Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML
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Top comments
skip_m 6
It's a Small World After All.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
It's not the size of your penis that matters. It's how you thrust in and out during sexual intercourse. I'm bad at puns..
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Comments (146)
cmbar831 14
Don't take it so "hard"
landon_loe11 16
If it bothers you that bad, there are surgeries where they can extend your penis.
sux4u121 10
That is stupid, nobody should spend thousands of dollars just so they can have a little extra trouser snake.
happle 21
This sounds like it has so much potential to go wrong.
dontpanic_fml 32
And also by the way, no, there is no procedure, medicine or device that will enlarge your penis, no matter what spam e-mail subject lines you've read.
SirEskimo 13
From what I've read, all the surgery does is make you look bigger flaccid, that's about it. So not worth the effort imo
Catkam623 27
I thought there was a procedure that cut a tendon to let out a couple inches hidden inside
happle 21
My brother told me that some men have surgery that cuts open the penis, like a fillet or something and it heals that way to become larger. I hope he was lying.
Pleonasm 36
Hey, no matter how big or small the weiner, I'm still glad it's in my hotdog. I'm just glad I'm not eating plain old bread. I imagine girls can think so too ;)
cmbar831 14
That is just disgusting sounding
SonOfAMitch 14
Totally! Eating hotdog bread without the actual hotdog... makes me sick just thinking about it!
MNBOY16 15
Once you learn that size doesn't matter...you realize you have a small penis!
perdix 31
If you want to keep this girl, you're going to have to bring it with new finger and tongue action. "I guess you're OK" is not a ringing endorsement, so you are just a placeholder until she finds a guy that's better than OK.
fyrfyter 4
Apparently you don't suck at sex, so consider it a compliment!
xmaximusx 12
Lol its a ploy to trap and control ya inducing self doubt
jelly713 19
OP, that's unfortunate that she's only okay with it. If you're only doing an okay job then she should be telling you how to do better instead of just pointing out you're small. A lot of guys already feel small because it looks smaller from their angle. So I think it's kinda mean to say it that way. It's not like she has to be with you, she just shouldn't make a big deal if she loves you.
danielhartlesss 13
It's still a compliment OP, you should feel good about yourself.
Yessi_Boo 14
Hey, if you can use it well, that means you make her happy. You should show her just how well you can use it now that it already came up.