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37 - lol, you are weird (in a good way). As for the grammar nazi, I took a class on sexual deviance in pop culture, once. When we were studying Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid, the prof got so sick of everyone spelling "bestiality" incorrectly that she told us to remember this to help us: "Sex with animals is the BEST!" Also, I find it interesting that you're (incorrectly) correcting people when your profile implies you don't like grammar nazis.
The pain of an anal fissure is said to feel like shitting shards of glass. Sounds like the loudest screams will be coming from your bathroom rather than from your nursery.
Igive - An anal fissure is a year of the skin surrounding the anus. It's thought to be caused by an overactive external anal sphincter, and it usually heals spontaneously if stool softeners and topical medicines are used. Occasionally Botox is used to relax the muscle and allow it to heal, and surgery is a measure of last resort.
People have it worse, you know! Be lucky it's just that! :) TMI moment: I have IBS and I usually go through severe constipation for one to two weeks (no BM at all), followed by one to two weeks of diarrhea and/or painful (in my gut, I mean) BMs. I get anal fissures all the time - so much so that I CONSTANTLY have one that never heals. And yes, I have given birth, so I know what it feels like lol... A burning ass hole is nothing compared to childbirth! :P But anyway, good luck with that. Get a stool softener and don'tsweat it.
I have basically the same thing. Runs in my family. Sucks. Makes life extremely difficult too. Never know when you'll be able to go on a long car ride or watch a movie or even eat without pain in general. Although the pain may be due to my lack of a gallbladder. Not sure.
That sounds beyond painful. I hope you're able to get it treated.