Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML
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Top comments
skip_m 6
It's a Small World After All.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
It's not the size of your penis that matters. It's how you thrust in and out during sexual intercourse. I'm bad at puns..
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Comments (146)
Epikouros 32
Rule of thumb: never mention the size of your boyfriend's penis, not even in a positive way, unless it's way above average. P.S. When I'm typing 'penis', my phone predicts 'perdix'.
onorexveritas 24
interesting logic
disisDebosbike 2
Tell her it's nice to have a girl that is so easy to enter. Make a second comment about how it feels so spacious inside of her, but make sure you jump out the window after. I won't be held responsible for what ensues..
l23VIVE 17
To be fair, she could have said you had a small penis and that you were bad in bed
buckdharma 38
I was helping a girl move furniture in her bedroom. When we moved her dresser, I almost jumped out of my shoes. What I mistook for a snake, turned out to be her misplaced sex-toy. It looked like it belonged in a cage. A big cage!
FunnyMedic 7
I guess it's fair to say she has a bone to pick with you...
ninad7 12
just say yeah, I was thinking the same thing about your boobs...
CrookedCook 14
Don't be sad OP, at least she admitted you weren't bad at the rocking, which counts the most.
doritowhore 9
I feel like every week there is an FML that has to do with penis size...
mike307 11
To the girls that think that this poor guy got a compliment.... This is like a guy saying something to the effect that "your not to bad looking, your ok :/..."