurt. I found it with my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3681

You deserved it

294

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30387

You deserved it

3197

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By RuinedTheMood - United States - Tomball

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47647

You deserved it

13284

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By kattydoo07 - United States

Catch 22

Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80648

You deserved it

4196

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By sufia - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15213

You deserved it

1150

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By flimflam - United States

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42640

You deserved it

3846

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By Devin

Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1340

You deserved it

658

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By etsl - France

Today, I've learnt that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59220

You deserved it

15310

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By elipses - Canada

Today, I got a report telling me how I had handled a mystery shopper at work. In this report I found out that instead of saying "Thank you" I had said "Have a nice day, take care." This kept me from getting my $150 bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47984

You deserved it

2978

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By Anonymous

She definitely won though.

Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2528

You deserved it

741

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By blarghhhh - United States - Owosso

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19950

You deserved it

1351

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By dog_day - United States

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

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28286

You deserved it

2682

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By Annie - India

Today, I was having a romantic conversation with my boyfriend under the stars. He said, "You know how there are people who are beautiful on the inside and people who are beautiful on the outside? Yeah, well you're one of those 'inside' people." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36551

You deserved it

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By flowerfail - United States

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43626

You deserved it

4950

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59542

You deserved it

3331

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By SadBride - United States

Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29219

You deserved it

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By wookieewhosshe

Today, I was informed that my flatmate had not handed his documents in to the new landlord like he'd told me. We are due to move to a new area tomorrow for the new job that I start in 4 days. Now we can't move for another week. Anyone have a spare couch? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1470

You deserved it

127

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By Anonymous - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52048

You deserved it

3505

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By Anonymous - United States - Brandon

Wrong sort of poking

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

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54021

You deserved it

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48479

You deserved it

2954

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By Disgruntled - United States - Jamestown

Today, it's been exactly two years since I got my last raise. And the amount I got still allows me the luxury of being able to afford a Snickers bar every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23380

You deserved it

2447

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By Hackmanjones - Canada

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55290

You deserved it

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By OopsMonkey - Netherlands

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

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27930

You deserved it

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By forever young - United States

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

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26371

You deserved it

52692

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By Anonymous

Hygiene 101

Today, my mother refused to talk to me because I wouldn't let her use my deodorant stick. FML

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1614

You deserved it

226

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By jakethemuss - Australia - Perth

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

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48820

You deserved it

6689

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By Anonymous - 18/6/2020 17:02

What goes up…

Today, I had to take my daughter to hospital because her butt swallowed her dildo. Try as I might, in the waiting area her dad and I couldn’t stop giggling at random intervals at the absurdity of the situation, so she’s probably never going to speak to us again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2003

You deserved it

276

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By ScoobieDoo - United States

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

425576

You deserved it

66449

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By woopwoop - United States

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58092

You deserved it

10835

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By rick - United States - Roanoke

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47019

You deserved it

3528

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By Andrew Dutch Beebe

Today, I was told not to show up for work, after I showed up for work. FML

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1526

You deserved it

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By krray

Suspense

Today, I was walking up the stairs with my lunch behind a heavy co-worker. His arms were full, and step by step, as we went up the stairs his pants dropped a little further. By the time we reached the top, his knickers were below his knees and it was a full moon. I prayed he wouldn't fart on my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4844

You deserved it

667

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By Anonymous

Today, just a day prior to my vacation starting, I learned that my five-day "seasonal fever" is actually due to a blood infection from a bacteria. FML

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Top comments

By Rockflid | 3

#4133402 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:13

Complain to their boss.

By megamandude455 | 10

#4133529 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:29

"and then they called their boss over, who then proceeded to laugh at it too."

COMMENTS

By Rockflid | 3

#4133402 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:13

Complain to their boss.

megamandude455 | 10

#4133529 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:29

"and then they called their boss over, who then proceeded to laugh at it too."

mpj13 | 8

#4133778 - Thursday 8 March 2012 1:12

I kind of want to see the picture...

muzy | 23

#4133927 - Thursday 8 March 2012 1:43

^ upon which open responded by spitting in their faces and having the last laugh. it's a bit vulgar but appropriate!

muzy | 23

#4133937 - Thursday 8 March 2012 1:45

edit: op

LolFMLnot | 10

#4134241 - Thursday 8 March 2012 3:13

I would laugh along, because seriously my student ID is funny looking as well :$

ankoku | 2

#4134347 - Thursday 8 March 2012 3:45

I would respond by lodging a complaint with their corporate office!

Oh, and spitting in their faces too that'd just be hilarious!

straightxedge74 | 0

#4134457 - Thursday 8 March 2012 4:22

Then they see your pic and laugh

cookie_3008 | 4

#4134762 - Thursday 8 March 2012 5:39

Is your name "Chris P. Bacon" or.."Harry Pitts"...by any chance???

suckingatlife | 9

#4139000 - Friday 9 March 2012 1:20

I hope you got to see a movie for free.

