Miscellaneous: Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken....

By krt - United States

Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML

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Miscellaneous

Tinder surprise

Gonna need more details, please

Suspicious minds

By Anonymous - United States - Burlington

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

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33394

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By college parking sucks - United States - Deltona

Today, for the first time this semester, I was able to get parking in time for my Wednesday class. The professor was sick and class was cancelled. FML

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22377

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By ===== - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28599

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By jj4320 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11641

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40897

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Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my roommate to chip in for electricity costs. She called me a bitch, proceeded to tell me she can't afford it despite working full time and I part time, and blocked me on all communications. Uhm, what ? FML

I agree, your life sucks

3147

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321

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By whymommywhy - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

I agree, your life sucks

57193

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By wiseoldone - United States

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23954

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By dylanhollis - United States - San Antonio

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43701

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By Anonymous - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3182

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222

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By Meowitzer

Classy Mom

Today, I was elected "class mom", even though I didn’t want to do it. I was also handed several envelopes in the hectic school hallway, containing parental cash contributions for the year. I lost several of the envelopes while rushing to my car, and now have to contribute €100 instead of €25. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1214

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML

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46287

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By daydreamer - United States - Wilton

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

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12120

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By Addicted2FML303 - United States

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

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29677

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Considerate boyfriend

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

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70657

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By staringisrude - United States

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9264

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

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22779

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By jag talar - Canada

Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30207

You deserved it

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By thanksad - United States - Cerritos

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

I agree, your life sucks

42328

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By Anonymous - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, on more than one occasion, I was mistaken for my boyfriend's mother, by his own family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27180

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2565

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By Anonymous - 25/2/2021 17:01

Well done!

Today, I got congratulations at work for being "so focused" and "not spending time on my phone." I didn't have the heart to tell my manager I don't spend time on my phone because I have no friends to talk to. FML

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716

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By Dante

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34669

You deserved it

2447

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By killmenow - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64177

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By plaid_is_cool - 5/5/2020 05:00

Open-minded

Today, my mom called me and asked me to fix her computer, three days after saying she never wanted to see me again for dating a boy. I got lectured to on how I'm ruining my life the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1422

You deserved it

203

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By DrunkenValor - United Kingdom

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

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44162

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By AchievementUnlocked? - United States

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

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46242

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By Tom - United Kingdom

Today, I crawled into bed at 2 in the morning. At 6 am, the telephone rang, waking me up. It was a wrong number. FML

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42816

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By Poopalipa - United States

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

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24797

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By tried to help

Stranger Danger!

Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML

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1860

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520

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30681

You deserved it

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By cantprovenothing - United States - Arlington

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28513

You deserved it

48250

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By breathexali - United States

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20020

You deserved it

29079

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37263

You deserved it

5033

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By Anonymous - 9/5/2020 20:00

Tinfoil hat wearers are everywhere

Today, I overheard my mom on the phone ranting about how China "engineered and released" the coronavirus and the giant hornets in an attempt to take over the world. Only one more month of quarantine left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1423

You deserved it

238

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27100

You deserved it

7506

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40567

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36439

You deserved it

3463

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By Anonymous - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18460

You deserved it

1134

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By Pierceew - United States

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40524

You deserved it

37727

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By retail hell - United States - Waterbury

Today, a customer berated me and told me to stop whining because I have to work on the weekend. What did I do to deserve this? I said, "Hi, how are you doing today?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

26366

You deserved it

1897

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By Anonymous - 29/1/2021 17:01 - Panama - Cuba

Send nudes

Today, my boyfriend said he regrets loving or even meeting me because of the distance between us, and because I won't send nudes. FML

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842

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Top comments

By FYLDeep | 25

#1495718 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:29

Why was it so ugly? Was she making the duck face?

By aznkimmy77 | 0

#1495613 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:19

Burn! xD

COMMENTS

By Jessi2487 | 0

#1495611 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:19

ugly? there's an App for that.

