Animals: Today, my cat refuses to drink from any source of water that... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 5

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 102

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 108

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 41

18/05/2016 05:55

Today, my cat refuses to drink from any source of water that isn't the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 729

You deserved it 1 636

Triage

Sorry…

This Charming Man

20/04/2018 13:00

Today, it doesn’t matter that I had major surgery on my hand 2 days ago and am supposed to be on bed rest with no hand movement for 3 weeks. According to my father and my husband, it doesn’t excuse me from wifely house duties and being the sole caretaker of our one-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 517

You deserved it 543

13/01/2015 17:42

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 582

You deserved it 4 252

Invisible Woman

By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 00:01

Today, I accidentally overslept and missed a morning breakfast at work, one I never get to have when it happens. Not only did my boss say nothing about me being absent, he even asked me if the food was good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 355

15/05/2012 08:08

Spicy

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 095

You deserved it 2 829

Erm, thanks, I guess

By HeatedHeat - 29/03/2021 11:00

Today, I went to a store to buy a 43-inch TV that was on sale. The sale was so good that they sold out on the floor. I went to guest services and asked the employee if they had any in the back. She literally went to the back of the room, let out this god awful fart, came back out and said, “Sorry, we don’t.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 332

10/10/2009 22:35

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 220

You deserved it 47 396

08/03/2011 06:47

Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 810

You deserved it 2 936

03/10/2015 10:13

Today, after 4 days of avoiding me and screening his calls, my 24-year-old boyfriend sent his mother to break up with me on his behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 706

You deserved it 2 006

25/11/2011 15:02

Spicy

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 501

You deserved it 62 135

08/11/2013 11:30

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 772

You deserved it 4 636

14/08/2011 04:50

Today, I went to a party. I tried dancing in public for the first time ever. Judging by the whispers, stares and giggles, I'm never doing it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 608

You deserved it 5 162

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - 24/08/2020 07:02

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting 2 holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 83

27/11/2016 08:54

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be responsible and put parental controls on the Playstation so our kids can't play adult games or watch adult content online. And now, neither can we. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 193

You deserved it 5 031

17/03/2010 05:09

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 630

You deserved it 3 565

21/01/2012 22:44

Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 273

You deserved it 29 038

02/05/2019 18:00

Today, I drove my toddler to a schoolmate’s birthday party at a chuck-e-Cheese an hour drive away, only to find out the party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 1 023

30/09/2009 09:03

Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 879

You deserved it 54 348

16/08/2015 15:22

Today, while working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sell dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 089

You deserved it 1 762

27/10/2009 18:49

Spicy

Today, I realized that the only thing I learned from my first serious relationship was how to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 481

You deserved it 5 035

Time to bail

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 02:01

Today, I spent several hours consoling my crying girlfriend. Why was she crying? She had been told to stop 'leading on' a guy at work who has a crush on her. Worse yet, she has a crush on him, thus the crying. Worse still, this isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 567

Dat ass

By Anonymous - 15/09/2021 11:01

Today, I got a slap because my 8 year-old stepson has such a big mouth, he couldn’t resist pointing out a nearby white woman had a "phat butt" and should "give it back to the black lady she stole it from." I blame his racist old grandad for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 170

31/08/2017 23:15

Today, I spent the first day of my senior year in the ER because my new ear piercing got so infected that the doctors had to cut the earring out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 665

You deserved it 897

06/11/2009 23:55

Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 634

You deserved it 45 549

18/06/2009 13:32

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 236

You deserved it 62 170

03/12/2010 21:18

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 518

You deserved it 3 280

There's insane and then there's this guy

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 08:00

Today, my idiot boss, who says he used to be an EMT, thinks that all safety precautions in the company COVID-19 response memo and everything we’ve heard from the WHO and CDC is bull and removed the gloves from everyone’s truck. We’re a plumbing and drain company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 99

