By Une Fille - 18/12/2011 05:18 - Canada

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 274
You deserved it 44 263

Same thing different taste

Top comments

perdix 29

Algebra fail! The problem is stated as an inequality. (Number of sex toys) > 1 x age Therefore, the OP must be 18 or younger.


That is a shitload of sex toys you got there. #foreveralone

You. Have. A. Problem. PS. 28, hashtags don't work on here.

61, theres the regular hole, butthole, 2 earholes, 2 nostrils, a mouth, bellybutton, bullethole...need i go on?

74, I'm going to rip you a new hole if you do.

Not all sex toys are used alone, or used in a hole. Some are for bondage and other stuff.

7 hours! I did it in 4 and half hours...

unitedfan11 0

Hey think of it in this way. You like to try new things.

aruam365 24

Even if you're not using all of the "toys" on your own, 19 is really excessive. If you need that many toys to keep things exciting for just you, or you and your partner, then something is wrong!

jayAZ 3

Having 19 sex toys isn't a huge deal, having to clean them all at the same time however...

u either like that freaky shit or need a dick in your life

160, Something is wrong with you telling other people what they should be doing in their sex life... @OP more than one per year of life..? So that makes you what, 9? One more than the number of years I've been alive would have made more sense.

alexd10293 0

Isnt it more always that he walked in on you CLEANING them? I mean, if they were just used that sucks...

DetLions32 6

She/he is cheating on the toys

Just laugh it off and pretend like it didn't happen? You're 19 years old and (I assume) in least he didn't walk in on an entire frat running a train on you?

perdix 29

Algebra fail! The problem is stated as an inequality. (Number of sex toys) > 1 x age Therefore, the OP must be 18 or younger.

Wtf is an 18 year old or younger doing with that many sex toys? And my mistake, here in the US you have to be 18+ to buy them.

Perhaps OP bought them ALL after she turned 18.

But why that many, being that she's only 18?

OP is clearly a social butterfly. And by that I mean she must eat a lot of butter, and is too heavy to fly. That answers the "why no boyfriend and a load of sex toys" and the "why be so lazy that your parents pick you up to take you home" questions.

hawaiianfire 0

Or 55 she uses her sex toys with a partner, it would make a lot of sense if she is lezzing out. And all the men here can picture this beautiful 18 year old with an over active sex life living amongst us. Then again, I guess assuming that "she's fat and has no friends and that's why she needs the sex toys is a better image." Personally I'd rather assume that she's hot, rather than her being fat.

What a strangely articulate debate, considering the subject.

Or she has friends who buy gift packs of ****** as a joke for birthdays.

SwtCherryPie 26

You don't have to be 18 to buy sex toys. Only 18 to go into an adult store. You can buy sex toys online. Or in Spencer's.

36- She clearly lives in Canada so the US rules don't matter.

I recieved a ***** on my 14 birthday from a group of friends. I'm a male. (best friends ever)

desireev 17

Actually... Yes you DO have to be 18 to buy them.. It's the law.. Just like you have to be 18 to buy ****. Alot of underage kids watch **** and use sex toys. But they didn't get them legally. They probably used their parents credit cards or something. Just because they are on the Internet and in some stores does not mean that kids can buy them.

desireev 17

Also, she lives in Canada. I don't know the rules up there. But I know that they are different than the US.

She could have gotten them playing dirty bingo, or another game where the prize is sex toys. To clear up confusion I am fairly sure that in Canada you have to be 18, but again friends could have given them to her instead of her buying them.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

So what if she has that many? Better 19 sex toys before 18 than 19 boyfriends before 18. Maybe if they handed out free ****** and vibrators in school there would be less teen pregnancies.

jarico75 1

The laws vary state by state. Not all states have the 18 year old rule.

totallydonteven 5

Except, 124, she's in Canada, so state laws matter not since Canada doesn't have states. It has provinces.

