Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
Add a comment
Top comments
COMMENTS
By
rhcpalex93
| 0
first
Reply
Jovecove
| 13
That is a shitload of sex toys you got there. #foreveralone
Reply
ScaughtieHolden
| 11
You. Have. A. Problem.
PS. 28, hashtags don't work on here.
PS. 28, hashtags don't work on here.
Reply
VoteForTaco
| 8
You don't even have 19 holes...Or do you?
Reply
thisisafunnyname
| 12
61, theres the regular hole, butthole, 2 earholes, 2 nostrils, a mouth, bellybutton, bullethole...need i go on?
Reply
Saltime
| 0
74, I'm going to rip you a new hole if you do.
Reply
ferrettamer
| 6
Not all sex toys are used alone, or used in a hole. Some are for bondage and other stuff.
Reply
muhaidib
| 2
7 hours! I did it in 4 and half hours...
Reply
unitedfan11
| 0
Hey think of it in this way. You like to try new things.
Reply
aruam365
| 24
Even if you're not using all of the "toys" on your own, 19 is really excessive. If you need that many toys to keep things exciting for just you, or you and your partner, then something is wrong!
Reply
jayAZ
| 3
You're a judgemental hole!
Reply
maybeeiwill
| 11
Having 19 sex toys isn't a huge deal, having to clean them all at the same time however...
Reply
gdcoll01
| 2
u either like that freaky shit or need a dick in your life
Reply
downtime
| 12
160, Something is wrong with you telling other people what they should be doing in their sex life...
@OP more than one per year of life..? So that makes you what, 9? One more than the number of years I've been alive would have made more sense.
@OP more than one per year of life..? So that makes you what, 9? One more than the number of years I've been alive would have made more sense.
Reply
gabrielmorales
| 0
Shutup
Reply
alexd10293
| 0
Fucking canadians
Reply
MrShizzBear
| 0
Isnt it more always that he walked in on you CLEANING them? I mean, if they were just used that sucks...
Reply
DetLions32
| 6
She/he is cheating on the toys
By
ProhibitionRose
| 14
Just laugh it off and pretend like it didn't happen? You're 19 years old and (I assume) in college...at least he didn't walk in on an entire frat running a train on you?
Reply
perdix
| 29
Algebra fail!
The problem is stated as an inequality.
(Number of sex toys) > 1 x age
Therefore, the OP must be 18 or younger.
The problem is stated as an inequality.
(Number of sex toys) > 1 x age
Therefore, the OP must be 18 or younger.
Reply
docscientist
| 9
I'm sorry, but this made me laugh.
Reply
ProhibitionRose
| 14
Wtf is an 18 year old or younger doing with that many sex toys? And my mistake, here in the US you have to be 18+ to buy them.
Reply
5t3ff1k4h
| 44
Perhaps OP bought them ALL after she turned 18.
Reply
ty1992_farmlife
| 12
But why that many, being that she's only 18?
Reply
yetanotherginger
| 19
OP is clearly a social butterfly.
And by that I mean she must eat a lot of butter, and is too heavy to fly.
That answers the "why no boyfriend and a load of sex toys" and the "why be so lazy that your parents pick you up to take you home" questions.
And by that I mean she must eat a lot of butter, and is too heavy to fly.
That answers the "why no boyfriend and a load of sex toys" and the "why be so lazy that your parents pick you up to take you home" questions.
Reply
hawaiianfire
| 0
Or 55 she uses her sex toys with a partner, it would make a lot of sense if she is lezzing out. And all the men here can picture this beautiful 18 year old with an over active sex life living amongst us. Then again, I guess assuming that "she's fat and has no friends and that's why she needs the sex toys is a better image." Personally I'd rather assume that she's hot, rather than her being fat.
Reply
docscientist
| 9
What a strangely articulate debate, considering the subject.
Reply
shannonreneee
| 11
Or she has friends who buy gift packs of dildos as a joke for birthdays.
Reply
SwtCherryPie
| 26
#64 i agree with you
Reply
fthismess
| 10
You don't have to be 18 to buy sex toys. Only 18 to go into an adult store. You can buy sex toys online. Or in Spencer's.
Reply
max500
| 4
36- She clearly lives in Canada so the US rules don't matter.
Reply
schpanki
| 11
I recieved a dildo on my 14 birthday from a group of friends. I'm a male.
