By Workplace woes - United States - San Francisco Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML I agree, your life sucks 14046 You deserved it 1001 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Evanston Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML I agree, your life sucks 38940 You deserved it 2376 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Macungie Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML I agree, your life sucks 36748 You deserved it 3136 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sad_panda - United States Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML I agree, your life sucks 46123 You deserved it 6921 191 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 14:00 Scarred Today, my niece asked why my veins were so close to my skin. She was referring to my stretch marks. FML I agree, your life sucks 1200 You deserved it 145 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah-D Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML I agree, your life sucks 16156 Phew, glad it wasn't me 2221 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kanmcdan Today, my boyfriend and I went on a Snowshoeing date. I felt sick and suggested we turn back. He said I could wait in the car and continued on the date alone. He was gone for hours, while I was stuck alone in a national park with no cell reception, food, or water. FML I agree, your life sucks 2342 You deserved it 376 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By caughttt - United States Never cross the streams Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML I agree, your life sucks 11221 You deserved it 43441 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML I agree, your life sucks 38211 You deserved it 16271 271 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sad guy - United States Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML I agree, your life sucks 58185 You deserved it 3094 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Make it easy on yourself Today, I had depressive feelings, so I decided to write about it to find out what was bothering me, and let go of the negative thoughts. While doing so, I had a panic attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 1470 You deserved it 187 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By haileypaige123 - United States Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 25430 You deserved it 6986 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scaredwitless - United States Spooky Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 51771 You deserved it 5988 257 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By drchinky888 - Spain - Barcelona Today, I was having dinner at my aunt's house who just migrated to Germany from India and doesn't know any German. I asked for the recipe of a dish and she said that she has been buying these cans with cute kitty picture and just adds spices to it. Catfood is delicious I must admit. FML I agree, your life sucks 12208 You deserved it 974 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By It was the 11 year old - United States - Austin Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML I agree, your life sucks 29814 You deserved it 4999 171 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TayTay - United States Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML I agree, your life sucks 58822 You deserved it 12403 249 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML I agree, your life sucks 26695 You deserved it 7581 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML I agree, your life sucks 37057 You deserved it 3817 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Singapore Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML I agree, your life sucks 41659 You deserved it 3811 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - Guayanilla Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML I agree, your life sucks 25234 You deserved it 4360 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By emegemerald - United States Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 33652 You deserved it 2606 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Tallahassee Today, my ex-boyfriend dumped sand into the crankcase of my truck and then filled it to the top with water after I dumped him for being immature and not respecting my things. FML I agree, your life sucks 32410 You deserved it 3466 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Norfolk Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 33303 You deserved it 4900 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kole Today, I got the most painful neck cramp of my life after whipping my head back in laughter at something that wasn't even funny. FML I agree, your life sucks 5496 You deserved it 1823 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By apav - Australia Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML I agree, your life sucks 85765 You deserved it 24357 224 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/3/2020 18:00 - Netherlands - Bergeyk Help this person out, please? Today, I have no close friends, only "people I know and occasionally talk to." I have no idea how I got here, and how to re-socialize back. FML I agree, your life sucks 1535 You deserved it 180 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 32416 You deserved it 4317 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML I agree, your life sucks 33200 You deserved it 9219 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sarahfromthesouth - United States Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML I agree, your life sucks 43480 You deserved it 7503 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Appelflap - Belgium - Sint-niklaas Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML I agree, your life sucks 36485 You deserved it 2774 