Animals: Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the...

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 066

You deserved it 8 506

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Same thing different taste

By Annie - 22/11/2009 22:07 - Mexico

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 669

You deserved it 6 031

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 9 126

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 805

You deserved it 3 190

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 366

You deserved it 35 763

By furryfriend - 16/09/2014 18:46 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 099

You deserved it 3 974

By Anonymous - 31/07/2015 18:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 688

You deserved it 2 813

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 682

You deserved it 4 563

By dogggg - 14/07/2014 02:10 - India - Pune

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 740

You deserved it 9 633

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 19:50 - Spain - Santa Cruz De Tenerife

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 996

You deserved it 9 670

By ginya - 07/06/2016 01:58 - United States - Bedford

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 1 083

shananigans 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:45

Please please give us the link to that video!!

breenarae25 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 4:01

who said he was recording?

Comments

shananigans 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:45

Please please give us the link to that video!!

iknowimannoying 0

Friday 27 November 2009 5:16

i like it when you call me big poppa

NuTrees 9

Friday 1 July 2011 15:54

put to hands in the air if you a true playa!

riku3220 2

Friday 27 November 2009 1:46

So your dad just happened to be there recording you two fighting?

breenarae25 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 4:01

who said he was recording?

bballboy91 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:47

Whats the video called? I wrote "dog vomits on face" but got nothing....

loner98 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:49

lol haha

DynamicDave 11

Friday 27 November 2009 1:48

I agree with 1 and 2. I reall want the link and what a coincidence!

jzzsxm 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:50

Link please!

whoismgmt 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:51

Yeah lets see the link otherwise Im calling bullshit

SimpleMinds_fml 7

Monday 31 October 2011 7:29

To the people asking for a link... WHERE THE **** DOES IT SAY ANYONE IS RECORDING, YOU IDIOTS!

dudeitsdanny 9

Friday 27 November 2009 1:54

I agree with 3. =D

anonymous112295 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:57

i call bullshiz!

dolerat 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:58

Ha! I'll bet there's no video. Half the postings on this site are bullshit, the other half are partial bullshit.

whoismgmt 0

Friday 27 November 2009 2:01

What did those moderated comments say? Who does moderate them anyway??

Anteezy 7

Friday 27 November 2009 2:08

The moderators.

whoismgmt 0

Friday 27 November 2009 2:09

Dude what does ftw mean lol?

whoismgmt 0

Friday 27 November 2009 2:18

Oh right cool, yeah MGMT rock!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Capitalism Am I overreacting? Relatable Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 507

You deserved it 37 328

Today, I showed my 5-year-old son a photo with a ginger cat and her 6 newborn kittens. I forgot to tell my son the cat mom is not the male ginger cat at home, despite them looking exactly same. His excitement became deep sorrow and a tantrum when he figured out that we didn't get half a dozen kittens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 613

Today, my girlfriend found a teacher who taught her 10 years ago. He's a complete player, but she fell instantly and madly in love with him and kicked me to the curb. We dated for 3 years and lived together for two. I was fixing to propose in 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 915

You deserved it 354

Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 559

You deserved it 4 339

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 455

You deserved it 3 034

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 753

You deserved it 3 885

Same thing different taste

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