(best friends ever)
(best friends ever)
Reply
desireev
| 17
Actually... Yes you DO have to be 18 to buy them.. It's the law.. Just like you have to be 18 to buy porn. Alot of underage kids watch porn and use sex toys. But they didn't get them legally. They probably used their parents credit cards or something. Just because they are on the Internet and in some stores does not mean that kids can buy them.
Reply
desireev
| 17
Also, she lives in Canada. I don't know the rules up there. But I know that they are different than the US.
Reply
Vamphyre73
| 12
She could have gotten them playing dirty bingo, or another game where the prize is sex toys. To clear up confusion I am fairly sure that in Canada you have to be 18, but again friends could have given them to her instead of her buying them.
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
So what if she has that many? Better 19 sex toys before 18 than 19 boyfriends before 18. Maybe if they handed out free dildos and vibrators in school there would be less teen pregnancies.
Reply
jarico75
| 1
The laws vary state by state. Not all states have the 18 year old rule.
Reply
totallydonteven
| 5
Except, 124, she's in Canada, so state laws matter not since Canada doesn't have states. It has provinces.
Reply
Blackmail111
| 9
Hah "Master debater" that sounds hilarious considering they're talking about dildos
Reply
KYLAisaBITCH
| 4
36- OP is in Canada.
Reply
EvilLilCupcake
| 10
Ignorant people, like 99 bug me. Yes the law in some places clearly state you must be 18. But most stores don't card you to make sure you are 18. Just like bars and liquor stores don't always card. And just because she lives in Canada does not change this fact.
I'm done. Return to your trolling everyone!
I'm done. Return to your trolling everyone!
Reply
Britter903
| 6
Why???
Reply
thetoxiclion
| 4
:P
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
*OP browsing in the sex toy store*
Sales: May I help you ma'am?
OP: They all look so fabulous, I must have them all
Sales: You must keep them clean
And for goodness sakes, don't get them wet after midnight?
Sales: May I help you ma'am?
OP: They all look so fabulous, I must have them all
Sales: You must keep them clean
And for goodness sakes, don't get them wet after midnight?
Reply
desireev
| 17
Hey 161- I might get on your nerves but that is only because I am correct. Just because there are idiots who don't give a shit whether they keep their job by selling to underage kids doesn't mean that it's okay or legal. I only annoy you because I am correct. And I'll bet you're the one giving cigarettes and beer to 13 year old kids!!
Reply
desireev
| 17
Oh! I just figured out another reason you think I'm ignorant... CAUSE YOU ARE STILL AN UNDERAGE KID!! Become of age and an adult then come back and talk to me about this subject.. Until then, don't forget to do your homework and your chores..
Reply
KaySL
| 24
Poor form. Very poor form. You just killed your credibility with that one.
Reply
Iamaninchworm
| 0
12- It also states the difference must be < 1, not greater than or equal to. If she has 19 sex toys she must be 17 or younger.
Reply
Aukaure
| 3
183 - Cigarettes and beer aren't the same as sex toys and porn, regardless of the legality of either.
Reply
katt_is_here
| 24
It seems a lot of people think you are quite dumb, desireev. Perhaps you should just stop before you hurt yourself.
*monocle adjust* Derp on, fml friends, derp on.
*monocle adjust* Derp on, fml friends, derp on.
Reply
thomas9753
| 0
186 no one has liked any of your comments maybe take the hint and shut the front door
Reply
bebohacker1
| 4
192- what credibilty? Lol
Reply
ak4608
| 8
#73 you don't have to clean joke unused sex toys..
Reply
KYCats95
| 5
197- Actually it says that # of sex toys / # years > 1. So 19/x > 1 so 19>x which means that her age is less than 19 so 18 or younger.
Reply
babyfireball77
| 14
In Canada, you have to be 18+ to buy sex toys. Just to clear things up.
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
Wow, I can't believe someone actually compared cigarettes and beer to sex toys. Alcohol and tobacco are both quite harmful, even more so than they are made out to be. Sex toys? Absolutely no risk of anything. You can't even pull the pregnancy/ std excuse here. I am an adult and I fully advocate sex toys for teenagers of almost all ages, depending.
Reply
ILoveEmoes
| 9
186, chill. The. Fuck. Out.
She is 3 years younger than you.
1) You don't look mature because you arrogantly bitch out younger commenters.