Blackmail111 9

Hah "Master debater" that sounds hilarious considering they're talking about ******

Ignorant people, like 99 bug me. Yes the law in some places clearly state you must be 18. But most stores don't card you to make sure you are 18. Just like bars and liquor stores don't always card. And just because she lives in Canada does not change this fact. I'm done. Return to your trolling everyone!

RedPillSucks 31

*OP browsing in the sex toy store* Sales: May I help you ma'am? OP: They all look so fabulous, I must have them all Sales: You must keep them clean And for goodness sakes, don't get them wet after midnight?

desireev 17

Hey 161- I might get on your nerves but that is only because I am correct. Just because there are idiots who don't give a shit whether they keep their job by selling to underage kids doesn't mean that it's okay or legal. I only annoy you because I am correct. And I'll bet you're the one giving cigarettes and beer to 13 year old kids!!

desireev 17

Oh! I just figured out another reason you think I'm ignorant... CAUSE YOU ARE STILL AN UNDERAGE KID!! Become of age and an adult then come back and talk to me about this subject.. Until then, don't forget to do your homework and your chores..

Iamaninchworm 0

12- It also states the difference must be < 1, not greater than or equal to. If she has 19 sex toys she must be 17 or younger.

Aukaure 3

183 - Cigarettes and beer aren't the same as sex toys and ****, regardless of the legality of either.

It seems a lot of people think you are quite dumb, desireev. Perhaps you should just stop before you hurt yourself. *monocle adjust* Derp on, fml friends, derp on.

thomas9753 0

186 no one has liked any of your comments maybe take the hint and shut the front door

ak4608 8

#73 you don't have to clean joke unused sex toys..

197- Actually it says that # of sex toys / # years > 1. So 19/x > 1 so 19>x which means that her age is less than 19 so 18 or younger.

In Canada, you have to be 18+ to buy sex toys. Just to clear things up.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Wow, I can't believe someone actually compared cigarettes and beer to sex toys. Alcohol and tobacco are both quite harmful, even more so than they are made out to be. Sex toys? Absolutely no risk of anything. You can't even pull the pregnancy/ std excuse here. I am an adult and I fully advocate sex toys for teenagers of almost all ages, depending.

186, chill. The. ****. Out. She is 3 years younger than you. 1) You don't look mature because you arrogantly bitch out younger commenters. 2) I really doubt that you achieved that much more life-knowledge in your - *le gasp!* - 20 years in this world. You really need to calm down a bit.

LaylaaMariee 0

If she has 19 sex toys and she said she has ONE more than for each year she's been alive. That means she's 18. Simple math bro. Come on now, you an do this.

LaylaaMariee 0

About time somebody put that bitch in her place. Lol.

Math is a crutch. D: man so many people hating on Des. However, almost all websites that sell plastic dongs and creepy strap-ons, etc require age verification. Never bought toys from Spencer's, but places like Adam & Eve and Priscilla-McCall's card you every time you make a purchase and sometimes card you as you come in the door. Yeah, I imagine some places or stricter than others... Still creeps me out that one sex toy isn't enough o.O.

Please read to post again. She did not say that she had "one" more than years lived. She said more than one per years lived.

I am Canadian so let's settle this. Yes you have to be 18 years old anywhere in Canada so she either splurged after her 18th birthday or she received them as a gift from older friends or maybe she coulda just bought them online. Now you can go back to your arguing. (: My work here is done.

Hah, master debater, let's shorten that to master-bater

Hah, master debater, let's shorten that to master-bater

265 - you were beat to it like 5 different times -_- I realized this about an hour later when I reread it =

famesetmatch1234 0
famesetmatch1234 0

Where did it say she had no boyfriend, exactly..? Maybe you could point that out for us. Sex toys =/= single.

186, honestly, she/he might be younger than you physically, but not mentally. Grow up mentally please. There's nothing more annoying than an arrogant, immature person.

because the difference between 18 and 19 is so big

Crea8urWorld 5

Healthy sex life = healthy life

You might have a healthy sex life but that can bring alot of unhealthy things... Such as herpes and the crabs...