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I had to get my picture taken for a volunteer badge at the hospital. My sister came home and told my parents that she had a horrible day at work. They showed her my picture to cheer her up. FML I agree, your life sucks 1681 You deserved it 140 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Juliet Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML I agree, your life sucks 46858 You deserved it 5906 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Un1ucky - United States Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML I agree, your life sucks 56681 You deserved it 7413 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThatsNotRight - United States Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML I agree, your life sucks 8855 You deserved it 30926 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By booste - Canada Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML I agree, your life sucks 45618 You deserved it 2246 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Taylors Today, I was playing basketball in the searing heat with my friends. I jokingly told my friend that I was gonna die if I stayed out there much longer. Two minutes later, I got the ball and made the shot that won. Too bad I didn't see it, since I collapsed right as I took the shot and blacked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 13980 You deserved it 1379 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By engaged - United States Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML I agree, your life sucks 113868 You deserved it 24173 504 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend came over with a broken engraved bracelet that I paid 50 dollars for. I was so angry but when I stated "I am going to call them and get a new one!" my boyfriend said back to me "No it's okay, I didn't really like it anyways." It was for our 2 year anniversary. FML I agree, your life sucks 22985 You deserved it 15121 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Birdwatcher - United States - Woodstock Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML I agree, your life sucks 29070 You deserved it 4711 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tryingatkins - United States Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML I agree, your life sucks 40054 You deserved it 7298 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sparky83000 - Canada Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML I agree, your life sucks 25054 You deserved it 1434 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ekh0es | 36 #6604484 - Friday 13 May 2016 2:47 I think that would qualify as sexual har-ass-ment. Send a private message 162 4 Reply
By woainishamu | 21 #6604482 - Friday 13 May 2016 2:46 Your coworker sounds like an ass. Send a private message 82 4 Reply
By woainishamu | 21 #6604482 - Friday 13 May 2016 2:46 Your coworker sounds like an ass. Send a private message 82 4 Reply
By Ekh0es | 36 #6604484 - Friday 13 May 2016 2:47 I think that would qualify as sexual har-ass-ment. Send a private message 162 4 Reply
Reply garc1795 | 8 #6604570 - Friday 13 May 2016 4:51 Showing OP pictures of Her-ass-meant she wants the D. lmao Send a private message 3 8 Reply
Reply BananEnigma | 24 #6604604 - Friday 13 May 2016 5:16 But....It looks like OP's a woman.... :/ Send a private message 6 0 Reply
Reply BananEnigma | 24 #6604611 - Friday 13 May 2016 5:19 (My last comment here was in reply to #11, btw. About "the D".) Send a private message 1 8 Reply
Reply ThrottleJockey | 34 #6604877 - Friday 13 May 2016 14:56 I think you mean sexual hairy-ass-ment. Send a private message 1 1 Reply
Reply Poundit | 17 #6604605 - Friday 13 May 2016 5:16 Maybe you meant this ass the psychology term, but it still doesn't make sense in this context lol Send a private message 2 6 Reply
Reply Shade0000 | 9 #6604675 - Friday 13 May 2016 7:09 #15 either meant "as" or it was the worst pun I've ever heard Send a private message 3 2 Reply
Reply Poundit | 17 #6604808 - Friday 13 May 2016 12:38 I tried and you guys put me down for it... that's not nice :( Send a private message 1 2 Reply
Reply laden_swallow09 | 34 #6604975 - Friday 13 May 2016 17:42 We don't have to be nice to give you what downvotes you deserve. Send a private message 2 1 Reply
Reply Poundit | 17 #6605852 - Sunday 15 May 2016 0:00 You don't have to be an asshole. Fuck, this whole community is just a bunch of assholes Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By badassmf1234 | 22 #6604507 - Friday 13 May 2016 3:22 How did that possibly seem like a good idea to someone? Send a private message 20 0 Reply
By gabimk23 | 13 #6604510 - Friday 13 May 2016 3:32 how cl(ass)y of her Send a private message 14 2 Reply
By shady914 | 14 #6604519 - Friday 13 May 2016 3:36 Some people have no sense of boundaries..Fyl OP Send a private message 17 1 Reply
By trucker2 | 33 #6604523 - Friday 13 May 2016 3:42 Ask for another picture- then post it on the help wanted board... Bare ass the next question to someone else... Send a private message 2 12 Reply
Reply SecundusSecunda | 27 #6604530 - Friday 13 May 2016 3:56 I'm not sure why you would suggest that How would that help the OP, at all? Send a private message 4 0 Reply
Reply trucker2 | 33 #6604603 - Friday 13 May 2016 5:15 Help wanted... It's not op job Send a private message 0 4 Reply
By captainsmegma | 12 #6604535 - Friday 13 May 2016 4:07 And your diagnoses is Send a private message 1 2 Reply
By iiTzNeeNerz | 26 #6604539 - Friday 13 May 2016 4:13 That's a not-so-subtle way to call someone an asshole... Not saying you are, OP. Just putting it out there. Send a private message 0 8 Reply
By CarleeLynneXO | 5 #6604592 - Friday 13 May 2016 5:05 what an ass! Send a private message 1 4 Reply
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 92 6 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 842 You deserved it 41 7 Comments