2) I really doubt that you achieved that much more life-knowledge in your - *le gasp!* - 20 years in this world.
You really need to calm down a bit.
She is 3 years younger than you.
1) You don't look mature because you arrogantly bitch out younger commenters.
2) I really doubt that you achieved that much more life-knowledge in your - *le gasp!* - 20 years in this world.
You really need to calm down a bit.
Reply
LaylaaMariee
| 0
If she has 19 sex toys and she said she has ONE more than for each year she's been alive. That means she's 18. Simple math bro. Come on now, you an do this.
Reply
LaylaaMariee
| 0
About time somebody put that bitch in her place. Lol.
Reply
ProhibitionRose
| 14
Math is a crutch. D: man so many people hating on Des. However, almost all websites that sell plastic dongs and creepy strap-ons, etc require age verification. Never bought toys from Spencer's, but places like Adam & Eve and Priscilla-McCall's card you every time you make a purchase and sometimes card you as you come in the door. Yeah, I imagine some places or stricter than others... Still creeps me out that one sex toy isn't enough o.O.
Reply
wooley29
| 8
Please read to post again. She did not say that she had "one" more than years lived. She said more than one per years lived.
Reply
mitchiemoto
| 7
I am Canadian so let's settle this. Yes you have to be 18 years old anywhere in Canada so she either splurged after her 18th birthday or she received them as a gift from older friends or maybe she coulda just bought them online. Now you can go back to your arguing. (: My work here is done.
Reply
skoob
| 4
Hah, master debater, let's shorten that to master-bater
Reply
skoob
| 4
Hah, master debater, let's shorten that to master-bater
Reply
ProhibitionRose
| 14
265 - you were beat to it like 5 different times -_- I realized this about an hour later when I reread it =
Reply
famesetmatch1234
| 0
Op lives in Quebec
Reply
famesetmatch1234
| 0
Op lives in Quebec
Reply
PedoPancakes
| 7
Well said #250
Reply
Shenannigoats
| 16
Where did it say she had no boyfriend, exactly..? Maybe you could point that out for us.
Sex toys =/= single.
Sex toys =/= single.
Reply
Clioo_fml
| 17
186, honestly, she/he might be younger than you physically, but not mentally. Grow up mentally please. There's nothing more annoying than an arrogant, immature person.
Reply
EmperorChowilio
| 21
because the difference between 18 and 19 is so big
By
Crea8urWorld
| 5
Healthy sex life = healthy life
Reply
deviable
| 9
You've obviously never had sex.
Reply
Kyzahhh
| 7
You might have a healthy sex life but that can bring alot of unhealthy things... Such as herpes and the crabs...
Reply
MissMae93
| 23
27 - Well that's not really a healthy sex life then...
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
No sex life = virgin
:(
:(
Reply
desireev
| 17
Healthy sex life WITH YOUR SPOUSE = healthy life. That's how that one really goes. NOT healthy sex life with yourself = healthy life.
Reply
bizarre_ftw
| 21
Sex life with at least one partner and supplemented by yourself = a healthy sex life.
Reply
bizarre_ftw
| 21
Healthy sex life = less stress, more fit
A healthy sex life does not technically equal a healthy life, but it's surely a component of it. Though that's not to say you can't have a healthy life without sex. So basically a healthy sex life simply improves a healthy life
A healthy sex life does not technically equal a healthy life, but it's surely a component of it. Though that's not to say you can't have a healthy life without sex. So basically a healthy sex life simply improves a healthy life
Reply
TaylorTotsYumm
| 10
An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away!
Reply
ilikepanties
| 0
Fuck yes.
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
168, You have a point about the right man, and while I have found him and he is able to completely satisfy me, my sex drive is way too high to be able to get enough when he's away for work. When I could get my way before, literally all we'd do all day is have sex. Not everybody's situation and body is the same.
Reply
Bullpine
| 11
Then it's not a "healthy" sex life, is it?
Reply
MerrikBarbarian
| 9
Right man? So what happens to us lesbians? Just sayin ;p
Also masterbation is part of a healthy sex life- when you have a partner. You need to know your own body to show your partner what pleases you. Most therapists will recommend it when a couple is having problems in bed as a first step. Also people have varying stamina levels so they can have fantastic sex and one is happy with that but the other is still pent up.
