Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
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Top comments
Crickmasta 0
I don't know what's worse; the fact that your penis is the same size as a seven year old's or that your daughter already saw a boy's penis at the age of seven, all i know is FYL
EmbalmingTheatre 0
That sucks, but maybe this boy has a really huge one and it's not so bad? And first, wow
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Comments (232)
Jl33_fml 0
haha .. your daughter has some "friends"
thebirdistheword 0
little kids exagerate things get over it I think YOUR a big dick. not ur penis, just you in general. asshole
paris_zamba0028 5
*you're, idiot
ComputerAnalysis 0
To OP: You're clearly doing something wrong parent-wise.
wolfman2012 0
maybe Dylan is just HUGE for his age
mammygammy 0
#5, children have erections, they're just all NRBs (no-reason boners), they don't feel hormones but the pressure still builds in there. So, #3 is probably right from my perspective
cheese1756 0
Don't worry, you penis shrinks in water. It's a fact.
Jibby10 0
#65...that must be the worst preschool in the history of the world. First, what preschool has gym class? Second, why would they even have showers at a PREschool?
hunkydory 0
you're more concerned with the fact that your daughter saw your penis and compared it to a 7 year old boys, then the fact that said boy, showed your daughter his penis?
pgray18 0
dude chill if u have a daughter and son it means ur wife has accepted ur size.. dylan however.. has a long way to go and with great penis comes great responsibilty.... and the ability to satisfy a woman.. if i were u i'd be proud of myself for helping create the monster :P
janise 2
Since the OP said 'my daughter and Dylan' not 'my daughter and son Dylan'....it has to be assumed Dylan isn't his son.
f_ckkl_fe 0
wow i really dont know whats worse: your penis being the same size as a 7 year old, your daughter seeing a 7 year olds penis, or your 7 year old daughter walking in on you naked and seeing your penis. the whole things effed up.