TheTigerRoars | 0

#1495769 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:37

Yes, the app where you can feel sorry about yourself and post it on FML. Beware, these people will only make you feel worse. :D
-Fluffy McTiger

_Damien_ | 0

#1495807 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:40

what the heck is stracted?!? it's definitely spelled scratched**

TheTigerRoars | 0

#1496051 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:09

Oh, poo. My comment didn't show.
Thank you, Mr. Baboon, for finding my typo. My phone likes to change my words. :D
-Fluffy McTiger

LeoFML | 1

#1496070 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:15

I see we don't like to cuss?

TheTigerRoars | 0

#1496154 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:27

Oh, no. We like to. Just the risk of the holy Mods. :D
-Fluffy McTiger

EffinAhole | 0

#1496474 - Monday 4 October 2010 11:44

yeah I received a "warning" in my email to be nice on here. It's pretty funny that a website called FML doesn't like when we use bad language.

coolsteve | 0

#1496527 - Monday 4 October 2010 12:08

The tense shift in this fml really pissed me off.

KingDingALing | 9

#1496560 - Monday 4 October 2010 12:18

YDI for being an asshole, OP.

theian01 | 3

#1497507 - Monday 4 October 2010 16:55

This is horribly written. I don't understand it.

smallsmerry | 0

#1500411 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 4:01

here kitty kitty!!!

soccerbug6 | 0

#1500437 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 4:05

me too

Ben360 | 6

#1500939 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 6:36

Today,I realized I look like my mom. FML

glambert1998 | 0

#1510449 - Thursday 7 October 2010 6:34

LMFAO

By aznkimmy77 | 0

#1495613 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:19

Burn! xD

Bees_fml | 0

#1496975 - Monday 4 October 2010 13:34

But what was it a picture OF??

By meganasoarus | 0

#1495635 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:21

ugly people are supposed to be nice.

ThiszMexicanLove | 0

#1495856 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:44

Why would ugly people be nice if they get made fun of and insulted for BEING UGLY.? You are a dumbasz for believe that bullshit.

Freeze_fml | 16

#1495893 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:47

I love Justin Bieber. Sigh, I wish I could be like Shane Dawson.

kenjiisown | 1

#1496048 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:09

Nah, she's just a Mexican.

FFML_314 | 11

#1496078 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:18

Freeze said "What's the difference?"

MissGrinch | 4

#1496084 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:18

26, that was uncalled for.

kenjiisown | 1

#1496136 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:24

Meh. It was worth it, though. I could have easily said "nah, she's just 15 years old." Using her ethnicity is more funny.

Freeze_fml | 16

#1496178 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:32

Dammit Darren.

InDenial | 6

#1496591 - Monday 4 October 2010 12:26

20, do you think it's 'cool' to add a 'z' on the end of words? It makes YOU look like a dumbass.

Amz Iz Coolz nowz cozz iz talkz likez thisz?

meganasoarus | 0

#1497539 - Monday 4 October 2010 17:15

are you speaking from experience?
they're supposed to be nice because that's the only thing going for them. you'd do well to take that advice. ;)

By aznkimmy77 | 0

#1495659 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:23

Beep Boop Beep Boopity Beep.

BahahahLOL | 0

#1496130 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:23

IM THE SCATMAN!

By Rokksteady | 3

#1495678 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:25

I bet you felt kinda stupid?

By MissGrinch | 4

#1495680 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:25

How does it feel showing the photo to her laughter?

By Shookitup | 0

#1495685 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:26

The apple never falls too far from the tree :)

By fernandita91 | 0

#1495698 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:27

lol like mother...

By FYLDeep | 25

#1495718 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:29

Why was it so ugly? Was she making the duck face?

MissErikaHart | 0

#1495826 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:41

I hate those

By AustinEnsley | 0

#1495747 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:34

ahw im sry