By FML Videos Disaster Preparedness In all seriousness, be safe out there guys! 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MissMSE - Canada Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML I agree, your life sucks 27977 You deserved it 4521 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Special wedding Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML I agree, your life sucks 2131 You deserved it 1352 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WeezysBaby - Canada Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML I agree, your life sucks 35541 You deserved it 91208 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Herman - France Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML I agree, your life sucks 22820 You deserved it 5787 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WalkTheOtherWay - Canada - Toronto Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML I agree, your life sucks 30582 You deserved it 7536 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By honey soy - Australia Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML I agree, your life sucks 29860 You deserved it 3495 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dentistftw - United States Today, was my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 48871 You deserved it 2882 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Mulgrave Get Out Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML I agree, your life sucks 51042 You deserved it 8101 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Toothy_Peg - Australia Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 89042 You deserved it 4312 388 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Walter - Spain Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML I agree, your life sucks 31970 You deserved it 6196 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boss called me into her office to tell me I needed to mind my own business and not question everything my newest co-worker does. Yesterday, I stopped the new girl from giving $6,000 to the wrong person. I was fired on the spot. The new girl was promoted into my job. FML I agree, your life sucks 43508 You deserved it 2984 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML I agree, your life sucks 35285 You deserved it 3784 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Dunfermline Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML I agree, your life sucks 47180 You deserved it 5045 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brea - United States Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML I agree, your life sucks 9835 You deserved it 68441 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jfields2474 - United States - San Francisco Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML I agree, your life sucks 35644 You deserved it 3563 231 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Misky Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML I agree, your life sucks 10567 You deserved it 28361 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Death Grips Today, I knew my girlfriend's dad owned a security company. What I did not know was that he treats his employees like family, so my girlfriend has about 40 scary uncles who’ve known her since she was a baby, and most of them are ex-military. FML I agree, your life sucks 1844 You deserved it 310 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 27249 You deserved it 11826 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 10369 You deserved it 37561 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, at 3 in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML I agree, your life sucks 1448 You deserved it 179 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML - Finland Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML I agree, your life sucks 27888 You deserved it 8552 204 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By too young for this - United States Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML I agree, your life sucks 68139 You deserved it 5844 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 58606 You deserved it 3593 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SpiderFather - France Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML I agree, your life sucks 56947 You deserved it 5842 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ford Today, a child that was born due to my donation to a sperm bank in 1995 contacted me. My current wife, who I met in 2003, is convinced I cheated on her and is filing for a divorce. FML I agree, your life sucks 5562 You deserved it 513 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cieee - United States Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 28767 You deserved it 5019 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By goldendarkness Today, my boyfriend and I decided to stop by a drive-thru on the way to his place. I asked him to order a Coke for me, at which point he asked if I wanted to make it a Diet Coke. FML I agree, your life sucks 11661 You deserved it 2933 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Dartmouth Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML I agree, your life sucks 43639 You deserved it 3473 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sam - United States - Indianapolis Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML I agree, your life sucks 26370 You deserved it 2245 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/6/2020 05:00 Manly men fighting Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML I agree, your life sucks 1381 You deserved it 235 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Conway Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML I agree, your life sucks 39524 You deserved it 19186 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go in for work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML I agree, your life sucks 55428 You deserved it 8409 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By puking now - Canada - Sherwood Park Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML I agree, your life sucks 55774 You deserved it 5093 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mishti Today, whilst on the toilet at the mall, I took my new designer sandals off as my feet were blistered. Not even a second later, a hand reached out from under the stall, grabbed my sandals and disappeared. I had to walk home a mile barefoot. In the burning heat. FML I agree, your life sucks 4123 You deserved it 1567 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notsexy - United States Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML I agree, your life sucks 33997 You deserved it 83200 217 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/6/2020 14:02 Smash capitalism Today, I was basically treated to, "Hey, you're laid off by the end of the month. Oh, and would you mind training your replacement? We have budget cuts, and he works for less." FML I agree, your life sucks 1530 You deserved it 86 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous No exit! No choice! Today, I drove my car and suddenly I got diarrhea & shit my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then, one of my work mates saw my car and came to say hello, she saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML I agree, your life sucks 2126 You deserved it 266 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By soldiergirl - United States Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he "can't date someone who supports the war". We started dating because he thought I looked cute in my uniform. FML I agree, your life sucks 35999 You deserved it 3786 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By faglypoog Today, my $200 drone malfunctioned and wouldn't stop. For fifteen minutes I followed it on my bike until it finally disappeared. On the way back I was pulled over for not wearing a helmet. FML I agree, your life sucks 7954 You deserved it 1776 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nomorepetbird - United States Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML I agree, your life sucks 30987 You deserved it 3850 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pjsr | 32 #7694899 - Monday 17 September 2018 19:41 This is why there is no male version of Mary Poppins Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By pjsr | 32 #7694899 - Monday 17 September 2018 19:41 This is why there is no male version of Mary Poppins Send a private message 3 0 Reply
Today, I wore leggings without underwear. When I got in the car after a busy shopping day, I realized that my pubes had poked through the fabric and my... I agree, your life sucks 149 You deserved it 789 9 Comments
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 868 You deserved it 65 4 Comments