01/04/2013 16:37

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 391

You deserved it 4 136

10/02/2016 11:57

Today, I worked from home to actually be able to concentrate and make a presentation about my project. My boss then sends me a long email about how he wants us to work in the office, and how important it is for team building, giving me feelings of guilt for actually getting some work done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 615

You deserved it 1 952

25/11/2011 17:20

Spicy

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 288

You deserved it 9 177

11/07/2009 00:16

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 584

You deserved it 41 555

07/06/2015 01:17

Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 344

You deserved it 2 700

01/07/2009 17:41

Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 359

You deserved it 5 222

06/05/2019 20:00

Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 138

27/02/2019 20:00

Today, one of the customers at work shat all down the side of the toilet and on the floor. They didn’t even try to make it in the bowl. Guess who had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 167

Because reasons

By Off_Road - 04/06/2014 19:30

Today, while on the highway, a guy in a truck sped up to pass me. He was hauling a trailer, which hit me and ran me off the road. I called the cops and followed him all the way into town, where the cops pulled him over. They let him go without even a ticket, because, "He didn't know he hit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 448

You deserved it 3 995

Home Improvement

By coius - 29/11/2020 01:03

Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 252

03/02/2010 16:06

Today, I went for a job interview I scheduled 3 weeks ago. I spent $200 on a new suit to really impress them and practised like crazy every imaginable question they could ask. They already had filled the position 2 weeks ago and forgot to inform me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 326

You deserved it 2 792

21/10/2014 15:41

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 638

You deserved it 3 449

13/09/2012 05:30

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 030

You deserved it 5 355

29/07/2016 15:39

Today, I've owned my dream car for 11 days. Someone backed into it while it parked at work, and drove away without leaving a note. A man at a nearby business knows who did it but won't tell me because it was one of his customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 339

You deserved it 1 067

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Top comments

ScratchCatPower 32

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 18:01

Crazy Product Idea #251: Cat water bowl that is shaped like a toilet. Cats like to drink from water that's moving. There's bowls that cycle the water, maybe try that?

Peacelove0404 26

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 17:55

You'll just have to(i)let the cat drink

Comments

Peacelove0404 26

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 17:55

You'll just have to(i)let the cat drink

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 18:53

You should feel bad about what you just said.

MikaykayUnicorn 36

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 21:53

I mean, unless your toilet is super nasty or you never flush, toilet water is actually pretty clean. Your tap water and toilet water come from the same place.

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Thursday 19 May 2016 7:22

The problems id say is that you use bleach and things to keep the toilet clean and they wouldn't be the best for the cat to drink!!

ScratchCatPower 32

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 18:01

Crazy Product Idea #251: Cat water bowl that is shaped like a toilet. Cats like to drink from water that's moving. There's bowls that cycle the water, maybe try that?

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 19:46

My aunt actually has one of those XD

feven 32

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 18:04

I have the same problem. Meaning I can't drink water unless it's from the toilet.

thatweirdasian 22

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 18:59

Lol....

niallo 23

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 18:10

If it gets thirsty enough it will drink. You just have to outlast the guilt trip.

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 18:10

haha if your cat could open up the faucet she probably would..cats like flowing water, maybe if you get yourself a cat-fountain, she will stop drinking from the toilet

CamBamShamDaMan 26

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 18:16

Cats are dicks sometimes

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Thursday 19 May 2016 0:10

Like you?

CamBamShamDaMan 26

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Thursday 19 May 2016 12:48

U mean like u? Bc thats wat it seems like..... Ass

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 18:16

You may want to take him to the vet. He could have a kidney issue (cats with kidney issues like the coldness of the toilet water).

thatweirdasian 22

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 18:25

Maybe you can get a kids potty training chair and use that as your cat's drink bowl? Let your cat watch your swirl it so your cat can see movement and *hopefully* will drink out of that instead. Good luck!

burgermike92 17

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 19:23

OP I'm afraid your cat is secretly a dog in disguise.

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Wednesday 18 May 2016 19:56

so lock it out of the bathroom until it gets thirsty enough to drink from its perfectly good water bowl.