Love, Kids and Holidays: Today, I was telling a close friend about the devastating discovery...

By Mylifeisaboldandbeautifulepisode

Today, I was telling a close friend about the devastating discovery of my husband’s cheating. Turns out, she may be giving my children a half-sister for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6559

You deserved it

331

Favorite

Love

Kids

Holidays

Understandable

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

The geyser

By Is McDonald's Hiring?

Today, I was sternly told that if I didn't pass more students, I would be out of a job. I then went to my class to collect papers, and was stymied by how I could be giving passing grades to the 12 of 24 who didn't turn anything in. College students. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2391

You deserved it

158

Favorite

By Safe - United States

Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

87337

You deserved it

5003

Favorite

By Dani - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34145

You deserved it

9392

Favorite

By TearfulDaughter - United States

Today, I planned on introducing my fiancé to my parents. After the introductions, and telling him how I hoped our relationship would have the same amount of love and commitment that has lasted my mother and father for 25 years, my parents awkwardly announced their imminent divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34870

You deserved it

3154

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53167

You deserved it

4086

Favorite

By Sady_Ct

Be careful what you wish for…

Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1429

You deserved it

511

Favorite

By clothesthief - Australia - Ivanhoe

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31652

You deserved it

3908

Favorite

By LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26542

You deserved it

47457

Favorite

By MissSmarts - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6958

You deserved it

39488

Favorite

By GAGirl1 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40960

You deserved it

7196

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30044

You deserved it

4137

Favorite

By kaynotentirelywrong - Canada - Repentigny

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40123

You deserved it

13298

Favorite

By Ohfman117 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10930

You deserved it

71606

Favorite

By not4geeks - United States

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32228

You deserved it

72943

Favorite

By Tim - United States

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31638

You deserved it

3350

Favorite

By Anonymous - 19/2/2021 15:01 - Australia - The Oaks

Sorry, but it's a no

Today, after years of battling mental health and unemployment, I was rejected from a job packing tomatoes. Apparently I'm unsuitable for even the most basic work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

871

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - East Hampton

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42628

You deserved it

3587

Favorite

By Matt - Canada

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32665

You deserved it

5014

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, because of the gas crisis in my state, we had to stop taking delivers at the pizza place I work at. Someone asked if we could walk it to them. My manager agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11745

You deserved it

806

Favorite

By welted - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27055

You deserved it

4197

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I graduated from a top law school. My aunt's reaction? "I will never hang out with a cop." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24264

You deserved it

2057

Favorite

By suppressinggags - United States - Kennett

Today, I found out that my stepsister loves sticking random household objects in her ear in an attempt to collect ear wax. I found out when I walked in on her trying to pick all the wax out of the bristles of my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19446

You deserved it

1226

Favorite

By AvocadoPurse

Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2668

You deserved it

268

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/4/2021 14:01

Thanks, Shep

Today, I'm recovering from a fall down the basement steps. I was carrying a casserole down to the fridge we have in the basement. I tripped, crashed at the bottom and broke my arm. Our dog came running down to investigate, completely ignored me, and just started eating the casserole off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

993

You deserved it

118

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66930

You deserved it

4162

Favorite

By Debbie - United States

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37311

You deserved it

8898

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41650

You deserved it

4172

Favorite

By sara - United States

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44089

You deserved it

10401

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27824

You deserved it

46553

Favorite

By hyphen - 9/12/2020 18:01 - United States - Denver

The patriarchy rules

Today, I was talking to a new friend when I told him my last name. It’s hyphenated. He then left and declared me to be a "stuck-up bitch" who thinks she’s "too good to take a man’s last name." This is the name I was born with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

864

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymouse - United States

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34521

You deserved it

4770

Favorite

By oumalina - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40904

You deserved it

8387

Favorite

By elle

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36224

You deserved it

4127

Favorite

By Norwegian - Norway

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

I agree, your life sucks

28847

You deserved it

7332

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Slippery Rock

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42422

You deserved it

4238

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46843

You deserved it

4738

Favorite

By phantomthelabrat - United States - Fargo

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43459

You deserved it

4209

Favorite

By Merry F-ing birthmas - 20/12/2020 11:01 - Australia - Brisbane

They targeted gamers!

Today, as he has all day for the last 3 days, my husband has been playing Cyberpunk 2077. However, it's my birthday. When I mentioned this fact, I was told to just walk the 4 miles to the store and buy a cake, "if it matters so much." I have celiac and he spent our grocery money on the game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1539

You deserved it

317

Favorite

By E_G_G_S_O_U_P

Today whilst riding my brand new dirt bike for the first time, the chain broke and slashed me down the back of the left leg with such force that it chipped the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9888

You deserved it

654

Favorite

By Chuncan Duncan - 1/4/2021 15:59 - United Kingdom

Teenagers

Today, my wife and I can’t decide if we should force my stepson to wait when he rudely demands something, in the hope he’ll learn patience and some manners, or just give him what he wants so he’ll go away and stop making us miserable. He’s 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks

280

You deserved it

1119

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7566940 - Wednesday 22 November 2017 20:06

Apparently she's an even closer friend of your husband....

By thatslifeiguess7 | 15

#7572315 - Wednesday 6 December 2017 18:59

It's always best friend or sister! File divorce and take him for every damn red cent he has! Good grief this is why my bag lives across the USA! Seriously, my ex bff slept with my ex in my house!

COMMENTS

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7566940 - Wednesday 22 November 2017 20:06

Apparently she's an even closer friend of your husband....

By Zachary8261 | 28

#7572242 - Wednesday 6 December 2017 15:00

Hope to God you get everything in the divorce.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7572271 - Wednesday 6 December 2017 16:08

You can still give your children a PlayStation and iPhones and win Christmas this year!

By blahblabbity | 19

#7572294 - Wednesday 6 December 2017 17:40

“may”? she’s not sure who the father is?0

PenguinPal3017 | 19

#7572449 - Thursday 7 December 2017 3:14

It might be a half-brother, or may not come to full term.

By NostalgiaFreak9 | 40

#7572314 - Wednesday 6 December 2017 18:57

If your best friend is pro-life, for Christmas, give her pamphlets for various abortion clinics. And be sure to give your (ex) husband blue and black testicles.

By thatslifeiguess7 | 15

#7572315 - Wednesday 6 December 2017 18:59

It's always best friend or sister! File divorce and take him for every damn red cent he has! Good grief this is why my bag lives across the USA! Seriously, my ex bff slept with my ex in my house!

Mynxie | 26

#7573015 - Friday 8 December 2017 16:08

That's why I keep guy friends who are straight. No way in hell is my boyfriend sleeping with them ha-ha

By TheMean1 | 6

#7572363 - Wednesday 6 December 2017 21:15

You don't happen to be from California?

By tragic1992 | 20

#7572372 - Wednesday 6 December 2017 21:35

I know this feeling!!! Here right now xx

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7572459 - Thursday 7 December 2017 4:24

"it's the most wonderful time of the yeeaaarrrr!"

By Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 | 20

#7572473 - Thursday 7 December 2017 6:32

You made a spelling error there...
You said she was a close friend