Also masterbation is part of a healthy sex life- when you have a partner. You need to know your own body to show your partner what pleases you. Most therapists will recommend it when a couple is having problems in bed as a first step. Also people have varying stamina levels so they can have fantastic sex and one is happy with that but the other is still pent up.
Reply
dannyp18
| 3
Your like seem to think so at 69
Reply
deviable
| 9
I swear the first time I read this comment it said ==. I agree that a healthy sex life is a good thing.
Reply
deviable
| 9
Wtf =/=*
Reply
Shenannigoats
| 16
"healthy" being the key word here. You can have a healthy sex life without being full of STDs.
Reply
Shenannigoats
| 16
I bet you're no fun at parties.
Reply
cat0720
| 9
@59 virginity is very underrated, especially with kids.
By
lizzypooh36
| 18
that's awkward. hope you had fun on the ride home!
Reply
hero3460
| 3
I see what you did there -_-
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
^No. Enlighten us.
Reply
SpeshulK
| 0
I think he's implying "fun" in a dirty way. Not sure though
By
ollie179
| 21
Well at least you weren't using them.
Reply
JBrownie123
| 24
Cleaning them... All at once... With her vagina... LOL.
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
All at once? I'd pay to see that!
Reply
bizarre_ftw
| 21
180 - you may not have to, the Internet is a vast and disturbed place
By
mysterious_chan
| 7
Thats not going to be weird at all! :D
Reply
OMGIFOUNDWALDO
| 6
thread jacking! hey she lives in the same region that I do! stalking mode enabled!
Reply
mysterious_chan
| 7
O_o
By
nephilim241
| 19
To be honest getting all of those out was asking for trouble.. Anyone could have dropped by.. And why so many? You only have 3 holes, that's just greedy.
Reply
indielove
| 13
I believe the key word here is "cleaning"
Reply
nephilim241
| 19
Yeh I gather they were only out for cleaning purposes but seriously.. Why own that many? Settle on your favourites then ditch the rest
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
There are so many different type of toys out on the market. Not only things like vibrators/dildos. I can go through a list if you like. I just did inventory on mine. Lol All clean at the present time.
Reply
SwtCherryPie
| 26
Whats gross is you know she didnt just use all 19 of them. You are supposed to clean them when you are done using them before they get put up or they will start growing bacteria on them. Gawd I hope you dont use and reuse them all the time and only pick 1 day a month or however often to just clean them up.
Reply
bbabygirl7337
| 1
I agree totally 19 toys seriously. I have 1 and it more than does the job!!!!
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
Everyone is different. It could be because of a very high sex drive. It could also be a very low sex drive, for which having more options would be useful. For women who have trouble getting off, it would make sense to experiment with varying types of stimulation. No need to be judgmental.
Reply
ShroomsOnAcid
| 16
And why do guys need to use all 3 holes? You only have one dick. That's just greedy.
Reply
kaykay20
| 0
Each hole has a different sensation and feel. Nothing greedy about both partners wanting to experience a new enjoyable sensation during sex.
By
mynewaccount
| 8
I wonder how that car ride was.
Reply
ty1992_farmlife
| 12
I would say akward and possible the quietest ride ever..
But that's jus what I think lol
But that's jus what I think lol
By
perdix
| 29
19? Do you like simulating bukkake parties?
What do you use to clean them? Is it like the ball washer at the golf course?
What do you use to clean them? Is it like the ball washer at the golf course?
Reply
MikeDa1Da
| 14
Algebra fail!
The problem is stated as an inequality.
19 sex toys > The number of years old she is.
Therefore, she must be 18 or younger.
The problem is stated as an inequality.
19 sex toys > The number of years old she is.
Therefore, she must be 18 or younger.
Reply
Fizzabelle
| 9
What are you blabbering on about? That issue has been addressed. You aren't funny.
Reply
TrollololSlayer
| 3
*Facepalm.
Reply
MikeDa1Da
| 14
Y dus ur but hurt so badly?
Reply
cat0720
| 9
You are an idiot. It's obvious that the person is talking about number of toys. Not age.
Reply
maz255
| 10
Y dus ur humor suck?
By
IKickPuppiesHard
| 16
Now he knows what not to get you for christmas.
Reply
LullzKitteh
| 1
on the contrary, he now knows EXACTLY what to get her!
The problem is stated as an inequality.
(Number of sex toys) > 1 x age
Therefore, the OP must be 18 or younger.