27 - Well that's not really a healthy sex life then...

desireev 17

Healthy sex life WITH YOUR SPOUSE = healthy life. That's how that one really goes. NOT healthy sex life with yourself = healthy life.

bizarre_ftw 21

Sex life with at least one partner and supplemented by yourself = a healthy sex life.

bizarre_ftw 21

Healthy sex life = less stress, more fit A healthy sex life does not technically equal a healthy life, but it's surely a component of it. Though that's not to say you can't have a healthy life without sex. So basically a healthy sex life simply improves a healthy life

TaylorTotsYumm 10

An ****** a day keeps the doctor away!

ShroomsOnAcid 16

168, You have a point about the right man, and while I have found him and he is able to completely satisfy me, my sex drive is way too high to be able to get enough when he's away for work. When I could get my way before, literally all we'd do all day is have sex. Not everybody's situation and body is the same.

Then it's not a "healthy" sex life, is it?

MerrikBarbarian 9

Right man? So what happens to us lesbians? Just sayin ;p Also ************ is part of a healthy sex life- when you have a partner. You need to know your own body to show your partner what pleases you. Most therapists will recommend it when a couple is having problems in bed as a first step. Also people have varying stamina levels so they can have fantastic sex and one is happy with that but the other is still pent up.

I swear the first time I read this comment it said ==. I agree that a healthy sex life is a good thing.

"healthy" being the key word here. You can have a healthy sex life without being full of STDs.

@59 virginity is very underrated, especially with kids.

lizzypooh36 18

that's awkward. hope you had fun on the ride home!

hero3460 3
SpeshulK 0

I think he's implying "fun" in a dirty way. Not sure though

Cleaning them... All at once... With her ******... LOL.

RedPillSucks 31

All at once? I'd pay to see that!

bizarre_ftw 21

180 - you may not have to, the Internet is a vast and disturbed place

mysterious_chan 7

Thats not going to be weird at all! :D

thread jacking! hey she lives in the same region that I do! stalking mode enabled!

To be honest getting all of those out was asking for trouble.. Anyone could have dropped by.. And why so many? You only have 3 holes, that's just greedy.

indielove 13

I believe the key word here is "cleaning"

Yeh I gather they were only out for cleaning purposes but seriously.. Why own that many? Settle on your favourites then ditch the rest

There are so many different type of toys out on the market. Not only things like vibrators/******. I can go through a list if you like. I just did inventory on mine. Lol All clean at the present time.

SwtCherryPie 26

Whats gross is you know she didnt just use all 19 of them. You are supposed to clean them when you are done using them before they get put up or they will start growing bacteria on them. Gawd I hope you dont use and reuse them all the time and only pick 1 day a month or however often to just clean them up.

I agree totally 19 toys seriously. I have 1 and it more than does the job!!!!

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Everyone is different. It could be because of a very high sex drive. It could also be a very low sex drive, for which having more options would be useful. For women who have trouble getting off, it would make sense to experiment with varying types of stimulation. No need to be judgmental.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

And why do guys need to use all 3 holes? You only have one dick. That's just greedy.

kaykay20 0

Each hole has a different sensation and feel. Nothing greedy about both partners wanting to experience a new enjoyable sensation during sex.

mynewaccount 8

I wonder how that car ride was.

I would say akward and possible the quietest ride ever.. But that's jus what I think lol

perdix 29

19? Do you like simulating bukkake parties? What do you use to clean them? Is it like the ball washer at the golf course?

Algebra fail! The problem is stated as an inequality. 19 sex toys > The number of years old she is. Therefore, she must be 18 or younger.

What are you blabbering on about? That issue has been addressed. You aren't funny.

You are an idiot. It's obvious that the person is talking about number of toys. Not age.

maz255 10
IKickPuppiesHard 16

Now he knows what not to get you for christmas.

on the contrary, he now knows EXACTLY what to get her!