Animals: Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the...

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 8 492

Animals

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Same thing different taste

By furryfriend - 16/09/2014 18:46 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 083

You deserved it 3 956

By Annie - 22/11/2009 22:07 - Mexico

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 656

You deserved it 6 008

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 4 553

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 795

You deserved it 3 182

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 19:50 - Spain - Santa Cruz De Tenerife

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 987

You deserved it 9 660

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 19:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 889

You deserved it 4 501

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 09:42 - United States

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 826

You deserved it 5 153

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 13:30 - Australia

Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 1 109

By FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 296

You deserved it 8 111

By Lisa - 24/09/2018 14:33

Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 572

You deserved it 248

shananigans 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:45

Please please give us the link to that video!!

breenarae25 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 4:01

who said he was recording?

Comments

shananigans 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:45

Please please give us the link to that video!!

iknowimannoying 0

Friday 27 November 2009 5:16

i like it when you call me big poppa

NuTrees 9

Friday 1 July 2011 15:54

put to hands in the air if you a true playa!

riku3220 2

Friday 27 November 2009 1:46

So your dad just happened to be there recording you two fighting?

breenarae25 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 4:01

who said he was recording?

bballboy91 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:47

Whats the video called? I wrote "dog vomits on face" but got nothing....

loner98 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:49

lol haha

DynamicDave 11

Friday 27 November 2009 1:48

I agree with 1 and 2. I reall want the link and what a coincidence!

jzzsxm 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:50

Link please!

whoismgmt 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:51

Yeah lets see the link otherwise Im calling bullshit

SimpleMinds_fml 7

Monday 31 October 2011 7:29

To the people asking for a link... WHERE THE **** DOES IT SAY ANYONE IS RECORDING, YOU IDIOTS!

dudeitsdanny 9

Friday 27 November 2009 1:54

I agree with 3. =D

anonymous112295 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:57

i call bullshiz!

dolerat 0

Friday 27 November 2009 1:58

Ha! I'll bet there's no video. Half the postings on this site are bullshit, the other half are partial bullshit.

whoismgmt 0

Friday 27 November 2009 2:01

What did those moderated comments say? Who does moderate them anyway??

Anteezy 7

Friday 27 November 2009 2:08

The moderators.

whoismgmt 0

Friday 27 November 2009 2:09

Dude what does ftw mean lol?

whoismgmt 0

Friday 27 November 2009 2:18

Oh right cool, yeah MGMT rock!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Annoying Work Relatable Ableism Health Awkward Vacation Love Healthy Lifestyle Cute Tinder Money Dogs Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Cats Stressed out Mental health ADHD Gross Kids Parenting Anger issues Funerals Family Roommate Drugs Lonely Weird

The Top

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 881

You deserved it 2 549

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist, and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 154

You deserved it 31 795

The Top

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 2 608

Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 027

You deserved it 27 673

Today, my bedridden mother called me selfish. After an operation two weeks ago, all I've done is feed her, clean her and the house every day. She called me selfish because I couldn't lift a TV into her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 130

You deserved it 2 738

Today, we went to couples' counselling. After a while the therapist said to me, “Madam, since we've started, your husband has managed two full sentences without you interrupting him, and most of what you said was, frankly, childish whining.” I'm starting to realise I might be the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 2 943

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 234

You deserved it 4 790

Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 921

You deserved it 3 577

Same thing different taste

Chain reaction

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