Beackers675
Rip Torn
Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Fattypatty
United States
Heavy load
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Erin
Springfield, United States
Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML
git recked lul
Allen Park, United States
What even is that?
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
clitorasaurus
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
Canada
Many such cases
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Anonymous
Greenville, United States
Pain in the ass
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
thefoolwhorippedhispants
Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML
broken finger
United States
Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML
Cracky
Baltimore, United States
It's the thought that counts
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Ouch!
Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML
Workplace woes
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
San Francisco, United States
TMI
Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Two words...boxer shorts.... Two more words...granny panties... What we've learned recently is that there are two kinds of undergarments that are ass-crack-friendly, but one causes carnal arousal and the other kills it.
Marcella1016 32
Lotion is your friend.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
AzraelAngelus 15
I just learned something new thank you and WTF were you doing that resulted in you tearing your cleftal horizon
mccuish 25
I have so many questions right now
Marcella1016 32
Lotion is your friend.
RichardPencil 32
Two words...boxer shorts.... Two more words...granny panties... What we've learned recently is that there are two kinds of undergarments that are ass-crack-friendly, but one causes carnal arousal and the other kills it.
Beackers675 13
Hey guys, OP here. Just wanted to follow-up, turns out, if you sit down just right, the tag in your underwear can cut your ass-crack like a paper cut. 10/10 don't recommend.