Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken....

By krt - United States

Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML

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Miscellaneous

White line fever

The opposite of a good idea

Caught red-handed

By gayvsgay - Germany - V?lklingen

Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML

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23720

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By Disappointed - United States

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

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58906

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By JulesBlues

Today, I sat in my doctor's office and broke down, crying and shaking, with a blood pressure of 190, getting off my chest everything that has gone wrong in my life lately. To which the doctor, well into her sixties, replied, "My goodness, I've never met anyone with so many problems!" FML

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1784

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By Anonymous - Canada - Surrey

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

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44635

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By justhelpful - Austria - Mils

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

I agree, your life sucks

29999

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2018

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By Shut up loser! - 2/12/2019 03:00

Not her fault neither mine

Today, my 4 year old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

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4370

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I competed in a ballet competition and made the finals, while I was on stage awaiting the results, I sneezed really loudly and snot went flying all over the stage. When I went to accept my award the woman presenting it refused to shake my hand. FML

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By boinger - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

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By lonelyguy - Puerto Rico

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

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By Just a joke - 2/11/2020 05:01 - Netherlands - Utrecht

No jokes allowed

Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "vegan food doesn't contain calories", and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously and was therefore a moron. FML

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870

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By nearlythere - Australia

Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML

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24325

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By unknown relationship - United States - Shorewood

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

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47298

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By Acne_problems

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

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1905

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

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16630

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By Anon - United States - Grand Junction

Today, my mother-in-law complained to me about the cost of getting old. She then spent an hour showing me her River Cruise vacation photos from several countries. FML

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3495

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304

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By piliseep - United States - Apex

Good Meowrning!

Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML

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3521

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527

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By Trapped. - United States - Birmingham

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

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46856

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By IDIOT - United States

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

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39542

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By Rachel - United States

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

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40670

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By emeraldapostle

Today, both a coworker of mine and my boss agreed that I fit the profile of a serial killer. I don't know what's worse, the fact that they think that low of me, or the fact that this isn't the first time someone's said I remind them of a serial killer. FML

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1645

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By Anonymous - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

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56226

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By Whoopsx99 - United States

Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

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35414

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By Ouchies - United States

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

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50172

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By Stupid - United States

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

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38052

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By Anonymous - United States - Latonia

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

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26488

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By Anonymous

Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML

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1744

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143

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By ghoul

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

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36748

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By CUNTCUNTCUNT - Australia - Slacks Creek

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

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48438

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By alyssabree42 - United States - Estacada

Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML

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17910

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By Anonymous - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend's female best friend that they have been dating for the last month. This was the week of our one year anniversary, and my birthday. We just moved into a duplex with my name on the lease. FML

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4063

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By im_not_me - Australia

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML

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38317

You deserved it

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By screamo - United Kingdom

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

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21803

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, I used a blanket outside for a picnic. Later, while throwing it in the washer, I noticed a lizard jump out to land inbetween the bowl and the side. Then I noticed a wasp had joined it. I'm scared to open my washer now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4964

You deserved it

580

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By Hover Hand - United States - Merchantville

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

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9112

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By Evjoel - Bermuda - Hamilton

Today, I decided to take some local college courses to improve my résumé. I got into the physics room and a large, multi-colored sign in large print stated, "NO THROWING OR STABBING." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10146

You deserved it

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By Lolaa123 - United States

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

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31110

You deserved it

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By mister_pinky - United States - Portland

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML

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Top comments

By FYLDeep | 25

#1495718 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:29

Why was it so ugly? Was she making the duck face?

By aznkimmy77 | 0

#1495613 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:19

Burn! xD

COMMENTS

By Jessi2487 | 0

#1495611 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:19

ugly? there's an App for that.

TheTigerRoars | 0

#1495769 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:37

Yes, the app where you can feel sorry about yourself and post it on FML. Beware, these people will only make you feel worse. :D
-Fluffy McTiger

_Damien_ | 0

#1495807 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:40

what the heck is stracted?!? it's definitely spelled scratched**

TheTigerRoars | 0

#1496051 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:09

Oh, poo. My comment didn't show.
Thank you, Mr. Baboon, for finding my typo. My phone likes to change my words. :D
-Fluffy McTiger

LeoFML | 1

#1496070 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:15

I see we don't like to cuss?

TheTigerRoars | 0

#1496154 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:27

Oh, no. We like to. Just the risk of the holy Mods. :D
-Fluffy McTiger

EffinAhole | 0

#1496474 - Monday 4 October 2010 11:44

yeah I received a "warning" in my email to be nice on here. It's pretty funny that a website called FML doesn't like when we use bad language.

coolsteve | 0

#1496527 - Monday 4 October 2010 12:08

The tense shift in this fml really pissed me off.

KingDingALing | 9

#1496560 - Monday 4 October 2010 12:18

YDI for being an asshole, OP.

theian01 | 3

#1497507 - Monday 4 October 2010 16:55

This is horribly written. I don't understand it.

smallsmerry | 0

#1500411 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 4:01

here kitty kitty!!!

soccerbug6 | 0

#1500437 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 4:05

me too

Ben360 | 6

#1500939 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 6:36

Today,I realized I look like my mom. FML

glambert1998 | 0

#1510449 - Thursday 7 October 2010 6:34

LMFAO

By aznkimmy77 | 0

#1495613 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:19

Burn! xD

Bees_fml | 0

#1496975 - Monday 4 October 2010 13:34

But what was it a picture OF??

By meganasoarus | 0

#1495635 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:21

ugly people are supposed to be nice.

ThiszMexicanLove | 0

#1495856 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:44

Why would ugly people be nice if they get made fun of and insulted for BEING UGLY.? You are a dumbasz for believe that bullshit.

Freeze_fml | 16

#1495893 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:47

I love Justin Bieber. Sigh, I wish I could be like Shane Dawson.

kenjiisown | 1

#1496048 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:09

Nah, she's just a Mexican.

FFML_314 | 11

#1496078 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:18

Freeze said "What's the difference?"

MissGrinch | 4

#1496084 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:18

26, that was uncalled for.

kenjiisown | 1

#1496136 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:24

Meh. It was worth it, though. I could have easily said "nah, she's just 15 years old." Using her ethnicity is more funny.

Freeze_fml | 16

#1496178 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:32

Dammit Darren.

InDenial | 6

#1496591 - Monday 4 October 2010 12:26

20, do you think it's 'cool' to add a 'z' on the end of words? It makes YOU look like a dumbass.

Amz Iz Coolz nowz cozz iz talkz likez thisz?

meganasoarus | 0

#1497539 - Monday 4 October 2010 17:15

are you speaking from experience?
they're supposed to be nice because that's the only thing going for them. you'd do well to take that advice. ;)

By aznkimmy77 | 0

#1495659 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:23

Beep Boop Beep Boopity Beep.

BahahahLOL | 0

#1496130 - Monday 4 October 2010 10:23

IM THE SCATMAN!

By Rokksteady | 3

#1495678 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:25

I bet you felt kinda stupid?

By MissGrinch | 4

#1495680 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:25

How does it feel showing the photo to her laughter?

By Shookitup | 0

#1495685 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:26

The apple never falls too far from the tree :)

By fernandita91 | 0

#1495698 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:27

lol like mother...

By FYLDeep | 25

#1495718 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:29

Why was it so ugly? Was she making the duck face?

MissErikaHart | 0

#1495826 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:41

I hate those

By AustinEnsley | 0

#1495747 - Monday 4 October 2010 9:34

ahw im sry