Dogs and Animals: Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than...

By Noname - 18/02/2009 02:52 - United States

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 784

You deserved it 3 683

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Same thing different taste

By MH. - 24/01/2014 12:36 - Norway - Sandnes

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 012

You deserved it 3 968

By the un-loved child - 28/07/2013 22:34 - United States - Salida

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 680

You deserved it 3 969

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 058

You deserved it 8 497

By krt - 03/10/2010 23:29 - United States

Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 085

You deserved it 7 792

By emma_waters23 - 26/04/2013 00:11 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 823

You deserved it 6 002

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 09:42 - United States

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 833

You deserved it 5 158

By fattie4life - 20/07/2009 22:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 155

You deserved it 8 071

By hopeless romantic - 14/08/2014 15:06 - United States - Dayton

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 165

You deserved it 5 528

By Dasani - 16/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 441

You deserved it 9 000

By PrettyScared - 29/07/2013 15:07 - United States - Matthews

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 604

You deserved it 6 049

elguapo_fml 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 14:30

so you're dog is more purebred than you - what does that say about your parents?

zidane312 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 12:18

lol, it depends. What kind of dog was it?

Comments

ronton 4

Saturday 17 July 2010 6:38

I now love ur mom

turkeymonster39 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 3:04

I like your mom and you shouldn't have set yourself up like that lol

ernodea 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 6:07

this

Uncle_Moe_Lester 3

Sunday 17 April 2011 7:24

I bet ur obese

signuploginpassw 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 23:06

holy **** im sick of fmls from people who just cant take a joke!

Carlie_McCartney 1

Saturday 23 July 2011 15:01

Me gusta hahahaha that's funny. But sorry...that's terrible D:

CountJugular 3

Friday 23 September 2011 9:36

Your moms way of telling you that you came from the milkman?

NDxEAGLE 4

Monday 26 December 2011 23:45

That must be one fine bitch

ManlyDunsparce 3

Friday 20 January 2012 18:39

NOTHING BEATS A PURE BREAD OP! That dog must look like canine Jesus. The ripped one, not that dead version.

sasha_is_my_name 5

Friday 27 January 2012 2:29

Hahah, go mom!

Keywords

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Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 134

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

The Top

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML

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You deserved it 3 359

Today, at 10AM, I fried my $2000 work laptop by dropping a glass of water on the keyboard. One hour later, the IT tech gave me a new laptop with my former hard disk and I felt very lucky. Then, at 2PM, I dropped another glass of water on my keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 7 388

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I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 340

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 887

You deserved it 1 998

Today, while getting a dental filling, the fire alarm sounded. The plaza was evacuated and we had to stand outside in the cold for 2 hours. The anesthetic wore off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 59

Today, I learned that my family only came to the state I live in because my great grandfather was caught molesting his own children. He was never convicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 65

Same thing different taste

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