By Une Fille - 18/12/2011 05:18 - Canada

Spicy
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 282
You deserved it 44 277
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Top comments

perdix 29

Algebra fail! The problem is stated as an inequality. (Number of sex toys) > 1 x age Therefore, the OP must be 18 or younger.

334 14

Comments

rexgar2000 10

that's some kinky shit. That many toys? what do you do? O.O

48 7
firemanbjr 1

And what did you learn from this? Always lock your doors.

44 2
ruusk 6

Tenner bet you weigh as many in stones as you have in sex toys! (for non UK peeps 1 stone equals 14 pounds)

8 53
perdix 29

If that's the case, I'll bet that she has them daisy-chained on a long tether. Otherwise, some could go missing in her rolls and pop out at inopportune moments.

11 8
ruusk 6

I like the way you think, you also had her best interests at heart not wanting her to have more FML's haha

4 11
keepingitnasty 15

I'm sure your pops has seen a ***** before, if you don't bring it up on the car ride, I doubt he will. Kudos on the collection sweethart.

31 8
Pentium_4 27

that must be harder for your dad than you

35 4
deviable 9

"harder" eh? I apologize. Just take me out back and shoot me now.

37 4
ShroomsOnAcid 16

Can I have the body?

1 10
deviable 9

Why on earth would you need so many sex toys? If you're looking for variety I could maybe see 5 or so, but 19??

29 13
Steve95401 49

There must be at least one or two guys around her college that OP could use in place of her toys. I'm sure a lot of guys would volunteer for that duty.

2 33
IndigoAcrylic 9

Welllll they do come on an array of colours shapes, styles, textures and sizes...Just like shoes! ;D So yaa I can see why people collect them ^_^ I LOVE SHOES BY THE WAYYY ;D

11 11
Shrike 23

^ You high, trolling, or just plain stupid?

13 8
Steve95401 49

I wonder if OP's roommate knew about her collection.

3 16
jobsman99 0

Now your Dad knows to buy you batteries for Christmas. Nice collection. My wife and ind I have many sex toys, they spice things up.

13 11
Enslaved 36

Should have cleaned them as you used them....unless you did? Than damn!

25 4
meirasanya 10

Why were you cleaning them all at once? Surely you just use one and clean it straight after. So either you're gross or you were using all 19 just beforehand.

27 5