By Kirstie Campbell - 8/6/2020 08:08 Ups and downs Today, I finally realized that my bipolar depression gets worse in hot weather. I live in Hawaii. FML I agree, your life sucks 1406 You deserved it 157 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By danskinnow - United States Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML I agree, your life sucks 13077 You deserved it 34592 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By princess - United States - San Francisco Today, my 3 year old daughter's Halloween costume finally got delivered. FML I agree, your life sucks 25910 You deserved it 2073 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/1/2021 20:58 - Philippines Life imitates art Today, my hypochondria is getting worse. I think it's because of watching too much Grey's Anatomy. FML I agree, your life sucks 182 You deserved it 542 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/10/2020 23:04 Poker Face Today, I have to get a thyroid ultrasound. I'm a 25 year-old cancer survivor; it took amputating my left leg to beat the last one. My doctor has dealt with my hypochondria for years, long enough to know his face when I should be worried. FML I agree, your life sucks 1204 You deserved it 53 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I learned what a nail gun shooting my leg feels like. FML I agree, your life sucks 33139 You deserved it 11942 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonn - Australia Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML I agree, your life sucks 92917 You deserved it 23367 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By twitterfailsme - Israel - Rishon Le Zion Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML I agree, your life sucks 48913 You deserved it 3523 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML I agree, your life sucks 13058 You deserved it 39853 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By r1has - Pakistan - Islamabad Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML I agree, your life sucks 11961 You deserved it 4833 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bearwaitressities - South Africa - Durban Today, whilst working my waitressing job, I had a patron lose his rag at me because there was too much "green stuff" in his salad. What did he expect? Chicken? FML I agree, your life sucks 6163 You deserved it 416 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wheel chair bound - United States - Marion Today, I received the good news that my spine looks normal. Either the degenerative disc that was diagnosed 5 years prior magically healed, or my current doctor is an idiot. Considering that it's felt like someone is chiseling into my spine for some days, I'm leaning toward the latter. FML I agree, your life sucks 8354 You deserved it 570 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Clauric Today, I found out my 35 year-old brother got divorced 18 months ago when my now ex-sister-in-law told me via Facebook messenger, and asked me to tell my parents, as both of them were too scared to do it themselves. FML I agree, your life sucks 12146 You deserved it 858 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By apparentlyugly - United States Today, I was chosen out of 64 women to model for the catalog of a new clothing store. Just when my self-confidence took a dramatic boost, I looked at the evaluation sheet. I was picked due to attributes such as my "extra large figure and average face" to make below average women feel beautiful. FML I agree, your life sucks 31404 You deserved it 4606 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AvengedSevenX - United Kingdom Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML I agree, your life sucks 22958 You deserved it 25658 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blairheir721 - United States Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML I agree, your life sucks 53188 You deserved it 8772 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By snowlover - United States - Fremont Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 44622 You deserved it 6617 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By justgreat - United States Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML I agree, your life sucks 48918 You deserved it 3388 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughters ballet class I got pulled over 2 houses away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML I agree, your life sucks 11691 You deserved it 117273 228 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anx133 - China Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML I agree, your life sucks 22425 You deserved it 3151 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fack - United States - San Francisco Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML I agree, your life sucks 41453 You deserved it 10131 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mcfatty - India - Bangalore Today, despite having a bunch of work and school related things to do, I made time to go visit family I hadn't seen in a while. The main topic of discussion was how fat I've gotten. FML I agree, your life sucks 14378 You deserved it 1511 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LagSwitchFTW - United Kingdom Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML I agree, your life sucks 42957 You deserved it 5986 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Enrique - United States Today, I work at McDonalds. I burned my hand while cleaning their grill and have a 2nd/3rd degree burn from my pinky to my wrist. When told about this, my manager told me that there was "nothing that they could do for me and to tough it out". However I was given a free McFlurry. FML I agree, your life sucks 33888 You deserved it 4977 195 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Airdrie Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML I agree, your life sucks 33424 You deserved it 10182 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brokenface - United States - Notre Dame Today, I finally kicked my awful nail-biting habit. All it took was a fractured jaw. I haven't been able to chew anything for two weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 21572 You deserved it 2620 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By candie - United States Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML I agree, your life sucks 46454 You deserved it 4283 287 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Philippines - Makati Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML I agree, your life sucks 26281 You deserved it 3323 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML I agree, your life sucks 58071 You deserved it 7032 221 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Latvia - Aluksne Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML I agree, your life sucks 36316 You deserved it 2336 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoJobNovember - United States - Wadsworth Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML I agree, your life sucks 29513 You deserved it 38111 204 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Hmmm, twins Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML I agree, your life sucks 27535 You deserved it 4117 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hoo flung pu - United States Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML I agree, your life sucks 43161 You deserved it 3699 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jennabee97 - Canada - Ottawa Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML I agree, your life sucks 45784 You deserved it 4192 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML I agree, your life sucks 5304 You deserved it 448 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 404 justice not found - United States - Whitehall Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML I agree, your life sucks 20167 You deserved it 1512 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - G?teborg Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 31430 You deserved it 2269 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Macon Today, as I was pulling into work at 15 weeks pregnant, I projectile vomit all over myself and my vehicle. I had an emotional breakdown as I went back home, and called my boss to let him know I would not be in that day. I am now looking for a new job. FML I agree, your life sucks 3938 You deserved it 490 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada - North Vancouver Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 53054 You deserved it 8444 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AGluckily - United States Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML I agree, your life sucks 74315 You deserved it 24674 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 445 You deserved it 105 6 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 882 You deserved it 45 7 Comments