By liv2laugh721 | 0

#4133419 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:14

Aww im sorry
Well at least u know u can make people laugh....

unitedfan11 | 0

#4134440 - Thursday 8 March 2012 4:18

You should see my license. It looks like I'm high. My point is everyone looks funny in their licenses so it's justifiable that the two employees laughed. I bet you those employees look just as ridiculous in their licenses...

copy125 | 0

#4134632 - Thursday 8 March 2012 5:07

Either op was hit really hard with the ugly stick or he has a really bad fake lol

Suchagoonnn | 4

#4136052 - Thursday 8 March 2012 10:08

^ Who gets a fake to get into movies?

copy125 | 0

#4137065 - Thursday 8 March 2012 16:29

Hence the laughter!

Ecklcakes | 15

#4137935 - Thursday 8 March 2012 21:00

Well at least they were laughing at your picture rather than your actual face! It means that they're laughing at something which is in the picture rather than something which is displayed on your face normally! :D

By Kypopz | 9

#4133430 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:15

You will ALWAYS look bad on a card, whether it be your license or your student ID.

KiddNYC1O | 20

#4133933 - Thursday 8 March 2012 1:44

I look terrible in my work ID.

dkaur | 0

#4134179 - Thursday 8 March 2012 2:56

Hmm not true

taerts | 9

#4134200 - Thursday 8 March 2012 3:04

Sadly, student ID's always look like mug shots.

holly1398 | 5

#4134914 - Thursday 8 March 2012 6:28

in mine, my hair is all ruffled from the wind outside and some of mascara is running from the rain :(

Justy101 | 23

#4138139 - Thursday 8 March 2012 22:21

Or if you're making a ridiculous duck face.

By thisbitchlys | 0

#4133434 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:15

sock em in the facee!

yandizzle | 0

#4134900 - Thursday 8 March 2012 6:23

and Thats where you pretend to rob them, see their expression and be like nah I'm just playin and see who has the last laugh then!

Jakesterk96 | 8

#4136647 - Thursday 8 March 2012 14:48

Woah now, let's just calm the fuck down.

yandizzle | 0

#4140315 - Friday 9 March 2012 9:28

It was just a suggestion to make OP feel better. (walks away in shame shaking my head saying no one understands me.)

By studdmuffin1990 | 7

#4133438 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:16

Double fist punch them in the face and as there bent over in pain punch there brown eye! (saw it on T.V. once so it has to work) ;)

RaggleFrock | 13

#4133746 - Thursday 8 March 2012 1:04

The tv's never lied to me before!

Havin | 19

#4134208 - Thursday 8 March 2012 3:07

I watched a lot of t.v when I was growing up and I turned out t.v.

Michael_92 | 20

#4135820 - Thursday 8 March 2012 8:31

Cause EVERYTHING on TV is for real. Specially movies, they always portray things accurately.

By desireev | 17

#4133447 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:16

Aww OP!
That must've been so embarrassing! :(
FYL, indeed!

LiveLaughFML | 10

#4133820 - Thursday 8 March 2012 1:20

You're seriously so nice and I love reading comments by you :)

desireev | 17

#4134436 - Thursday 8 March 2012 4:17

Thank you! I really try to be!
I really appreciate that! You made my day! :D

straightxedge74 | 0

#4134466 - Thursday 8 March 2012 4:24

Your both annoying

veryhighsleepygu | 7

#4134566 - Thursday 8 March 2012 4:54

You really shouldn't smile it's kinda scary -_-

LiveLaughFML | 10

#4134569 - Thursday 8 March 2012 4:54

51 - how so?

And awe you're welcome! Anytime :)

veryhighsleepygu | 7

#4134571 - Thursday 8 March 2012 4:54

You really shouldn't smile it's kinda scary -_-

LiveLaughFML | 10

#4134589 - Thursday 8 March 2012 4:56

57 - and you really shouldn't say anything if you don't have anything nice to say :3 we're not here to judge anybody

veryhighsleepygu | 7

#4134595 - Thursday 8 March 2012 4:58

Correct me If I'm wrong but isn't telling someone Their nice judging them :/

desireev | 17

#4134955 - Thursday 8 March 2012 6:38

I smile because I'm a happy person. How is that creepy? Lol

veryhighsleepygu | 7

#4134964 - Thursday 8 March 2012 6:40

Didn't say creepy I said scary and because you got a crazy chic face

periwinkle95 | 10

#4135707 - Thursday 8 March 2012 8:08

75- go die in a hole you motherfucker. You're talking about her face? She's pretty. You on the other hand probably look like a pig's ass.

leprechaun23 | 15

#4138202 - Thursday 8 March 2012 22:43

If you complain to the boss maybe he/she will give you free snacks or a free ticket

By A100893 | 30

#4133494 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:23

Jerks.

IAdminIFlow | 0

#4135661 - Thursday 8 March 2012 7:54

those fothermuckers...

By rinkagamine_fml | 9

#4133499 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:24

Well, that's pretty rude. People have no class sometimes. ;[

By ilovefall10 | 21

#4133514 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:26

What the hell is wrong with people these days?
Seriously, no manners.

By neverdrinkSODA | 12

#4133520 - Thursday 8 March 2012 0:26

tear their mandibles from their hollow skulls