Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML
Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML
Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My best friend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML
Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML
Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML
Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been making up songs about farts and singing them non-stop. He's 26. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
xblaine 17
What an attention *****.
unjustlychicken 10
is his name dane cook?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
EdenCrystal 21
Hey, it could be worse. At least he isn't booing from a discrete location, right?
yellowaholic 25
I don't know, ruining all of his jokes seems pretty bad.
Ghost308 11
Sounds like a standup kind of guy
stryggzy 15
That's one way to shatter the iron balls it takes to go up in front of hundreds of people and try making them laugh... FYL OP
Jaaared_ 15
What a douche.
worldclassrager 39
Otherwise did it go well?
Ashley_Radke 13
I'm thinking not.
applebramble 22
You never know... Maybe it's on YouTube .
ihaveasushicat 24
Could you have had him kicked out? I know it's your brother but that's really messed up of him. It was your show... Not his.
Turbo_Turtle 14
Did he at least stand up when he did it?
breakinlegs 19
Was he on stage with you or just yelling from the back? Either way he is ass. Turn this FML into one of your jokes. Free material.
glabberfasted 16
Hey, one of the characteristics that makes a good standup comic is their ability to handle hecklers. You're gonna have to learn how eventually to be successful.
chocolatefrog28 29
So he beat you to the punch line. It's ok, just don't tell him when you play a gig again and you're golden.